Good evening, America. Chloe Sevigny -- or at least comedian Drew Droege's version of Chloe Sevigny -- is back with plenty of opinions about birds. Se's not quite sure how to pronounce that word, but she's sure she loves them. Birds, I mean. Or is it BYIRDZ? Here are some other Chloe classics that won't remind you of "Boys Don't Cry" at all.


Behold, birthdays:



Behold, Halloween:



And of course, resolutions:



Congratulations. You now have permission never to speak to Jeanne Tripplehorn ever again.