Out of all the things I could possibly spend my time on, my number one dream project is to do "Dancing with the Stars" recaps with my grandmother. She's a huge fan of the show and has so very many things to say about it, all total gems. But every time I bring the idea up to Grams, she demures and laughs and asks me what "blogging" means, again, and also, didn't I go to college?

A man with a YouTube channel called pixelspersecond got luckier than I ever have. His adorable mother had never seen "The Matrix," so he watched it with her and later recorded Mom explaining the plot. According to her, it's a movie about a man named Neo who sometimes goes by Leo and his adventures dodging trains while hiding his possible bisexuality from a black man named Moshimo.

Also, she thinks Tom Bergeron is very handsome and wonders if Karina Smirnoff might be Jewish.