Fact 1: When James Franco was a kid, he was called by "Ted" on account of how his middle name is Edward.

Fact 2: Teddy Franco would have been the cutest name on earth and he never should have changed it.

Fact 3: Teenage Ted Franco was a total little shit, as evidenced by this recently-surfaced apology letter written when the actor was 14. He wrote the note after he egged a neighbor's house and got caught.

Fact 4: James "Teddy Boy" Franco's handwriting looks like this:

Fact 5: The note is a little hard to read, so I have transcribed it for you:

"Dear Dr. Moskowitz,

First of all I will apologize once again for destroying you personal property. I did it out of carelessness not thinking that feelings might be hurt. And valuable time and money wasted. It will never enter my mind to so something like this ever again.

Thank you for being so gracious about this whole batter, and not having the police involved. It was very considerate of you, to do this for us after we were discourteous to you.

I am truly sorry. I hope we can just forget all this and put it behind us. I have learned my lesson.

Thank you,
Ted Franco"

 (h/t Hollywood Prospectus)

Liana Maeby grew up in Los Angeles and it has made her just as terrible as you'd expect. A graduate of USC's film school, she previously worked as an editor for Crushable.com, and has written for publications like Interview and The Village Voice. Her first book, a satirical work entitled "Earl Can Hurl (You Can Hurl Too)" written when she was eight, remains unpublished.