Make no mistake: Barbra Streisand is the definitive talent of the 20th century. She's explosive and righteous and legendary and beige and crafty and chutzpah-powered and Barbra. But when she joins Instagram, as she did today, suddenly she joins the ranks of the overgrown preteens who dominate the app, and she's subject to the same criticism as they are.
Take a look at Barbra's first Instagram post. The caption reads: "Hello Instagram... isn't my Samantha just precious?" Indeed, she's right. But here are ten other observations about her Instagram premiere.
1. Her hair and face are the same color, and that color is God.
2. More on the hair: It's the perfect taupe-blonde compound. Like a great pencil skirt or a Wheat Thin.
3. She is sitting in a normal chair like it's a wheelbarrow.
4. At age 72, Barbra is adopting a "Miles Standish as a church organist" fashion sense and I approve.
5. Apparently Barbra isolates a single wicker chair on her massive lawn for photo shoots.
6. Is that a white bridge behind her? It's possible Barbra Streisand lives in a Monet painting.
7. I think she's trying to intimidate us?
8. I would watch a reality show about Barbra walking on that grass in those heels.
9. Samantha looks a LITTLE like James Brolin.
10. How long do you think Barbra looked to find the whitest single seat cushion in furniture history? One decade? Two? Don't get too comfortable, Samantha.