God save the queen's portrait! A painting of Queen Elizabeth was defaced earlier today by an angry Englishman with a can of spray paint. The work, which was on public display at Westminster Abbey, shows the queen looking somber and stately in a long red robe. The man wrote 'HELP" across the painting in yellow spray paint, evidently in an attempt to bring attention to a political group he belongs to called Fathers4Justice, which advocates for fathers who have been denied access to their children.

The paint offender was arrested and the portrait removed from view, but that doesn't have to be the end of this story. Here are 5 much more effective ways the painting could have been defaced.

1. Banksy must have his say in British politics:

2. Wouldn't the Queen's robe make a lovely red carpet?

3. Viral marketing time!

4. Oh, god. Really, Perez Hilton?

5. The Lannisters? They send their regards but want you to know the throne will be theirs.

Liana Maeby grew up in Los Angeles and it has made her just as terrible as you'd expect. A graduate of USC's film school, she previously worked as an editor for Crushable.com, and has written for publications like Interview and The Village Voice. Her first book, a satirical work entitled "Earl Can Hurl (You Can Hurl Too)" written when she was eight, remains unpublished.