Arthur Brown is the name of the man who was caught on camera shoplifting a mannequin from a sex shop Bainbridge, Washington. It's also the name of the man who was caught on camera breaking into the same sex shop later that night -- except this time, he was wearing the wig from the mannequin he'd stolen hours earlier. Watching the first instance of illegal activity and seeing that only the top half of the mannequin made it out with Arthur, you might assume he returned that night for her bottom bits, but nope: Arty just came back for some sex toys and lingerie.

Arthur was swiftly tracked down and arrested by the Bainbridge police. However, there has been no mention of the mannequin's fate, and I can only assume she's weeping silently while pining away for her heroic liberator/probable sick fuck.

Liana Maeby grew up in Los Angeles and it has made her just as terrible as you'd expect. A graduate of USC's film school, she previously worked as an editor for, and has written for publications like Interview and The Village Voice. Her first book, a satirical work entitled "Earl Can Hurl (You Can Hurl Too)" written when she was eight, remains unpublished.