Out of all the things I could possibly spend my time on, my number one dream project is to do "Dancing with the Stars" recaps with my grandmother. She's a huge fan of the show and has so very many things to say about it, all total gems. But every time I bring the idea up to Grams, she demures and laughs and asks me what "blogging" means, again, and also, didn't I go to college?

A man with a YouTube channel called pixelspersecond got luckier than I ever have. His adorable mother had never seen "The Matrix," so he watched it with her and later recorded Mom explaining the plot. According to her, it's a movie about a man named Neo who sometimes goes by Leo and his adventures dodging trains while hiding his possible bisexuality from a black man named Moshimo.

Also, she thinks Tom Bergeron is very handsome and wonders if Karina Smirnoff might be Jewish.

Liana Maeby grew up in Los Angeles and it has made her just as terrible as you'd expect. A graduate of USC's film school, she previously worked as an editor for Crushable.com, and has written for publications like Interview and The Village Voice. Her first book, a satirical work entitled "Earl Can Hurl (You Can Hurl Too)" written when she was eight, remains unpublished.