Cannes Film Festival 2013

Series premiere review: 'The River' - 'Magus/Marbeley': Beyond the valley of the dolls

Back-to-back episodes give a strong sense of what the horror series is about

<p>The cast of "The River" gets wet.</p>

The cast of "The River" gets wet.

Credit: ABC

"The River" just finished its two-hour premiere. I posted my review of the series yesterday, and I have a few specific thoughts on these two episodes coming up just as soon as the doll tree has friends in Sumatra...

ABC aired two episodes in part because they have a very limited window to get this season on and off the air before "Dancing with the Stars" returns (which is also why there will be fewer than 13 episodes this season, when that's usually the standard for a mid-season drama), but I also think the scheduling may have worked well as a sales tool.

With "Magus," you get the set-up, the characters and some scares in the back half as the Corpuseco wreaks havoc (and gives the series its first casualty in poor cameraman Sammy). There are hints of mythology in the footage they find of Emmet doing seemingly impossible things, and of Kurt the mercenary promising his true employers that if Emmet has found "The Source," he'll be taken out.

And then "Marbeley" gives you a sense of what the series will actually be like most weeks, with a largely standalone adventure once again proving the theory that creepy dolls are creepy. It's an hour that unfortunately puts a whole lot on Joe Anderson's shoulders as Lincoln, and I think he's one of the weaker links in the cast, but the story as a whole worked (and paid homage to "The Blair Witch Project" with the bit where they find themselves going in circles trying to get away from the creepy dolls).

I liked both of these hours (and found Lincoln less annoying as the show moved along), and now I'm curious what you all thought of them. Did the Monster of the Week action of "Marbeley" reassure you that the show can be entertaining even if it takes a long time to find Emmet, or did it feel like an unnecessary detour? Did you like Anderson any more than Dan or I did? Do you like the glimpses we get of the Cole family in their '80s and '90s glory years?

What did everybody else think?

Alan-sepinwall-sm
Alan Sepinwall
Sr. Editor, What's Alan Watching
Alan Sepinwall has been reviewing television since the mid-'90s, first for Tony Soprano's hometown paper, The Star-Ledger, and now for HitFix. His new book, "The Revolution Was Televised," about the last 15 years of TV drama, is for sale at Amazon. He can be reached at sepinwall@hitfix.com

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    dannyf

    I absolutely hated the first hour, and I say that as a big fan of horror and someone who was very excited about this show. I thought the documentary/found footage angle was poorly executed, the family/character drama was not compelling, and it burned through plot way too quickly to keep up with. They introduced the ghost/magic mumbo jumbo before I was on board with any part of the show, so I ended up rolling my eyes instead of going with it. The whole thing seemed cheesy and contrived, and the opposite of scary. I couldn't muster up the interest to get through episode two. Color me severely disappointed.

    February 8, 2012 at 12:05AM EST Reply to Comment
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      joel You forgot to mention cliche. Inanimate objects doing stuff: SCARY. Got it. People running in circles in the dark jungle/forest/swamp: SCARY. People being controlled by insects, channeling others, and then wildly convulsing: SCARY. Things making crazy animal noises and suddenly flying into stuff and breaking things, killing people: SCARY.

      Wow, haven't ever seen that before. ZZZzzzZZzzzz.

      February 9, 2012 at 2:42AM EST
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    Marc

    Horrible show! I can't believe anybody could get through one hour let alone two. Hated the characters, the plot, the shaky camera, everything.

    February 8, 2012 at 12:07AM EST Reply to Comment
    • Shaky camera was terrible. Blair Witch did that 10 years ago. moving on...

      February 8, 2012 at 12:49AM EST
    • Thrillhouse_talkback_profile

      Vaughn Because someone doing something once means it can never be done again? Give me a break.

      February 8, 2012 at 12:36PM EST
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      John J I hate kung fu movies because I saw one twenty years ago.

      February 8, 2012 at 1:38PM EST
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    Earl Sweatpants

    I agree about the "hand-held" camera stuff. I hate when I can't tell what's going on. I'll give it a shot, but it's already a tad too cheesy for my tastes.

    February 8, 2012 at 12:09AM EST Reply to Comment
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    J

    I want to like this! And will give it a couple more chances. But it has to get either smarter or more fun (preferably both) before it gets anywhere near "good." One of the great things about 'Lost' and the first season of 'American Horror Story' is how they managed to make the unexpected fulfilling; 'The River' trades heavily in announcing every obviousness as if it were a surprise (and then follows through with redundant dialogue).

    I like the concept. I'm not going to think too hard about the found footage format (except when the show refuses to let me forget it, by inanely bickering over matters of camerawork, or by conjuring explicit Blair Witchy moments). I have zero confidence anything interesting is ever going to emerge about any of these characters, and I wasn't impressed with any of the acting (I know Greenwood is capable of better, at least, so maybe there's hope for improvement across-the-board). But if the show can find fun/interesting ways for reality to break down as they approach "The Source"(*) and find less hamfisted ways of delivering its goods, I'll stick around until it gets where it's going.

    (*) Hopefully "The Source" is not a glowing carrot that fits into a magic hole in the center of the planet.

    February 8, 2012 at 12:19AM EST Reply to Comment
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      RP Yeah, this is where I am -- I want to like this show, but I wish it was a smarter. I liked the second hour A LOT mor ethan the first. As a general rule I usually don't like pilots because they try to jam too much in there, and this was definitely an example of them trying to set too much up while trying to make the ghost story too exciting to grab our attention. The pacing and the flashbacks and the development of the second episode was much better. More of that would be nice.

      February 8, 2012 at 12:45AM EST
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    JoLo

    I enjoyed both hours, but I found the darkness of the lighting to be too much. i know what they are going for, but I couldn't see a damn thing and the quick cuts were just a bit too quick. Especially in the first hour, when he first uncovers that coffin, i thought it looked like an aligator head, and then bam! the girl is getting shot out of the room and I didnt know what was going on

    February 8, 2012 at 12:25AM EST Reply to Comment
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      Chrissy The lighting was a bit difficult. I also found the sound problematic, particularly in the first hour. I know it's supposed to be found footage, but if I still need to be able to understand the actors when they're having a simple conversation. This was most problematic with Lincoln and the cameraman. There was one scene where Lincoln (already a bit marble-mouthed) is talking with a needle in his mouth that I just found a bit ridiculous. So, sound quality and also background noise; they might want to balance those things a bit better going forward.

      February 8, 2012 at 12:01PM EST
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    Ung

    It was okay. Not nearly as shaky as the detractors say on the internet, I swear there are too many 40 year old who want entire movies to be shot on a tripod. It's not 1978 anymore folks, get over it.

    Show's not that good though. CHeesy and obvious, and what makes found footage movies work for me are the pace (slower and allows for more build up of suspense) and lack of music makes it seem more real. This is just typical network tv horseshit.

    February 8, 2012 at 12:28AM EST Reply to Comment
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      JLPatt I'm 20 and I thought it was horribly shot. Just because it's "not 1978" doesn't give filmmakers the excuse to haphazardly throw the camera around in every direction imaginable without the slightest care for composition, audience immersion, or simple legibility. It's just obnoxious and is a sign of someone who doesn't know how to handle a camera.

      February 8, 2012 at 12:53AM EST
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      John J Well, that's the whole style of found footage, and I think it can be VERY immersive because it feels very immediate. Complaining abut composition in a show like this entirely misses the point, and I think you should just avoid found footage stuff altogether.

      February 8, 2012 at 10:20AM EST
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      joel @John J: Got a question for you. If you were running for you life, would you be looking through a camera? No. This is the problem with all "found footage." We're supposed to accept that A) there are a million stationary cameras placed with endless batteries and recording capabilities and B) that whomever is shooting will not stop until they're gutted and dragged away by the whatever.

      This style works fine for sitcoms like The Office, but it completely falls apart when a small group of people are isolated along supposedly uncharted, uncivilized areas of the Amazon for weeks on end.

      February 9, 2012 at 2:39AM EST
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      John J When they're running for their life they're NOT looking through the camera, that's usually why it's so shaky!

      Also, they are professionals. They shoot. War and news cameramen do this all the time and we don't think anything of it.

      Yeah it's pretty realistically ridiculous that there re so many cameras on the boat...but then look at The Deadlest Catch, there are tons of cameras set up there too. Of course since it's a network tv show they have to take that up by 180% and gets dumb.

      February 9, 2012 at 11:36AM EST
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      Clint The Deadliest Catch comparison illustrates a point that always bugs me about these found footage features. Why is it that camerament who film themselves getting attacked by ghosts are so much worse than camermen filming daily life on a fishing boat? The Deadliest Catch is what this looks like in real life, and the camera work isn't nearly as bad as it is on this show.

      That's what I hate. They don't just film it, but they go to great lengths to fake it up as if they just filmed it.

      February 9, 2012 at 1:14PM EST
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    Matt

    That was really bad. I'm surprised how bad it was. Usually Alan and I have similar taste in shows, so I'm doubly surprised.

    February 8, 2012 at 12:32AM EST Reply to Comment
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    MBX

    Alan, Alan, Alan. What were you smoking when you watched this show? The writing is a joke but not a funny one. The characters are cartoons. The film making techniques are trite. And to top it all off the lighting is so dark and the subtitles are so hard to read I stopped trying about halfway through.

    February 8, 2012 at 12:56AM EST Reply to Comment
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      Alfa 100 % agree. Really bad show.Waisted 1 hour and half of my life (could not even watch to the end of second hour).

      February 8, 2012 at 10:26AM EST
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    Caryn

    Didn't watch. Wasn't interested. After reading this, still not interested. Watched Parenthood instead. Loved. *looks around for Alan's Parenthood recap*

    February 8, 2012 at 1:08AM EST Reply to Comment
    • Midnight_run_mca255950_talkback_profile

      sepinwall Rule #3, Caryn.

      February 8, 2012 at 1:30AM EST
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    Yellowdog

    Truly awful acting and writing. It looked like it was made my young college students as a school project. It wasn't the least bit scary and most of the time I watched it I merely groaned, laughed, and rolled my eyes. Talk about a bomb. The ratings for this stinker will sink like a stone.

    February 8, 2012 at 2:07AM EST Reply to Comment
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    Tony

    I enjoyed the show quite a bit. I have not seen any of the paranormal activity movies so this style of shooting was new to me but I was not bothered at all by it. I actually thought it was interesting and increased the suspense quite a bit. I was always watching to see if I could catch a glimpse of the monster/spirit/ghost...was there going to be something there and if so I didn't want to miss it. I look forward to watching this show and seeing how the bigger story develops while getting to enjoy the immediate suspense created each week with whatever creature they come up with. When the mom was let go she crawled out of the grave they had dug up right? Found that pretty creepy when I realized that. I think the little details like that make this show good and it is important that when people watch this they devote their attention to it. How many people were watching while on their phones, laptops, or doing other things? That said I think this show would benefit from no commercials too or one large commercial break in the middle in order to keep the suspense more whole.

    February 8, 2012 at 2:24AM EST Reply to Comment
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    gregel

    I must be crazy, but I really liked the second episode a LOT. It's hard to do this found footage suspense with commercial breaks, but I thought it worked much, much better in the second episode. And it feels like it's moving - which is a good thing.

    February 8, 2012 at 3:05AM EST Reply to Comment
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    Bob

    What the writers possibly watched for this show: Blair Witch, Predator, that Twilight Zone where the guy free the Devil, Peter Jackson's King Kong (same sea captain!), the last Indiana Jones (before the monster reveal, I thought they'd go with aliens, Cinema Verite or American Family, Apocalypse Now, or read Ann Patchett's book on finding someone on the Amazon. The writing was boilerplate, but I like the idea of a horror show on TV. And the more crazier they can make it, the better.

    February 8, 2012 at 4:24AM EST Reply to Comment
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    MC

    Joe Anderson was definitely bad. His accent in particular was all over the place. Just a really weak character. The only people I'm really interested in are the girl and her father. Can the show re-focus on their story rather than the explorer dude?

    I can handle six more episodes, but it's really not all that compelling. The show does seem committed to quickly answering any questions that arise, but sometimes that's more of a disservice to the arc than a benefit.

    February 8, 2012 at 6:19AM EST Reply to Comment
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    jdstorm

    Overall i liked this show. it definitely has potential. I liked the second episode better especially when there was more time for the characters and less claustrophobic camera work.

    My Take On the Lincon(Joe Anderson) Issue is that rather then being the "annoying teenage son" stereotype that genere fans so despise, His problems are more closely related to what Entourage had with Vincent Chase.

    Like Vince he is meant to be this super awesome guy. A magnetic screen presence, his fathers son, smart enough to graduate med school and rugged enough to brave the amazon singlehandedly. Instead he comes across as a strung out Kurt Cobain wannabe. Its Miscasting. fixable with a change in writing

    The real problem is the show is built upon Teri Bauer. Who while being a solid actor clearly isn't the stable TV star that that role requires. The river needs a Matthew Fox, Noah Wylde, Emily Van Camp proven TV star type to build around and it just doesn't have them

    February 8, 2012 at 6:59AM EST Reply to Comment
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    Other Scott

    Wow, there are a lot of people who didn't like this show. I liked both hours well enough, though I was more enthused by the first as it seemed a little bit more coherent and like there was one overall story that could be told. As soon as you go into the "there's mysterious events happening all around this river" type storyline for the series, it makes it much easier for it to collapse in on itself.

    I will say that of all the shows that have tried to be the next Lost, this definitely has the most potential of any of them I've seen to actually fulfill that. They need to keep the writing up to a fairly high level, and of course flesh out the characters as well as simply telling the story and I think keeping focused and not spending too much time looking for Bruce Greenwood is important to stay fresh,but as a whole I can see this story coming together very nicely. It could also be near unwatchable a an adventure of the week with flat characters and no purpose. It could also turn completely incoherent. There's a lot of ways this show could go.

    The one thing about the characters so far is that they feel like real people for the most part (with the major exception of the producer. How are you still more concerned about your program than anything else?). Do they seem 3-dimensional yet? No, but I don't think if you were to talk to someone for two hours you'd say "well there's a nice three dimensional person." They still need more time to develop, which is a good thing.

    As for the lead, it seems like the worst thing a character can be on a TV show is annoying. However, I think there are a ton of real people who would be reacting exactly like Joe Anderson in the situation that these people are in. Do I like the character? No, I don't think you are supposed to. Do I have any problems with the character. Not at all.

    February 8, 2012 at 8:29AM EST Reply to Comment
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    ChampSkins

    Not the comments I expected to see...

    I enjoyed the first two hours, a lot more than I enjoyed the entire season of AHS. Also, I really liked Joe Anderson too, but that might just be because I love Across the Universe so I could be biased.

    Overall, decent enough show and with only 8 episodes, seems like it will be an easy watch.

    February 8, 2012 at 10:07AM EST Reply to Comment
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    Picard

    Horrible show (and I'm a big SF fan). Could not get to the end of the second hour (tried hard). Worst series in the past years. Will not watch it.

    February 8, 2012 at 10:16AM EST Reply to Comment
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    Mike

    Hate it.Hand held camera/web camera effects horrible to watch. Bad writing. I see people comparing it with Lost.The only common thing is that there is a tropical forest in both of them.Nothing more. Whoever came with the idea to film it like this should be fired. I doubt it will get more eppisode than the ones already done or ordered.RIP.

    February 8, 2012 at 10:22AM EST Reply to Comment
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      John J I thought of Lost the entire time, and not just because of the jungle. The whole show is built around a magic area that has some huge central mystery...it's TOTALLY like Lost.

      February 8, 2012 at 10:29AM EST
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    John J

    It's funny how a guy was KILLED and no one really cared.

    February 8, 2012 at 10:28AM EST Reply to Comment
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    Lauren

    I really, really wanted to like this show and was so looking forward to watching it. Unfortunately I found the acting of almost every single actor to be so terrible in the horror sequences that I couldn't actually maintain any of the suspense for myself. Specifically, I thought the reactions of Anderson, Mumford, and Hope to any scary moment were so fake and actor-y that I had to laugh.

    I'll keep watching a few more episodes to see if any of the acting improves but if it doesn't I'm going to have to abandon ship. And I was really hoping this would be my next LOST (in terms of my engagement in the show).

    February 8, 2012 at 10:31AM EST Reply to Comment
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      marilyn6@aol.com I just looked, for some reason if my comment was posted. Your comment right above mine says the same thing! Jump ship. I 'm going back to SMASH

      February 8, 2012 at 10:37AM EST
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    marilyn6@aol.com

    I want to like it, but do not think it is that good. Those camera guys are annoying. Maybe if they were going to find Emmet? as a group The son is a very unlikeable character. Excuse me for not getting names right, finding those perfect films not clever of the group was really bad. It has it;s moments, but for some reason I do not think it will be a show I watch to see howe bad it is each week.
    What I realized with that last sentence. The walking Dead I hated each week the second season, but I couldn't wait to see it each week to see how stupid it is and always went back for more. This show is a two hour watch.

    February 8, 2012 at 10:34AM EST Reply to Comment
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    Garrett

    It looked like in the preview for next week's episode the son cut his hair which would probably make this show about 30% more watchable.

    February 8, 2012 at 10:51AM EST Reply to Comment
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    Robin

    I didn't like the first hour, but I liked the second quite a bit. I think Dan or Alan compared it to the X-Files structurally, and I agree with that assessment.

    Oddly enough, I found Lincoln one of the more enjoyable characters, and for the first hour he was the only one I didn't want to see killed. I find the mother incredibly annoying. Then I realize that she's played by Teri Bauer (that explains alot!). All of the characters seem to be standard tropes, but it's an interesting enough concept for a network show that I imagine I'll be happy to invest another 6 hours of my life into it.

    February 8, 2012 at 10:59AM EST Reply to Comment
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    Maureen

    The only thing I'm surprised about is that anybody found anything to like in this show. It's bad start to finish. Everything about it is bad. Alan, I've lost just a little bit of respect for you after this.

    February 8, 2012 at 11:57AM EST Reply to Comment
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    Chrissy

    I enjoyed it, and I think it was a very good idea to air both episodes, since the first one takes a long time to get going and then sort of happens all in a burst. While I wasn't jumping off the sofa in fright or anything, the whole thing was nicely creepy and I could see curling up with it once a week with all the lights turned off.

    I didn't really find Lincoln particularly annoying, although his daddy issues were certainly not one of the high points. My concern with him is more that he seems to change as the situation requires it; he wants to find his father, he doesn't want to find his father. He believes in the supernatural, he doesn't believe. I think that probably makes him hard work for the actor who is just responding and doesn't get to create a character with a through line, the way some of the other actors do.

    I am also enjoying Clark more than I thought I would. I like the different kinds of villains the show has so far provided, and the idea of layers upon layers of secrets. I do hope that a few more characters learn Spanish some time soon, though.

    February 8, 2012 at 11:58AM EST Reply to Comment
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    BigTed

    I enjoyed some of it, but thought it was really padded out -- it would have been better as a two-hour movie, or even maybe a four-hour miniseries. I didn't care much about the characters, and nothing seemed to have any deeper meaning (as in the best parts of "Lost" -- which the whole idea of "the source" seems to be stolen from). Why not just give us a few scares and be done with it?

    I agree that the shaky hand-held cameras and security tapes became tiresome quickly (as did the idea of "look, it's a TV series about a TV series about a TV series!"). It seemed like they were trying to make "The Blair Witch Project" on a multi-million-dollar budget.

    I certainly wouldn't stick with the show if it went on for a full season, but I might watch the remaining episodes.

    February 8, 2012 at 1:45PM EST Reply to Comment
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    Modwild

    Who are you people??? How could you hate it? Enough of the Blair Witch and Lost and comparisons to things it has nothing to do with. The actor does a lot of the filming himself. Go, run in the jungle and let's see your footage. Killjoys.

    February 8, 2012 at 1:51PM EST Reply to Comment
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    K Rovinsky

    Cheesy. Dumb. Didn't like it. Will never watch it again, too much other good stuff on to waste time on TV of this level.

    February 8, 2012 at 2:51PM EST Reply to Comment
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    bitchstolemyremote

    Liked that the show was more creepy than scary. The acting was surprisingly good and both hours (especially the dolls) were effective.

    Worth sticking it out for eight hours.

    Our take: http://wp.me/p1VQBq-pO

    February 8, 2012 at 4:31PM EST Reply to Comment
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