10 hilarious tweets from 'Weekend Update' writer Alex Baze
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Alex Baze is the head writer for "Weekend Update" on “SNL,” so it should come as no surprise that his Twitter is one of the sharpest and most hilarious feeds around. Alex’s jokes tend to be darkly clever with a self-deprecating bent -- and sometimes his mother comes to visit for the sole purpose of blessing her son’s followers with gems such as, "’Oh, he went to LA? But you sent the email to New York. He's not gonna get it.’
Alex tweets as @bazecraze, presumably because @bazeamaze was already taken by a tween or a gardening enthusiast. Here are ten of Alex’s finest 140-character missives:
10. I'd like to have a child one day. Two days, tops.
9. I hope you're using all the time you save by saying "totes" instead of a "totally" to learn a trade.
8. I wouldn't mind going to Coachella and walking around in a business suit yelling "Ashley?? Ashley, come home!"
7. I like how we say "vegan" now instead of "eating disorder".
6. Dr. Oz is going to tell you how to lose weight! Step one: watch TV at 4pm.
5. Hey Christmas, either start later or get more songs.
4. Is there any proof that Joe Biden isn't just a big yellow lab?
3. "Here comes Honey Boo Boo," whispered a meth dealer in 2019.
2. This coffee is so strong it just raised 5 children on a nurse's salary.
1. I admire your goal, but remember, if you blow it, now Hitler has a time machine.
2013 | Comedy | NRSummary: Insanely funny comedy show created by Amy Schumer, who stars in brilliantly funny sketches about sex, city living, dating, and friendship.Director: Daniel Powell, Amy Schumer (creators)
Cast: Amy Schumer, Kevin Kane, Mike Houston
1995 | Mystery | NRSummary: Denzel Washington plays an out of work WWII vet who takes the wrong job and is soon neck-deep in a mess of politics, murder, and jazz in '40s Los Angeles.Director: Carl Franklin
Cast: Denzel Washington, Tom Sizemore, Jennifer Beals
1997 | Crime | RSummary: Quentin Tarantino adaptats an Elmore Leonard novel into this story of a few increasingly desperate people scraping to get by. It has deep soul, a wicked sense of humor, and Samuel L. Jackson, Robert De Niro, Pam Grier, and Robert Forster.Director: Quentin Tarantino
Cast: Pam Grier, Samuel L. Jackson, Robert Forster
2008 | Science Fiction | PGSummary: Animated series continues the story of Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker as they battle the Emperor Palpatine, Count Dooku and General Grievous, but also takes time to explore other smaller characters in the Star Wars universe.Director: George Lucas (creator)
Cast: Tom Kane, Dee Bradley Baker, Matt Lanter
2013 | Thriller | RSummary: Based on the true story of Daniel Lugo (Mark Wahlberg) a Miami bodybuilder who wants to live the American dream. He would like to have the money that other people have. So he enlists the help of fellow bodybuilder Adrian Doorbal (Anthony Mackie) and ex-convict, Christian bodybuilder Paul Doyle (D...Director: Michael Bay
Cast: Mark Wahlberg, Dwayne Johnson, Anthony Mackie, Tony Shalhoub
1993 | Sports | PGSummary: Emotionally powerful sports classic featuring Sean Astin as a skinny high school kid with big football dreams and the determination to make his way towards his dream team at Notre Dame.Director: David Anspaugh
Cast: Sean Astin, Jon Favreau, Ned Beatty
1996 | Crime | RSummary: Jerry, a small-town Minnesota car salesman is bursting at the seams with debt... but he's got a plan. He's going to hire two thugs to kidnap his wife in a scheme to collect a hefty ransom from his wealthy father-in-law. It's going to be a snap and nobody's going to get hurt... until people start ...Director: Joel Coen, Ethan Coen
Cast: William H. Macy, Frances McDormand, Steve Buscemi, Peter Stormare
2013 | Drama | RSummary: Leonardo DiCaprio and Jonah Hill have boundless energy in the story of a real-life commodities crook who earned millions through scummy small-time stock trades.Director: Martin Scorsese
Cast: Leonardo DiCaprio, Jonah Hill, Margot Robbie
2007 | Comedy | PGSummary: Newlyweds Nick (Ice Cube) and Suzanne (Long) decide to move to the suburbs to provide a better life for their two kids. But their idea of a dream home is disturbed by a contractor (McGinley) with a bizarre approach to business.Director: Steve Carr
Cast: John C. McGinley, Ice Cube, Nia Long, Aleisha Allen
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