Happy anniversary? Think again.

"Forrest Gump" was released in theaters 20 years ago today, and the only thing more shocking than the fact that it beat out "Pulp Fiction" for the Best Picture Oscar is that it's actually not the heartwarming classic you've been brainwashed into believing it was.

No, but I love "Forrest Gump," you may be thinking to yourself at this very moment. Uh, no, correction. You don't love it. You are a victim of mass hysteria. Now cast off the bonds of inculcation as we list eight solid reasons why "Forrest Gump" is actually a terrible and - dare we say it - anti-American work of Hollywood propaganda. If you're still not convinced after clicking through the gallery below, then we have news for you: you're probably a terrorist.

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