Kevin Seccia is a writer and comedian who has penned (yes, he uses ink and a quill) both a book called "Punching Tom Hanks" and this article about an indulgent, somewhat disastrous family vacation for Riot. He also happens to be quite hilarious on Twitter!

Here are 10 great jokes typed out by Kevin using the pointy end of the quill.




10. Mandy Patinkin can immediately look like a wizard just by holding a stick.

9. Just hit a racist with my car. Probably a racist. I feel like he was. Statistically, very likely. Oh so you think there's no racism problem?

8. We'd be in a lot better shape as a society if the act of turning a ball cap around sterilized you.

7. Every time Guy Fieri forgets to call it "Hotlanta" Chester Cheetah magically appears to remove one flame from his shirt.

6. "You home?" -scariest text you can get

5. I'm at the age where if your thing doesn't start by nine I make a sound like you just told me your wife left you.

4. Rush Limbaugh is what's created when the formula that made Swamp Thing is instead poured over YouTube comments and a glazed ham.

3. I realized I was maybe not the best listener when a friend had to come out to me twice.

2. Intelligent people who watch awful humans on reality shows to mock them know that's the same reason dumb people watch them, right?

1. Where's everybody getting these families from? Should I get one? Is it pretty fun?


10 hilarious tweets from comedian Karen Kilgariff

12 hilarious tweets from the amazing Tween Hobo

10 hilarious tweets from comedian Robin McCauley

10 hilarious tweets from comedian Mike Birbiglia

10 hilarious tweets from comedian Vanessa Ramos

10 hilarious tweets from Ted Travelstead

Follow RIOT on Twitter

Liana Maeby grew up in Los Angeles and it has made her just as terrible as you'd expect. A graduate of USC's film school, she previously worked as an editor for, and has written for publications like Interview and The Village Voice. Her first book, a satirical work entitled "Earl Can Hurl (You Can Hurl Too)" written when she was eight, remains unpublished.