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  • G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero: The Complete Series

    Type: Event | Date: Tuesday, Nov 10, 2009

    Includes:G.I. Joe: Twenty Questions (1985) G.I. Joe: Eye For an Eye (1985) G.I. Joe: The Traitor, Part Two (1985) G.I. Joe: Skeleton in the Closet (1985) G.I. Joe: Countdown for Zartan (1985) G.I. Joe: No Place Like Springfield, Part Two (1985) G.I. Joe: No Place Like Springfield, Part One (1985) G.I. Joe: The Great Alaskan Land Rush (1985) G.I. Joe: The Invaders (1985) G.I. Joe: The Wrong Stuff (1985) G.I. Joe: The Pit of Vipers (1985) G.I. Joe: Memories of Mara (1985) G.I. Joe: Pyramid of Darkness, Part Three (1985) G.I. Joe: Pyramid of Darkness, Part Two (1985) G.I. Joe: Operation Mind Menace (1985) G.I. Joe: The Funhouse (1985) G.I. Joe: Cobra's Creatures (1985) G.I. Joe: Jungle Trap (1985) G.I. Joe: Cobra Stops the World (1985) G.I. Joe: Satellite Down (1985) G.I. Joe: Red Rocket's Glare (1985) G.I. Joe: Cobra Soundwaves (1985) G.I. Joe: Money to Burn (1985) G.I. Joe: Cobra's Candidate (1985) G.I. Joe: Lights! Camera! Cobra! (1985) G.I. Joe: The Phantom Brigade (1985) G.I. Joe: The Synthoid Conspiracy, Part Two (1985) G.I. Joe: The Synthoid Conspiracy, Part One (1985) G.I. Joe: Haul Down the Heavens (1985) G.I. Joe: The Greenhouse Effect (1985) G.I. Joe: Spell of the Siren (1985) G.I. Joe: The Viper is Coming (1985) G.I. Joe: The Germ (1985) G.I. Joe: The Battle for the Train of Gold (1985) G.I. Joe: Pyramid of Darkness, Part Four (1985) G.I. Joe: Pyramid of Darkness, Part One (1985) G.I. Joe: Lasers in the Night (1985) G.I. Joe: The Gamesmaster (1985) G.I. Joe: Where the Reptiles Roam (1985) G.I. Joe: Hearts and Cannons (1985) G.I. Joe: Flint's Vacation (1985) G.I. Joe: Primordial Plot (1985) G.I. Joe: The Gods Below (1985) G.I. Joe: Cobra CLAWs are Coming to Town (1985) G.I. Joe: Eau de Cobra (1985) G.I. Joe: Excalibur (1985) G.I. Joe: Bazooka Saw a Sea Serpent (1985) G.I. Joe: Cobra Quake (1985) G.I. Joe: Pyramid of Darkness, Part Five (1985) G.I. Joe: Cold Slither (1985) G.I. Joe: The Traitor, Part One (1985) G.I. Joe: Worlds Without End, Part Two (1985) G.I. Joe: Captives of Cobra, Part One (1985) G.I. Joe: Worlds Without End, Part One (1985) G.I. Joe: Captives of Cobra, Part Two (1985) G.I. Joe: Grey Hair and Growing Pains (1986) G.I. Joe: In the Presence of Mine Enemies (1986) G.I. Joe: Sins of Our Fathers (1986) G.I. Joe: Joe's Night Out (1986) G.I. Joe: Second Hand Emotions (1986) G.I. Joe: Nightmare Assault (1986) G.I. Joe: The Most Dangerous Thing in the World (1986) G.I. Joe: G.I. Joe and the Golden Fleece (1986) G.I. Joe: Ninja Holiday (1986) G.I. Joe: Arise, Serpentor, Arise!, Part Five (1986) G.I. Joe: Arise, Serpentor, Arise!, Part Four (1986) G.I. Joe: Arise, Serpentor, Arise!, Part Three (1986) G.I. Joe: Arise, Serpentor, Arise!, Part Two (1986) G.I. Joe: Arise, Serpentor, Arise!, Part One (1986) G.I. Joe: The Spy That Rooked Me (1986) G.I. Joe: Glamour Girls (1986) G.I. Joe: Cobrathon (1986) G.I. Joe: Sink the Montana (1986) G.I. Joe: Raise the Flagg! (1986) G.I. Joe: My Brother's Keeper (1986) G.I. Joe: Iceberg Goes South (1986) G.I. Joe: The Rotten Egg (1986) G.I. Joe: Million Dollar Medic (1986) G.I. Joe: Once Upon a Joe... (1986) G.I. Joe: Let's Play Soldier (1986) G.I. Joe: Computer Complications (1986) G.I. Joe: Last Hour to Doomsday (1986) G.I. Joe: My Favorite Things (1986) G.I. Joe: Into Your Tent I Will Silently Creep (1986) G.I. Joe: Not a Ghost of a Chance (1986) G.I. Joe: Twenty Questions The Joe team's war games are interrupted by Hector Ramirez, muckraking host of the TV series "Twenty Questions." Ramirez has brought along a peacenik named Arnold, who claims that the Joes are frauds who use the threat of Cobra attack as a means to cheat the American taxpayers. Hoping to prove Arnold wrong, Shipwreck conducts an unauthorized tour of the Joes' headquarters -- only to discover that Arnold is really the evil Baroness in disguise. Written by Buzz Dixon, "Twenty Questions" made its American TV debut on October 2, 1985. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: Eye For an Eye A fierce battle between the Cobras and the Joes has devastating consequences on a family of innocent bystanders. Though his loved ones are safe, Charles Fairmont is enraged over the destruction of his home. Invading the Joes' base in search of revenge, Fairmont finds an unexpected ally in the form of Lady Jaye, who feels personally responsible for the man's plight. Written by Steve Mitchell and Barbara Petty, "Eye for an Eye" made its American TV debut on November 8, 1985. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: The Traitor, Part Two In the conclusion of a two-part adventure, the Joes have rescued Dusty from prison, certain that his traitorous behavior was borne of desperation over the plight of his sick mother. But can Dusty be reformed, and will he prove a valuable member of the Joe team? Apparently not: When Cobra tries to test its new mind-control gas on the Joes, Dusty assists the villains every step of the way. Be assured, however, that the story is not quite over yet. Written by Buzz Dixon, part two of the "The Traitor" originally aired in America on November 26, 1985. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: Skeleton in the Closet Upon receiving an inheritance, Joe member Lady Jaye journeys to her ancestral home in Scotland. Feeling that something is amiss, LJ soon learns the awful truth: She is related to her longtime enemy Destro. The ensuing battle royal between the Joes and Cobras turns out to be the result of a carefully mapped scheme by another old enemy. A neat twist caps this episode, which was written by Flint Dille. "Skeleton in the Closet" first aired in America on December 11, 1985. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: Countdown for Zartan Zartan is hired by Cobra Commander to blow up a peace conference at World Wide Defense Center, thereby covering up secret information about Cobra's terrorist activities. Posing as a kidnapped French scientist, Zartan is exposed by Joe member Spirit -- who is promptly abducted by Storm Shadow. The other members of the Joe Team race against the clock to locate and disarm Zartan's bomb. Written by Christy Marx, "Countdown for Zartan" first aired in America on September 23, 1985. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: No Place Like Springfield, Part Two In the concluding chapter of a two-part story, Shipwreck finally realizes that his "new" life as a family man in the town of Springfield is actually a sham, created by Cobra to force him to reveal the deadly water-to-explosive formula locked in his subconscious. Rescued from madness by Polly, Shipwreck does his best to foil Cobra's plans -- if only he can locate the rest of the Joe Team. But there's a tragic price to pay for the good guys' ultimate victory. Written by Steve Gerber, "No Place Like Springfield, Pt. 2" first aired in America on December 13, 1985, as the final episode of G.I. Joe's first TV season. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: No Place Like Springfield, Part One In the first episode of a two-part adventure, Dr. Melany's new formula for changing water into explosive is planted in Shipwreck's subconscious -- and only Lady Jaye knows the code word that will release the formula. Upon awakening from an unusually deep sleep, Shipwreck discovers that several years have passed, and that his has settled down to a cozy domestic existence with his wife, Mara (formerly a mermaid), and his daughter. Slowly but surely, however, Shipwreck senses that something is not quite right about his new surroundings. Written by Steve Gerber, "No Place Like Springfield, Pt. 1" first aired in America on December 12, 1985. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: The Great Alaskan Land Rush Claiming to a have found a legal loophole in Seward's Alaskan purchase of 1867, Cobra and a shifty used car dealer named Gorgy Potemkin gain full control of Alaska. Their plans include using the 49th state as a power base to attack the rest of the world. Once again, the Joes join forces with the Soviet Oktober Guard to foil Cobra's scheme. Written by David Carren, "The Great Alaskan Land Rush" was first telecast in America on December 3, 1985. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: The Invaders Both the U.S. and the U.S.S.R. are held in thrall by an apparent alien invasion of Earth. It soon develops, however, that the "invasion" has been orchestrated by Cobra, as part of a scheme to destroy both Moscow and Washington and establish Cobra as the world's only superpower. This time around, the Joes are joined by their Soviet counterparts, the Oktober Guard, in thwarting the villain's plans. Written by Dennis O'Neil, "The Invaders" originally aired in America on November 29, 1985. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: The Wrong Stuff Could it be that writers Stanley Ralph Ross and Flint Dille had a certain Atlanta-based TV mogul in mind when they wrote this episode of G.I. Joe? On this occasion, Cobra removes all space satellites from orbit, the better to create a worldwide broadcasting monopoly, Cobra Network Television. By offering twisted "message" sitcoms like "Father's No Beast" and even (horrors!) changing the endings of classic old films, the CTN is aimed at controlling the minds of all earthlings -- or at least, all cable subscribers. "The Wrong Stuff" first aired in America on November 28, 1985. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: The Pit of Vipers The G.I. Joe team is placed under the command of the new super-computer Watchdog, which has ostensibly been designed to seek out Cobra targets. Little do the heroes realize that Watchdog has been created by the Cobras themselves, and is programmed to send the Joes far off the beaten track, leaving their headquarters vulnerable to Cobra's deadly Pit Viper attacks. James M. Ward wrote the script, from an original story by Flint Dille. "The Pit of Vipers" originally aired in the U.S. on November 27, 1985. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: Memories of Mara The titular Mara is a blue-skinned women whom we first see wearing a Cobra diving suit. Rescued by Joe Team member Shipwreck, Mara reveals that she is the half-human, half-fish result of a misfire Cobra experiment aimed at enabling humans to remain underwater indefinitely. With Mara's help, the Joes try to locate the U.S.S. Nerka, a submarine stolen by Cobra. Written by Sharman Di Vono, "Memories of Mara" first aired in the U.S. on November 15, 1985. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: Pyramid of Darkness, Part Three In the third episode of the five-part |Pyramid of Darkness, Joe Team members Lady Jaye, Flint, Shipwreck, and Snake Eyes have managed to escape the perils presented them in the previous episode, "Rendezvous in the City of the Dead." A new ally is introduced in the form of a sexy nightclub singer named Satin. Cobra functionary Zartan manages to activate the control cubes, setting off a chain events culminating in a dangerous encounter with killer seals on an iceberg. Written by Ron Friedman, "Three Cubes to Darkness" first aired in America on September 18, 1985. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: Pyramid of Darkness, Part Two In the second episode of the five-part |Pyramid of Darkness, the G.I. Joe team leads a counteroffensive against Cobra in hopes of regaining Space Station Delta. Joe members Shipwreck and Snake-Eyes are able to steal some of the all-important control cubes and a laser weapon, leading to a near-fatal escapade in a volcano called the Devil's Playground. Meanwhile, the dreaded Dreadnoks delighting in tormenting the captured Joes who have been forced into slave labor on Delta. Written by Ron Friedman, Rendezvous in the City of the Dead first aired in America on September 17, 1985. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: Operation Mind Menace Taking control of the minds of several innocent civilians, Cobra artificially expands their powers, organizing his captives into an offensive army. Among these new mind-slaves is Tommy, the brother of G.I. Joe team member Airborne. Racing to Tommy's rescue, Airborne and Flash soon find themselves in need of rescuing. Written by Martin Pasko, "Operation Mind Menace" made its American TV debut on October 15, 1985. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: The Funhouse Cobra makes no effort to hide the fact that it has kidnapped five of the world's top scientists. It is all part of Cobra Commander's scheme to wreak a terrible vengeance on the G.I. Joe team. Lured to a South American island, the Joes find themselves at the mercy of Cobra's booby traps in a simulated funhouse -- and never have a rollercoaster and shooting gallery seemed more sinister. Written by Steve Mitchell and Barbara Petty, "The Funhouse" first aired in the U.S. on October 1, 1985. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: Cobra's Creatures This time, Cobra has gotten hold of a device called Hi-Freq, invented by one Dr. Lucifer. The device enables the villains to gain mind control over all the animals of the world. To test Hi-Freq, Cobra kidnaps G.I. Joe team members Mutt, Junkyard. and Ripcord as human guinea pigs. Meanwhile, the other Joes try to win over Dr. Lucifer by having Lady Jaye pose as the scientist's sweetheart, Dr. Attila. Written by Kimmer Ringwald, "Cobra's Creatures" made its first American TV appearance on September 30, 1985. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: Jungle Trap In its efforts to harness the raw energy supplies in the center of the earth, Cobra kidnaps eminent scientist Dr. Shakoor. Forced to do Cobra's bidding, Shakoor devises the awesome Vulcan Machine. Meanwhile, the G.I. Joe team endeavors to rescue the missing scientist -- a task comparable to finding a needle in the world's largest haystack. Written by future Batman: The Animated Series maven Paul Dini, "Jungle Trap" originally aired in America on September 27, 1985. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: Cobra Stops the World Cobra attempts to gain control of the world's fuel supplies so that the leaders of Earth will knuckle under to his demands. With each passing hour, Cobra utilizes his weaponry to destroy another oil tanker. The G.I. Joe teams races against the clock to track down the source of the destruction, and in the process, team members Duke and Ace find themselves imprisoned in an all-but-impenetrable jungle. Written by Steve Gerber, "Cobra Stops the World" first aired in America on September 26, 1985. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: Satellite Down Breaker manages to force a G.I. Joe spy satellite stolen by Cobra to crash somewhere in the African jungle. Both the Joe and Cobra teams race into unchartered territory to recover the satellite, only to discover that the device has been adopted as a "god" by a lost tribe called the Primords. This episode contains a cute closing gag involving the Primords' reaction to that demon machine known as Television. Written by Ted Pederson, "Satellite Down" first aired in the U.S. on September 25, 1985. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: Red Rocket's Glare Extensive Enterprises, a front organization for Cobra, uses a vicious gang of bikers to force the owners of the Red Rocket Drive-Thru Diners to sell out at bargain-basement prices. It is the first step in a scheme to install sophisticated anti-personnel weapons throughout the country. But Cobra has not taken into consideration the G.I. Joe team -- specifically, team member Roadblock, whose aunt and uncle own one of the beleaguered Red Rocket restaurants. Written by Mary Skrenes, "Red Rocket's Glare" originally aired in the U.S. on September 24, 1985. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: Cobra Soundwaves This time, Cobra has gotten hold of an anti-aircraft gun which emits sonic waves for sinister purposes. Acting quickly, the villains threaten to use the weapon to destroy the oil resources of a Middle Eastern nation. But the G.I. Joe team has likewise swung into action, and they're not about to be "soundly" beaten by the Cobra forces. Written by Ted Pederson, "Cobra Soundwaves" originally aired in America on October 17, 1985. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: Money to Burn Cobra destroys America's economy by vaporizing all of the country's money. He then takes steps to gain complete control by distributing his own personalized currency. To counteract this financial disaster, G.I. Joe team member Lady Jaye poses as Cobra's filthy-rich "client" Gloria Vonderhoss. Making its first American television appearance on October 14, 1985 (a few weeks later in some local markets), "Money to Burn" was written by Roger Slifer. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: Cobra's Candidate In the midst of a heated political campaign, Cobra Commander hopes to sway voters to his handpicked candidate, Robert Harper, by casting Harper in the role of persecuted underdog. To that end, Cobra enlists the aid of a tough street gang, who stages riots which appear to be the handiwork of Harper's opponent, Whittier Greenway. The plan is foiled when a hitherto unsupsected link between the street gang and the G.I. Joe team is revealed. Written by Gordon Kent, "Cobra's Candidate" originally aired in the U.S. on October 11, 1985. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: Lights! Camera! Cobra! Several of the G.I. Joe team's more contentious members are hired as technical advisors for the Hollywood epic "The G.I. Joe Story." Striving for realism, the producers have stored several authentic Joe and Cobra weapons in their prop shed, including a genuine Cobra Firebat plane. In his efforts to steal the plane, Cobra commander must rely upon the mercurial Destro and the unpredictable Dreadnoks. The story outcome is determined by the studio's crack team of special effects wizards. Written by Buzz Dixon, "Lights! Camera! Cobra!" first aired in the U.S. on October 10, 1985. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: The Phantom Brigade Cobra Commander uses an elderly gypsy woman to conjure up three dangerous ghosts: a Roman legionnaire, a Mongol warrior, and an American WWI flying ace. He then sends them into battle against the G.I. Joe team, secure in the knowledge that phantoms can't be killed or injured. The Joes attempt to mount a counteroffensive by appealing to the dormant patriotism of the American ghost. Written by Sharman Di Vono, "The Phantom Brigade" originally aired in America on October 9, 1985. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: The Synthoid Conspiracy, Part Two In the conclusion of a two-part story, Cobra has managed to cut off funding for the G.I. Joe team with the use of his Synthoids, humanlike creatures programmed to do the villains' bidding. Even worse, Joe member Duke has been replaced by his Synthoid clone. Managing to escape Cobra's clutches, Duke links up with his fellow Joes in an effort to stem the Synthoid invasion -- receiving unexpected assistance in the form of the evil Destro, who is again locked in a power struggle with his Cobra bosses. Written by Christy Marx, "The Synthoid Conspiracy, Pt. 2" first aired in America on October 8, 1985. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: The Synthoid Conspiracy, Part One In the first episode of a two-part story, Cobra infiltrates the committee responsible for funding the activities of the G.I. Joe team. The villains replace several key members with lookalike Synthoid, which have been programmed to bend exclusively to Cobra's will. Not only do the Joes lose their financial base, but to make matters worse, team member Duke is likewise replaced by a lookalike Synthoid. Written by Christy Marx, "The Synthoid Conspiracy, Pt. 1" first aired in America on October 7, 1985. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: Haul Down the Heavens Cobra encamps itself at the North Pole, the better to use the powerful Ion Attractor to melt the polar ice cap and upset the ecological balance of the earth. To prevent this, G.I. Joe team members Flint, Lady Jaye, and Snow Job, together with a group of scientists, head to the Arctic, only to find out that the villains are more than prepared for such a counteroffensive. The episode's highlight is Lady Jaye's tone-deaf rendition of the U.S. Marine Hymn. Written by television cartoon veteran Buzz Dixon, "Haul Down the Heavens" originally aired in America on October 4, 1985. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: The Greenhouse Effect A non-polluting rocket fuel that causes plants to grow to enormous size is stolen by a member of the Crimson Guards. Chortling in glee, Cobra leader Destro plans to use the fuel to create an army of killer plants. The episode's climax is a bizarre, gargantuan "food fight" between the Cobras and the G.I. Joe team. Written by Gordon Kent, "The Greenhouse Effect" made its first American TV appearance on October 3, 1985. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: Spell of the Siren The Baroness hatches another scheme to take over Cobra. Her first step is to harness the power of the Conch of the Siren to hypnotize the male team members of both the Cobras and the Joes. Inevitably, it is up to the female Joes -- and a few stray unaffected males who had been off base during the Siren's aural assault -- to rescue their comrades. Written by Gerry and Carla Conway, "Spell of the Siren" was first broadcast in America on October 25, 1985. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: The Viper is Coming Responding to what they think are cryptic challenges from Cobra, the G.I. Joe team, led by Barbecue, heads to various parts of the world, armed for battle. Only after the dust is settled do they realize that it's all a false alarm. The climax of David Carren's teleplay was obviously inspired by one of the oldest and most familiar schoolyard jokes in academic history. "The Viper Is Coming" originally aired in America on October 24, 1985. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: The Germ A member of the Crimson Guard steals a vial containing Bacteria X. The usual red tape delays delivery of this vial to Destro. In the meantime, the Bacteria X is accidentally mixed with a new growth serum, resulting in a huge, gelatine monstrosity. The G.I. Joe team tries to destroy this hideous new threat, only to succeeding in doubling the danger at hand. Roger Slifer's script is a sly parody of the classic horror cheapie The Blob -- and what an ending! "The Germ" originally aired in America on October 23, 1985. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: The Battle for the Train of Gold Stealing a cassette containing the blueprints of Fort Knox, Cobra concocts a scheme to rob the gold treasury. At the behest of the Bureau of Engraving, the G.I. Joe team works undercover and awaits Cobra's inevitable strike. Though the villains succeed in disabling the Joes' vehicles and weapons, the good guys are able to borrow several of Kentucky's best thoroughbred racing horses during the final counteroffensive. Written by David Carren, "The Battle for the Train of Gold" first aired in America on October 16, 1985. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: Pyramid of Darkness, Part Four In the fourth episode of the five-part |Pyramid of Darkness, Bazooka and Alpine are rescued by martial artist Quick-Kick, who is prompted recruited into the G.I. Joe team. Continuing in their efforts to regain control of Space Station Delta from Cobra, the Joes end up in a graveyard of sunken ships called the Sea of Lost Souls. Unfortunately, the Cobra team manages to retrieve all four of the elusive control cubes, enabling them to form the all-powerful Pyramid which will give Cobra absolute control of the world -- and the means to destroy G.I. Joe once and for all. Written by Ron Friedman, "Chaos in the Sea of Lost Souls" first aired in America on September 19, 1985. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: Pyramid of Darkness, Part One Two years after the introductory cartoon miniseries G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero and one year after the following miniseries G.I. Joe: The Revenge of Cobra, the daily animated G.I. Joe series proper commenced with part one of the five-episode adventure |Pyramids of Darkness. The opening chapter, "The Further Adventures of G.I. Joe," was written by Ron Friedman, and was seen in most American markets on September 16, 1985. Things get off to a rousing start as the evil organization Cobra gains control of the G.I. Joe team's Delta space station, using Delta's weapon system to attack Joe headquarters and jam all of earth's electrical devices. Crucial to the action are four control cubes, which when placed in alignment create an all-powerful Pyramid, with which Cobras hopes to rule the world. "The Further Adventures of G.I. Joe" includes such trapping as a wild chase through Enterprise City and a flock of tribble-like creatures called the Fatal Fluffies, who can turn really bad in the wrong hands. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: Lasers in the Night Cobra Commander draws up plans to steal the G.I. Joe team's new laser device. The theft is not so much for power as for ego; the Commander intends to create a monument to himself on the Moon. Meanwhile, a romance develops between Quick-Kick and pretty Joe Team trainee Amber, who, predictably, ends up being used as a pawn by the villains. Written by Marv Wolfman, "Lasers in the Night" was originally telecast in America on October 22, 1985. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: The Gamesmaster G.I. Joe team members Lady Jaye and Flint, together with their deadly rivals Cobra Commander and the Baroness, are captured en masse by a looney named the Gamesmaster. The four enemies must join forces to stay alive during a (literal) manhunt on Gamesmaster's gadget-laden private island, which looks deceptively like a huge amusement park. Flint Dille's teleplay was obviously inspired by the classic Richard Connell short story The Most Dangerous Game. "The Gamesmaster" originally aired in the U.S. on October 21, 1985. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: Where the Reptiles Roam A dude ranch in Western Texas is purchased by one of Cobra's dummy corporations. G.I. Joe team member Wild Bill and his friends now have their hands full trying to keep Cobra from gaining control of the solar energy farm next door to the ranch. When Cobra's weapons prove too powerful, Wild Bill cannily relies upon the unharnessed energy of a good old-fashioned cattle stampede. Written by Gerry and Carla Conway, "Where the Reptiles Roam" first aired in the U.S. on October 18, 1985. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: Hearts and Cannons G.I. Joes Footloose and Dusty infiltrate Cobra's desert base, where captured scientist Dr. Nancy Winters is being forced to work on a powerful new Plasma Cannon Tank. Rescuing Nancy, the two Joes spend as much time vying for her affections as they do preventing Cobra from putting the Tank into operation. And what about that contentious local character named Jabal? Scripted by Alfred A. Pegel and Larry Houston from a story by Pegel, "Hearts and Cannons" was first broadcast in America on November 14, 1985. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: Flint's Vacation Joe Team member Flint heads to the new housing project of Please Cove, hoping to spend some quality time with his cousin's family. He soon discovers that the project's inhabitants have been brainwashed and enslaved by Cobra -- and the dreaded Drednoks have been pressed into service as the local police force. Beth Bornstein's teleplay cleverly redefines the old sci-fi film classic Invasion of the Body Snatchers in TV-cartoon terms. "Flint's Vacation" was first telecast in America on November 13, 1985. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: Primordial Plot Cobra steals a cache of petrified bones, then kidnaps cloning expert Dr. Massey. The result is a newly hatched crop of deadly dinosaurs, which even the Joes are at a loss to contain. And remember, folks, this was several years before the release of Spielberg's Jurassic Park. "Primordial Plot" was written by Donald F. Glut, one of the finest science fiction purveyors working in television. The episode originally aired in America on November 12, 1985. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: The Gods Below Once again, Cobra Commander is in need of quick cash to finance his world-domination scheme. To that end, the Commander lures the Joes into a treasure hunt at the newly excavated tomb of Osiris in Egypt. Things get complicated when the Joes and scientist Dr. Marsh are confronted by the evil Egyptian God Set, who sends them hurtling into the Realm of the Dead. Written by Gordon Kent, "The Gods Below" first aired in America on November 11, 1985. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: Cobra CLAWs are Coming to Town Christmas is coming and the Joes take upon themselves to distribute used toys to needy children. Unfortunately, the toy supply is infiltrated by Cobra's troops, who have been shrunken to action-figure size. In this reduced state, the villains contrive to sway public sentiment against the good-guy Joes. When all is said and done, however, this episode exists primarily to introduce Hasbro's latest line of G.I. Joe toy products. Scripted by Carla and Gerry Conway from a story by Roy and Dan Thomas, "Cobra CLAWs are Coming to Town" originally aired in America on November 7, 1985. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: Eau de Cobra The title of this G.I. Joe episode refers to a new brand of perfume, sweet to the smell, but devastating in its effect. The Baroness hopes to ensnare wealthy shipowner Socrates Arties by applying the perfume, which turns males into mind slaves. Alas, the ensuing passions get wildly out of control, thanks to a jealous Destro. Written by Flint Dille, "Eau de Cobra" made its first American TV appearance on November 6, 1985. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: Excalibur Crash-landing in England's Lake District, Storm Shadow recovers the long-lost Sword Excalibur. This arouses the interest of Destro, who begins laying plans to seize the sword for his own use. Meanwhile, the Joes attempt to forestall future Cobra attacks on England, a task made difficult by the country's habitually unpredictable weather. Written by Dan DiStefano, "Excalibur" first aired in America on November 1, 1985. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: Bazooka Saw a Sea Serpent Cobra has developed a mechanical sea serpent, which grows in size each time it devours a ship. Unfortunately, the villains lose control of the metallic monstrosity. Swallowing Cobras and Joes alike, the renegade serpent starts making a beeline for helpless New York City. Beany and Cecil this isn't! Written by Mary Skenes, "Bazooka Saw a Sea Serpent" was first telecast in America on October 31, 1985 -- perfect timing for a Halloween prank. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: Cobra Quake A new technology has been developed to stop earthquakes before they begin. Cobra reverses that technology, intending to wreak havoc at a Third World Council peace conference in Japan. Assigned to guard the delegates, the Joes end up in a desperate search for Cobra's booby traps in three different, far-flung locations. Written by Ted Pederson, "Cobra Quake" made its first American TV appearance on October 28, 1985. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: Pyramid of Darkness, Part Five In the concluding episode of the five-part Pyramid of Darkness, Cobra has successfully assembled the Pyramid, which will give them absolute and unquestioned power over the world. Fortunately, the G.I. Joe team manages to escape Cobra's clutches, bearing up against all manner of deadly devices, including an immobilizing heat beam. As the episode races to a conclusion, the viewer is never entirely certain who will emerge triumphant (hint: the coda finds the villains in their characteristic "It's all your fault" mode). Written by Ron Friedman, "Knotting Cobra's Coils" first aired in America on September 20, 1985. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: Cold Slither The Cobra Commander makes a startling discovery: He can no longer continue his efforts to rule the world because he is flat broke. Hoping to raise money in a hurry, the Commander utilizes the "hidden persuasion" method by hiring Zartan and the Drednoks to pose as musicians, then inserts mind-control messages in the music in order to enslave the group's fans. Alas, even three Joe members fall victim to the booby-trapped tunes. Something of a self-parody, this G.I. Joe episode was written by Charles Michael Hill. Though filmed as the final episode of season one, "Cold Slither" was telecast on December 2, 1985, long before the season finale. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: The Traitor, Part One In the first episode of a two-part story, a desperate Dusty is coerced into selling information about the G.I. Joes' new bullet-proof chemical armor protection. The recipient of this top-secret information is Cobra, who has promised to pay the medical bills for Dusty's ailing mother. Arrested for treason, Dusty is sprung from prison by the Joes themselves, who believe that extenuating circumstance and not treachery motivated the prisoner's rash actions. But is Dusty genuinely a victim of circumstance, or a villain in disguise? Written by Buzz Dixon, part one of "The Traitor" first aired in America on November 25, 1985. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: Worlds Without End, Part Two In the conclusion of the two-part "Worlds Without End," Joe team members Flint, Lady Jaye, Airtight, Grunt, Clutch, and Steeler are still trapped in a parallel Earth, still at the mercy of the conquering Cobras. The Joes receive unexpected help from their old nemesis the Baroness -- who has been reinvented as a "good guy," in love with Steeler. Adopting a divide-and-conquer approach, the Baroness and the Joes foment a Cobra civil war. When the dust settles, three of the Joes choose to remain in the parallel world to continue fighting the good fight on behalf of their new confreres. Written by Martin Pasko, part two of "Worlds Without End" first aired in America on November 5, 1985. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: Captives of Cobra, Part One In the first episode of a two-part story, Cobra kidnaps the family members of the G.I. Joe team, including the parents of Quick Kick, Thunder, and Scarlett. Using mind control, the villains turn their captives against the Joes. It is all part of a scheme to steal some highly explosive crystals created by a misfire chemical reaction. First telecast in America on October 29, 1985, part one of "Captives of Cobra" was written by G.I. Joe stalwart Christy Marx. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: Worlds Without End, Part One In this first episode of a two-part adventure, Joe team members Flint, Lady Jaye, Airtight, Grunt, Clutch, and Steeler try to recover a matter transmutor stolen by the Dreadnoks. When the device is accidentally triggered, the Joes are hurled into a bizarre parallel world. Upon getting their bearings, they discover that, in this particular world, the Cobras have emerged triumphant over the Joes -- and the Drednoks are now the police force. Written by Martin Pasko, part one of "Worlds Without End" first aired in America on November 4, 1985. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: Captives of Cobra, Part Two In the conclusion of a two-part story, several family members of the G.I. Joe team are still being held prisoner by Cobra, who hope to use their captives to retrieve some dangerously explosive chemicals. Team member Scarlett is able to rescue some of the captives -- who, because their minds have been enslaved by Cobra, prove to be almost as dangerous as their captors. Meanwhile, the villains overreach themselves by attempting to nab the extremely self-reliant family of Joe member Gung Ho. Written by Christy Marx, part two of "Captives of Cobra" was originally telecast in America on October 30, 1985. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: Grey Hair and Growing Pains Serpentor steals Madame Versailles' special formula for making people younger -- or, if used improperly, making them older. Intending to exploit the treatment for his own evil purposes, Serpentor is unwittingly helped along by the vanity of Mme. Versailles' commercial spokespersons. In the course of events, three of the Joes age 50 years, another three team members regress into childhood, and Zarina and Mainframe stage a deadly confrontation. Written by Dave Marconi and Flint Dille, "Grey Hair and Growing Pains" first aired in America on October 14, 1986. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: In the Presence of Mine Enemies Joe Team member Slip Stream finds himself stranded on a monster-infested island with a beautiful female StratoViper named Raven. At first, the two natural enemies devote their energies to wiping one another out. But Raven changes her mind when she discovers that she has been set up as a "dead duck" by her leader, the Cobra Commander. Written by Chris Weber and Karen Wilson, "In the Presence of Mine Enemies" originally aired in America on November 19, 1986, as the final second-season episode of G.I. Joe. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: Sins of Our Fathers Dismissed from the Joe Team, Dial-Tone is unwittingly plunked in the middle of another power struggle between Cobra Commander and Serpentor. The action shifts to Scotland, ending up at Destro's ancestral castle. Both Joes and Cobras are forced to fight side by side when they are threatened by a horrible monster, summoned from the past. Scripted by Buzz Dixon from a story by Steve Gerber, "Sins of Our Fathers" first aired in America on November 18, 1986. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: Joe's Night Out Three of the Joes -- Wet Suit, Leatherneck, and Dial-Tone -- accompany their dates to the opening of a trendy new night club. They are subsequently abducted along with all the other patrons when the "club" turns out to be a rocket in disguise, courtesy of Cobra. Hurled into deep space, the hostages will be returned only on condition that research scientist Dr. Melany assist Cobra in developing a powerful new plane engine. First broadcast in America on November 10, 1986, "Joe's Night Out" was written by David Schwartz. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: Second Hand Emotions Dr. Mindbender and Serpentor develop an electronic organ capable of manipulating emotions. The villains play the organ at the wedding of LifeLine's sister, hoping thereby to force the Joe Team members into destroying themselves. Something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue (blew up, that is). Written by Carla and Gerry Conway, "Second Hand Emotions" made its first U.S. television appearance on October 31, 1986. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: Nightmare Assault The latest Cobra device for deviltry is something called the Somulator. Deploying this device, Dr. Mindbender is able to enter and alter the dreams of the Joe Team members, causing horrible nightmares which result in carelessness and a drop in morale. But the "good" doctor himself falls victim to LowLife's all-too-vivid nightmare, consisting of the combined dreams of the other Joes. Written by Marv Wolfman, "Nightmare Assault" originally aired in America on October 30, 1986. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: The Most Dangerous Thing in the World During General Hawk's absence, Cobra wreaks havoc upon the Joe's computer system. As a result, the troublesome Shipwreck, LifeLine, and Dial-Tone are promoted to the rank of General. Needless to say, the trio is hardly officer material, and it is up to Hawk to undo the ensuing damage -- and to save the weakened Joe force from an all-out Cobra attack. Written by Buzz Dixon, "The Most Dangerous Thing in the World" first aired in America on October 29, 1986. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: G.I. Joe and the Golden Fleece At the Suez Canal, the Cobras attempt to recover a valuable golden coil from the wreckage of a crashed UFO. They are confronted by the Joes, and in the ensuing struggle a laser beam is accidentally triggered. Within seconds, Joes and Cobras alike a hurtled back in time to ancient Greece, where they are welcomed and worshipped as gods. Scripted by Richard Merwin from a story by Flint Dille, "G.I. Joe and the Golden Fleece" first aired in the U.S. on October 27, 1986. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: Ninja Holiday Attending a martial arts competition, Joe Team member Sgt. Slaughter is "chosen" by a group of sinister ninjas for a special assignment. Unwillingly submitting himself to rigorous training, Sarge discovers that he has been selected to assassinate Cobra Emperor Serpentor. During the climactic chase, the Joe team faces opposition from a variety of martial-arts experts, many of whom are dressed like Village People rejects! Written by Michael Charles Hill, "Ninja Holiday" originally aired in the U.S. on October 22, 1986. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: Arise, Serpentor, Arise!, Part Five In the concluding chapter of a five-part adventure, the worst has happened: Dr. Mindbender has successfully melded the DNA of several past conquerors into a single, super-powered Cobra Emperor named Serpentor. Fortunately, Sgt. Slaughter and the rest of the G.I. Joe team manage to escape their Cobra captors and to mount a counteroffensive. Without giving away the ending, it can be noted that enough Joe and Cobra members are left standing to populate the subsequent episodes of G.I. Joe's second TV season. Written by Buzz Dixon, "Arise, Serpentor, Arise!, Pt. 5" first aired in America on September 19, 1986. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: Arise, Serpentor, Arise!, Part Four In the fourth chapter of a five-part adventure, Cobra has successfully captured several members of the new G.I. Joe team. Dr. Mindbender is now certain that he can continue his plans to create a powerful Cobra Emperor named Serpentor unimpeded. Altering his scheme a bit, Mindbender is now determined to use Sgt. Slaughter's DNA in the creation process. Written by Buzz Dixon, "Arise, Serpentor, Arise!, Pt. 4" first aired in America on September 18, 1986. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: Arise, Serpentor, Arise!, Part Three In the third chapter of a five-part adventure, the Joes run into danger in all corners of the world. Beach Head and Mainframe encounter trouble at Dracula's castles; Duke is jeopardized at Genghis Khan's tomb; Shipwreck is nearly scuttled at Alexander the Great's underwater crypt; and Sgt. Slaughter is captured near Sun Tzu's burial mound. On the "plus" side, the Joes finally discover that Cobra intends to use the DNA from past conquerors to create an omnipotent Cobra Emperor named Serpentor. Written by Buzz Dixon, "Arise, Serpentor, Arise!, Pt. 3" first aired in America on September 17, 1986. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: Arise, Serpentor, Arise!, Part Two In the second chapter of a five-part adventure, the new G.I. Joe team scurries all over the world, trying to prevent Cobra from raiding the sacred resting places of such past leaders as Napoleon, Alexander the Great, and Ivan the Terrible. The heroes run into a great deal of interference, not only from Cobra but also from local politicians and bureaucrats. Meanwhile, Dr. Mindbender begins the process of assembling the new, all-powerful Cobra Emperor Serpentor. Written by Buzz Dixon, "Arise, Serpentor, Arise!, Pt. 2" first aired in America on September 16, 1986. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: Arise, Serpentor, Arise!, Part One Season two of G.I. Joe was launched in America on September 15, 1986, with the first episode of the five-part adventure |Arise, Serpentor, Arise. Fed up with Cobra Commander's bungling, Dr. Mindbender decides to create a new, all-powerful Cobra Emperor, using the DNA of such past conquerers as Napoleon, Genghis Khan, Alexander the Great, Ivan the Terrible, and Sun Tzu. It is up to the brand-new G.I. Joe team to stop Mindbender in his tracks, but first, they have to figure out exactly what he is up to. "Arise, Serpentor, Arise!, Pt. 1" was written by Buzz Dixon. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: The Spy That Rooked Me Also known as "The Spy Who Rooked Me," this episode focuses on a world-famous, Bond-like secret agent named Matthew Burke. After rescuing Joe team members Flint, Lady Jaye, Dial-Tone, and Cross-Country, Burke agrees to help them deliver some deadly nerve gas -- and, incidentally, to elude the diabolical Dr. Mindbender. Alas, Burke is so wrapped up in his own mistake that he nearly messes up the mission. Written with tongue firmly in cheek by Susan K. Williams, "The Spy That Rooked Me" originally aired in America on October 13, 1986. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: Glamour Girls Desperately desiring eternal youth, Madame Veil relies upon the sinister resourcefulness of Cobra. The villains kidnap dozens of beautiful fashion models, intending to tap their youthfulness on behalf of Mme. Veil. The Joes go to the rescue, receiving unexpected help from one of the abducted models: Lowlight's own sister Una. Beth Bornstein's teleplay is more than a little beholden to the Georges Franju horror film Eyes Without a Face, especially near the end of the story. "Glamour Girls" made its American TV debut on October 8, 1986. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: Cobrathon Cobra is in dire need of an expensive computer virus designed to cripple the records of law enforcement agencies throughout the world. But rather than pay for the device in the normal fashion, the villains choose to put on a pay-per-view telethon, staged in a hellish casino. In this perverse twist on the Jerry Lewis oeuvre, the telethon's "entertainment" includes the ritual torture of Joe members Sci-Fi and Lifeline. Written by Martin Pasko and Rebecca Parr, "Cobrathon" first aired in America on October 6, 1986. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: Sink the Montana The unexpected catalyst for this episode is Admiral George Lattimer of the U.S. Navy. Unwilling to allow his beloved USS Montana to be scrapped, the admiral joins force with Cobra's Destro turns against the United States. The Joes must prevent Lattimer from using his obsolete but still-deadly battleship from destroying the entire Atlantic Fleet. Written by David Carren, "Sink the Montana" first aired in America on September 29, 1986. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: Raise the Flagg! The Joes and the Cobras race against other to salvage the remains of the sunken aircraft carrier U.S.S. Flagg. The Joes get to the wreckage first, only to discover it is inhabited by a demented Cobra chef. In addition to deadly gastronomic efforts, the Joes must also contend with some BATs and an antimatter energy pod. Written by David Carren, "Raise the Flagg!" made its first American TV appearance on October 20, 1986. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: My Brother's Keeper Wheelchair-bound physicist Jeremy Penser allows himself to be duped by Cobra. In exchange for regaining the use of his legs, Dr. Penser agrees to help develop Cobra's latest weapon of destruction. So blindsided does Penser become that he nearly seals the doom of his own younger brother Timothy -- not to mention practically every member of the G.I. Joe team. Written by Buzz Dixon, "My Brother's Keeper" originally aired in America on October 15, 1986. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: Iceberg Goes South Joe Team member Iceberg visits his girlfriend, Mahia, at her uncle's "Tropodome," a tropical biodome. Little does he suspect that Cobra's Dr. Mindbender is using the building as headquarters for his latest batch of diabolical genetic experiments. By the time the rest of the Joes show up, Iceberg has been converted into a hideous mutant. Written by Mary Skrenes, "Iceberg Goes South" first aired in America on October 9, 1986. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: The Rotten Egg Invited to be the guest of honor at a military academy, Leatherneck discovers that the institution is under the command of Cobra. Worse still, the head of the academy is a fugitive criminal named McCann -- who, as a raw Marine grunt, had been trained by Leatherneck at Parris Island. Seeking revenge for being booted from the service, Leatherneck is determined to use his own military strategy to destroy his former mentor. Written by Steve Mitchell and Barbara Petty, "The Rotten Egg" originally aired in America on October 7, 1986. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: Million Dollar Medic LifeLine rescues Bree Van Mark, daughter of a wealthy industrialist, from a watery grave. To show her gratitude, Bree showers the reluctant LifeLine with expensive gifts -- including a gold-plated helicopter. Inevitably, the girl becomes a pawn in the latest Cobra scheme. Celebrated cartoon voice-over director Susan Blu is heard as Bree. Written by Carla and Gerry Conway, "Million Dollar Medic" first aired in America on October 2, 1986. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: Once Upon a Joe... During a pitched battle between the Cobras and the Joes, an orphanage is accidentally destroyed, though the children emerge unscathed. As a new building is constructed, Shipwreck tries to keep the kids entertained, all the while endeavoring to prevent Zartan from recovering a lost Cobra weapon, the mysterious McGuffin Device (scriptwriter Buzz Dixon certainly knows his Hitchcock). The plot is partially resolved by orphan girl Jenny, who in many respects is quicker on the uptake than the Joes. "Once Upon a Joe..." originally aired in the U.S. on October 1, 1986. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: Let's Play Soldier In Bangkok, Leatherneck takes charge of four "dust children," street orphans fathered by American GIs. Meanwhile, Cobra tries to enslave the population of Thailand by distributing chewing gum laced with Dr. Mindbender's latest mind-paralysis drug. As if that wasn't enough of a complication, the duplicitous Zarana leads the G.I. Joe team into another trap. Written by Sharman Di Vono, "Let's Play Soldier" first aired in the U.S. on September 30, 1986. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: Computer Complications Cobra operative Zarana breaks into Joe headquarters, there to steal an antimatter deposit. Her plans are altered when she meets and falls in love with Joe team member Mainframes. Orders are orders, and Zarana has been ordered to kill Mainframe. David Schwartz's teleplay is chock-full of clever and unexpected plot twists. "Computer Complications" was first telecast in America on September 26, 1986. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: Last Hour to Doomsday Cobra's latest weapon is the Vortex Cone, which plays havoc with the ocean's magnetic currents to cause huge tidal waves all over the world. Thus armed, the Cobra leader threatens to wipe out the entire East Coast if his demands are not meant. In their efforts to foil the villains, the Joe Teams deploys such strategies as having Lady Jaye impersonate the Baroness. Written by Tom Degenais, "Last Hour to Doomsday" originally aired in America on September 25, 1986. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: My Favorite Things Serpentor leads a band of Cobras in stealing the historical relics which, when assembled, form the DNA for Serpentor's personality matrix. The villains' problem: They must wrest these relics away from the even nastier despots who currently possess them. Meanwhile, Joe team member Wet-Suit learns a valuable lesson about self-control -- and nearly meets disaster in the castle of the original Count Dracula. Written by Doug Booth, "My Favorite Things" originally aired in America on October 16, 1986. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: Into Your Tent I Will Silently Creep Joe team member Cross Country stumbles upon a Cobra slave labor camp. The captives are toiling on behalf of Cobra Commander, who needs enough money to thwart Serpentor's latest power play. The story's "maguffin" is a missing computer disk, over which a lot of fuss is stirred. Some good "mutant" character design and animation distinguishes this episode, which was written by Buzz Dixon and Michael Charles Hill. "Into Your Tent I Will Silently Creep" was the final episode of G.I. Joe, though not the final one to be telecast: Its original American air date was November 20, 1986. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide G.I. Joe: Not a Ghost of a Chance Three Cobra members go on Hector Ramirez's TV show "Twenty Questions," ostensibly to clear themselves of charges that he destroyed the prototype for a new stealth bomber. Meanwhile, the Joes try to rescue the bombers' missing pilots. Their efforts -- and the ultimate unmasking of Cobra as the scoundrels that they really are -- is almost undermined by Joe team member Flint's personal demons. Written by Sharmon Di Vono, "Not a Ghost of a Chance" was first telecast in America on November 13, 1986. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide
  • Mickey Rourke Star Collection

    Type: Event | Date: Tuesday, Nov 3, 2009

    Includes:The Pope of Greenwich Village (1984), MPAA Rating: R A Prayer for the Dying (1987), MPAA Rating: R The Desperate Hours (1990), MPAA Rating: R Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man (1991), MPAA Rating: R The Pope of Greenwich Village Set on the streets of New York's Little Italy, this dramatic series of character studies chronicles the lives and relationships between a disparate pair of Italian American cousins. Both of them want to leave the poverty of ghetto life, but each takes a dramatically different route when one of them joins the mob and the other accidentally impregnates his girlfriend. When the young gangster gets into deep trouble, the other must reevaluate his goals and his true feelings about his family. ~ Sandra Brennan, All Movie Guide A Prayer for the Dying A man struggling to escape the political unrest of Northern Ireland finds that his violent past still follows him in this drama. Martin Fallon (Mickey Rourke) is a terrorist with the Irish Republican Army who, while attempting to blow up a British military transport, accidentally bombs a bus full of schoolchildren. The incident haunts Fallon, who decides to quit the IRA and escape to London. Fallon wants to relocate to America, but he lacks a passport, and his criminal past would prevent him from getting one. Jack Meehan (Alan Bates), a British gangster who knows about Fallon's past, offers him a deal -- he can get Fallon the papers and the cash to go to America, but in return he must kill a man. A priest, Father De Costa (Bob Hoskins), witnesses Fallon committing the murder, and Fallon wants to find a way to keep De Costa quiet without putting more blood on his hands. The original director of A Prayer for the Dying, Franc Roddam, left the production midway through shooting due to disputes with the producers, and star Mickey Rourke later attempted to disassociate himself from the film. ~ Mark Deming, All Movie Guide The Desperate Hours The Desperate Hours directed by Michael Cimino, is an attempt to remake the Humphrey Bogart classic of the same name with indifferent results. Bosworth (Mickey Rourke), a brutal criminal on the run with his partners, takes over a house occupied by an unhappily married couple Nora (Mimi Rogers) and Tim (Anthony Hopkins) and their young son and daughter. Bosworth has escaped from jail with the help of his defense attorney Nancy Breyers (Kelly Lynch). The film focuses on the interactions of the family and Bosworth as he plans his escape to Mexico. Cimino wastes little time in developing the characters or explaining the implausible premise that Bosworth would chose an occupied house and hold an innocent family captive when the logical choice would be to lay low and wait for his chance to escape. Both Hopkins and Rourke, usually excellent actors, give wildly over-the-top performances, aided by the lurid, over-written dialogue of the screenplay and the badly paced, ill-conceived direction by Cimino, which instead of creating tension and suspense, simply confuses the already muddled and incomprehensible plot. The Desperate Hours is a pale example of the original with little to recommend it. ~ Linda Rasmussen, All Movie Guide Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man Mickey Rourke and Don Johnson star in this buddy-buddy futuristic action movie. Rourke is Harley Davidson, a biker with the Halloween-costume garb of a leather jacket, short haircut, earring, and a scar. Johnson joins Rourke in the trick-or-treating as Marlboro, an ex-rodeo rider wearing a cowboy hat, vest, and dilapidated boots. They hang out at a neighborhood bar. When they find that a collection of greedy bankers want to increase the bar's payments so it will be forced to close, the two decide to help the bar out of its financial straits by robbing the bank of $2.5 million in order to pay the inflated tab and keep the bar in business. Unfortunately for the boys, the bank deals in an illicit drug called "the dream," and when they rob the armored car, they
  • Lost Boys Film Collection - DVD

    Type: Event | Date: Tuesday, Sep 15, 2009

    Includes:The Lost Boys (1987), MPAA Rating: R Lost Boys: The Tribe (2008) The Lost Boys In this hit '80s hybrid of the horror movie and the teen flick, a single mom and her two sons become involved with a pack of vampires when they move into an offbeat Northern California town. Lucy (Dianne Wiest) and her sons, Michael (Jason Patric) and Sam (Corey Haim), move to Santa Carla to live with Lucy's lovable but curmudgeonly father (Barnard Hughes). Lucy gets a job from video store-owner Max (Edward Herrmann), then begins dating him, while Sam hangs out with Edward and Alan Frog (Corey Feldman and Jamison Newlander), a pair of vampire-obsessed comic-shop clerks. Soon Michael falls in with some actual vampires after becoming enamored of one of their victims: Star (Jami Gertz), a gypsy-like vixen who is trying to hold onto her humanity even though vampire leader David (Kiefer Sutherland) wants to play Peter Pan to her Wendy. When Michael visits the cavernous hangout of David and his cronies and unwittingly drinks from a wine bottle full of vampiric blood, he becomes an unwilling member of the bloodsucker biker gang. Soon, it's up to Sam and the Frog brothers to destroy David and his ilk without killing Michael and Star. Shot on location in the coastal California town of Santa Cruz and directed by Hollywood pro Joel Schumacher, The Lost Boys became a pop-culture phenomenon thanks to its attractive young stars, offbeat soundtrack, and hip, clever marketing campaign; the film's tagline -- "Sleep all day. Party all night. Never grow old. Never die. It's fun to be a vampire." -- perfectly captured its knowing mixture of attitude and gore. The effects team who transformed Sutherland and company into snarling blood-suckers would go on to provide equally gruesome effects for Blade, another revisionist vampire flick, more than a decade later. ~ Brian J. Dillard, All Movie Guide Lost Boys: The Tribe From Dusk Till Dawn 3 director P.J. Pesce takes the helm once again for this straight to video sequel concerning Nicole (Autumn Reeser), a young girl who falls in with a pack of vampire surfers after moving to the town of Trinidad, California with her brother Chris (Tad Hilgenbrink). Seduced by the charismatic leader of the fanged wave riders, the young innocent gradually discovers that there are forces in nature that could destroy everything she has ever cared for. ~ Jason Buchanan, All Movie Guide
  • Texas Chainsaw Massacre Film Collection - DVD

    Type: Event | Date: Tuesday, Sep 15, 2009

    Includes:The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003), MPAA Rating: R The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006), MPAA Rating: R The Texas Chainsaw Massacre One of the most infamous horror films of the 1970s is revisited in this remake produced by action-spectacle maven Michael Bay. In the summer of 1973, four teenagers -- Erin (Jessica Biel), Morgan (Jonathan Tucker), Kemper (Eric Balfour), and Andy (Mike Vogel) -- are driving through Texas on a road trip when they pick up a hitchhiker, Pepper (Erica Leerhsen), who is on her way to Mexico to score some dope. With Pepper adding to the party atmosphere, the other four decide to join her, but as they're passing through a small town in Travis County, they see a bloody and distraught girl (Lauren German) wandering by the side of the road, and after stopping to help her, they realize she's been involved in something horribly traumatic. As the kids try to help the girl piece together the story of what happened, they find themselves drawn into the web of a murderous family of subnormal cannibals. Inspired -- like the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Psycho, The Silence of the Lambs, and Deranged -- by the crimes of Wisconsin multiple murderer Ed Gein, this remake of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre also features narration by John Larroquette, who narrated the original film (it was his first screen credit), as well as supporting performances by R. Lee Ermey, Andrew Prine, and Andrew Bryniarski. ~ Mark Deming, All Movie Guide The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning Bear witness to the birth of the most horrifying legend in the history of cinema as director Jonathan Liebesman explores the nightmarish origins of the psychotic Hewitt family in this sequel to director Marcus Nispel's 2003 hit The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The year is 1969, and despite the fact that the Vietnam War is raging halfway across the globe, all is ominously quiet on the back roads of America. Eighteen-year-old Dean Hill (Taylor Handley) has just received his draft notice, and his older brother, Eric (Matthew Bomer), is determined to watch out for his younger sibling by ensuring that Dean enroll in the Marine Corps rather than risking his luck at the local induction center. Dean has other plans, though, and as soon as the pair and their girlfriends, Bailey (Diora Baird) and Chrissie (Jordana Brewster), return from their final fling in sunny Texas, he plans to confront his brother with the prospect of dodging the draft. When an unsettling encounter with malevolent bikers Holden (Lee Tergesen) and Alex (Cyia Batten) results in a serious car accident in which Chrissie is thrown from the vehicle, the arrival of Sheriff Hoyt (R. Lee Ermey) at first appears to be a moment of divine intervention. However, when Sheriff Hoyt murders thieving Alex in cold blood and then shepherds her friends into the back of his police cruiser as Chrissie watches from the brush, their momentary reprieve soon gives way to an unimaginable terror. As Hoyt transports her ailing friends to the Hewitt home, where a childlike man named Thomas is currently undergoing the transformation into cannibalistic madman Leatherface (Andrew Bryniarski), a desperate Chrissie attempts to enlist the aid of Holden in rescuing her friends from a fate worse than death. ~ Jason Buchanan, All Movie Guide
  • Billy Jack Collection

    Type: Event | Date: Tuesday, Aug 25, 2009

    Includes:The Born Losers (1967) Billy Jack (1971) The Trial of Billy Jack (1974), MPAA Rating: PG Billy Jack Goes to Washington (1977) The Born Losers One of the first recognizable "vigilante" films in American cinema, The Born Losers tells the story of Billy Jack (writer-director Tom Laughlin), a half-breed ex-Green Beret and Vietnam veteran who makes it his business to rescue a cute mod girl from a crew of vicious bikers. Much to his chagrin, however, he finds his lethal training gets him in as much trouble with the racist cops as with the bikers, and he soon becomes embroiled in a violent struggle against all parties involved. There is blood-letting and bone-breaking to burn in The Born Losers, not to mention lots of preaching on the part of Laughlin. However, it still tops the more famous sequel, Billy Jack, and it qualifies writer-director-star Laughlin for the status of true auteur. ~ Jeremy Beday, All Movie Guide Billy Jack Actor/auteur Tom Laughlin created the character of Billy Jack in the motorcycle flick The Born Losers. Wandering Christlike through the Southwest, Native American Vietnam veteran Billy Jack -- soft-spoken, but well-versed in martial arts -- champions the cause of a progressive school run by Jean Roberts (Delores Taylor, Laughlin's real-life wife). The bigoted white townsfolk don't cotton to Jean's minority-group students, so they do everything they can to humiliate and physically abuse the kids. When one of her charges is cruelly coated with white flour, Billy Jack goes berserk. Thus begins an orgy of self-righteous violence, culminating with our hero being hunted down on a murder charge. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide The Trial of Billy Jack After Billy Jack belatedly became a box-office smash two years after its original release and The Born Losers, the biker film in which Tom Laughlin created the Billy Jack character, had enjoyed a highly successful re-release, Tom Laughlin brought everyone's favorite martial arts hero turned Native American mystic back to the screen for a third go-round in The Trial of Billy Jack. As Billy Jack (Tom Laughlin) awaits trial for murder, Jean Roberts (Delores Taylor) continues to operate her "Freedom School" on an Indian reservation, where the student-operated television station comes under fire for airing a series of hard-hitting political exposes (just how an alternative school run by threadbare hippies obtained cameras, broadcasting equipment and an FCC license is not explained here). The attempts to silence the student journalists and run Billy Jack out of town lead to a deadly confrontation between the kids and the National Guard. Tom Laughlin wrote and directed The Trial of Billy Jack, though on-screen credit is given to his son, Frank Laughlin; similarly, Laughlin also directed the first two films under the name T.C. Frank. ~ Mark Deming, All Movie Guide Billy Jack Goes to Washington The fourth film starring Tom Laughlin as Billy Jack, Billy Jack Goes To Washington was a loose remake of Frank Capra's Mr. Smith Goes To Washington. The story begins with Billy receiving a pardon for the trumped-up charges that put him behind bars in The Trial Of Billy Jack. To curry favor with youth and minority voters, Billy is appointed to a vacant seat in the U.S. Senate. However, while Billy is told to not makes waves, he discovers Washington D.C. is a hotbed of rampant corruption, and he makes it his mission to bring honesty and justice back to our government. As with his other Billy Jack vehicles, Tom Laughlin wrote and directed the film as well as playing the title role; his wife Delores Taylor also appears again as Jean Roberts, and E.G. Marshall and Lucie Arnaz round out the supporting cast. Billy Jack Goes To Washington never received a theatrical release outside of a few scattered preview screenings, though Laughlin himself recently released the film on home video. ~ Mark Deming, All Movie Guide
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    Fanboys

    Type: Event | Date: Friday, Feb 6, 2009

    "Fanboys," the long-shelved comedy about a group of friends breaking into the Lucas Ranch, finally hits theaters
  • Veronica_mars_-_primer_home_top_story

    What you should know about the 'Veronica Mars' series so you can enjoy the movie

    Type: Post | Date: Thursday, Mar 13, 2014

    Catching up with this one should be fun for newcomers
  • True-detective-the-secret-fate-of-all-life_home_top_story

    Review: 'True Detective' - 'The Secret Fate of All Life'

    Type: Post | Date: Sunday, Feb 16, 2014

    Cohle and Hart close in on Ledoux, while the 2012 cops have tough questions for Cohle
  • Webjunkie_652_home_top_story

    Sundance Review: 'Web Junkie' explores Internet addiction in China

    Type: Post | Date: Monday, Jan 20, 2014

    Since we're all probably web junkies, this doc is pretty universal
  • Mobcity_burnsluke_652_home_top_story

    Interview: Jeffrey DeMunn and Jeremy Luke talk 'Mob City'

    Type: Post | Date: Tuesday, Dec 10, 2013

    A TV mobster and TV cop talk Darabont, noir and more
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