Um, hello, if your song announces that it's time for the boys to stay home and twerk, then the boys staying home had better twerk! They had better twerk so hard the beers rattle off the edges of the shelves of the refrigerator and the tortilla chips spontaneously combust and the football game starts broadcasting a pulsing black light.

How much molly do you think Bruce Willis took before this shoot?

Liana Maeby grew up in Los Angeles and it has made her just as terrible as you'd expect. A graduate of USC's film school, she previously worked as an editor for, and has written for publications like Interview and The Village Voice. Her first book, a satirical work entitled "Earl Can Hurl (You Can Hurl Too)" written when she was eight, remains unpublished.