In the ultimate twist, it turns out that one of these children lost a set of parents because they were out getting her a Little Orphan Annie doll.

(I'm going to assume that exists.)

(I have just googled it and it does exist.)

(However, it's a pretty crappy present.)

(Although maybe someone can think of a cool reboot.)

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Liana Maeby grew up in Los Angeles and it has made her just as terrible as you'd expect. A graduate of USC's film school, she previously worked as an editor for, and has written for publications like Interview and The Village Voice. Her first book, a satirical work entitled "Earl Can Hurl (You Can Hurl Too)" written when she was eight, remains unpublished.