Watching this video totally turned me into an uptight middle-aged woman dressed in a sensible pantsuit and a single string of pears, eating yogurt for breakfast and about to prune the rose garden. By which I mean, I actually uttered a, "How dare he" aloud. But really, how dare this Beyonce concert go-er think that smacking the singer's butt passes for acceptable behavior. What a disgusting and offensive thing to do, and ugh, it just makes me so mad I could spit!

Beyonce's response to the butt-slap, which went down because she leaned into the front row for a crowd sing-along? A totally in-control, "I will have you escorted out right now, all right?" Although a mean right hook wouldn't have been inappropriate. I mean, you just know Beyonce can throw a hell of a punch.

Liana Maeby grew up in Los Angeles and it has made her just as terrible as you'd expect. A graduate of USC's film school, she previously worked as an editor for, and has written for publications like Interview and The Village Voice. Her first book, a satirical work entitled "Earl Can Hurl (You Can Hurl Too)" written when she was eight, remains unpublished.