Charlie Hunnam. You've just been cast as fictional dreamboat/BDSM-enthusiast Christian Grey. Congratulations!

So, do you think you can live up to this already iconic character?

And how do you feel knowing that grandmas are going to be masturbating to your image?

Sorry, too much too soon? Okay, how do you feel about bolstering the fuzzy handcuff industry? Are you excited to do be doing that?

Would you rather talk about anal beads, then?

Ooh. Interesting choice of words, Charlie.

Okay, okay. Relax. New line of questioning: are you, Charlie Hunnam, yourself simply "Twilight" fan fiction?

How many helicopters do you own?

Can I put a finger up your butt?

Anyway, good luck with that role, bud! 

Liana Maeby grew up in Los Angeles and it has made her just as terrible as you'd expect. A graduate of USC's film school, she previously worked as an editor for, and has written for publications like Interview and The Village Voice. Her first book, a satirical work entitled "Earl Can Hurl (You Can Hurl Too)" written when she was eight, remains unpublished.