One way to know you're not human is if you dislike Alan Cumming. Go back to Mars, freak.

Alan is a king of kings, and this hilarious clip of the "Good Wife" Emmy nominee (and onetime "Masterpiece Theatre" host) describing how he lost a role in a Woody Allen movie is actually exhilarating. Picture Woody Allen moving toward you like a curious ferret. That is what Alan Cumming had to deal with. This is his gift to us.