If you aren't up on the latest in Madonna accessories news (and if that's the case, I assume you're currently flogging yourself), the singer has been sporting a gold-and-diamond grill for the last few weeks. She wore the thing out on a date to a symphony in the South of France, of all damn places, which is where the photo below was snapped.

Incidentally, Madonna turns 55 tomorrow. I know! Anyway, here's a list of 8 things that could conceivably be stuck in Madge's ostentatious grill. We have no proof that they aren't.

1. A Kabbalah bracelet.

2. Fatty arm tissue, every bit of which is meticulously chewed off once a day.

3. Lipstick, probably!

4. A forgotten crucifix, from the crucifix accessory days.

5. Virgin blood.

6. Poppy seeds! Damn poppy seeds are always getting stuck in grills.

7. One of those Grammys.

8. David Banda Mwale Ciccone Ritchie

Liana Maeby grew up in Los Angeles and it has made her just as terrible as you'd expect. A graduate of USC's film school, she previously worked as an editor for Crushable.com, and has written for publications like Interview and The Village Voice. Her first book, a satirical work entitled "Earl Can Hurl (You Can Hurl Too)" written when she was eight, remains unpublished.