Of all the on-screen captions to get right at your awards show, probably the most important one is the name of person getting the Lifetime Achievement Award. I mean, just a thought. No biggie. Just, you know, 100 million albums sold, and four Grammys, and an Oscar for Best Original Song. No. Big. Deal. Seriously, don't sweat it. Also, you're fired.


Lionel Richie at the 2014 BET Awards

A former contributor to sites including MTV's The Backlot and Bloody-Disgusting, Chris Eggertsen worked in film development before indulging his love of pop culture writing full time. He specializes in horror, the intersection of social issues and entertainment and Howard Stern. He's on Twitter @HitFixChris.