Cannes Film Festival 2013

Season finale review: 'The River' - 'Row, Row, Row Your Boat': Off the map

The Magus crew finds new reason to stay on the Boiuna for adventures we may never see

<p>Bruce Greenwood in "The River."</p>

Bruce Greenwood in "The River."

Credit: ABC

A quick review of "The River" season — and quite probably series — finale coming up just as soon as I get back to my sandwich...

Because "The River" was created a guy who had never worked in TV, using a format that had been very successful in movies, and with a seemingly limited premise, I wondered after seeing the pilot whether it could really work as a TV show. And to my pleasant surprise, it did. Not every episode was great, but the show managed to plausibly construct a variety of stand-alone stories that didn't seem like they didn't belong, or like they were less interesting than the larger mystery of what happened to Emmet. And rather than push their luck by dragging the Emmet search out at least into a hypothetical second season, the producers brought him back to life at the end of last week's episode, and with the finale constructed an entirely new reason for the crew to spend many, many seasons on the Boiuna.

Unfortunately, the ratings haven't been good, and it's hard to see ABC trying again next season. But though "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" ended on a cliffhanger, it didn't leave me feeling frustrated that I wasn't likely to see where the story went next. Getting back to the show's Oren Peli roots, the episode felt like the end of a movie that's teasing what the next film in the franchise will be about, but that leaves you feeling like you got a complete experience in the one you just watched.

Lincoln's resurrection and demonic possession not only upped the supernatural ante(*), but actually gave Joe Anderson something he could play for the first time all season. It's been hard to tell whether the problem with Lincoln was the writing or the acting; seeing Anderson enjoy himself as Dark Lincoln suggested the former more than the latter (though it's entirely possible another actor would have made regular Lincoln seem much less petulant). Were the show likely to continue, I'd have preferred if Lincoln stayed either dead or evil, but as it is, we got a fun — if very over-the-top by design — exorcism sequence, as well as a set-up for potential future misadventures in the jungle.

(*) Though I wondered why the other crew members were that astonished by the idea of someone returning from the dead, since that's essentially what happened with Jonas. After all, he'd been hanging from that tree for months before they found him and brought him back to life.

I wish that the miniseries model was still viable on network TV. "The River" came on, told 8 hours worth of story over 7 weeks, was satisfying, and went off-stage before it wore out its welcome. Had it been a success, ABC could have brought it back again next spring under similar circumstances, and had it failed like it did, no harm, no foul.

But I thought the found-footage format actually worked very well given the budget, scheduling and content constraints of doing horror for television, I liked several performances a lot (particularly Eloise Mumford, Thomas Kretschmann and Bruce Greenwood), and I generally had a good time watching a show in a genre that's not my favorite. And ABC aired it all, so I don't feel left out, even though there's more story to tell. I can live with that.

What did everybody else think?

Alan-sepinwall-sm
Alan Sepinwall
Sr. Editor, What's Alan Watching
Alan Sepinwall has been reviewing television since the mid-'90s, first for Tony Soprano's hometown paper, The Star-Ledger, and now for HitFix. His new book, "The Revolution Was Televised," about the last 15 years of TV drama, is for sale at Amazon. He can be reached at sepinwall@hitfix.com

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  • Default-avatar

    Teklanika

    It wasn't the best thing I've seen, but I liked it well enough. I appreciate that it was different and that ABC took a risk rather than trying to create a copy of a crappy CBS police procedural in which the lead detective uses his or her amazing sense of smell to sniff out exactly what happened and whodunit!

    March 21, 2012 at 10:22AM EST Reply to Comment
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      marc which sitcom did the "smells crime" fake subplot again? the office? i can't remember it

      March 21, 2012 at 10:40AM EST
    • Thrillhouse_talkback_profile

      Vaughn I love Gus' "super sniffer" in Psych.

      March 21, 2012 at 10:42AM EST
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      Ben @Marc, the sitcom episode with "smelling crime" was Always Sunny...the one where Mac and Charlie try to write a script for M Night Shyamalan. They propose that they guy who can smell crime be played by Dolph Lundgren, as a scientist (in a mesh tank top, not a lab coat), or possibly as a dog voiced by Dolph Lundgren, or else as a guy whose whole head is a giant nose...

      March 21, 2012 at 10:51AM EST
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    Kevin

    I agree. I liked the out of the box format of the show, and while I didn't love a lot of the characters, I did like a few performances. I thought they did a good job with the effects for the most part, and I particularly liked the last few episodes before the finale the most. The finale itself was only so-so to me, but I certainly didn't feel like it left viewers hanging-pardon the pun.

    March 21, 2012 at 10:31AM EST Reply to Comment
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    Maeve

    This kind of horror genre is probably my least favorite, but I could deal with it in a limited run. Worthwhile experiment, I say. Try it again with something different?

    March 21, 2012 at 10:38AM EST Reply to Comment
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    jackie

    I went in with no expectations and ended up enjoying it quite a bit. It's a bummer that ABC is likely to not renew it, but it ended with a satisfying enough conclusion that I never felt like it was a waste of time.

    March 21, 2012 at 10:41AM EST Reply to Comment
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    Dezbot

    I enjoyed the series and am hoping it will come back. I need to know what was up with that creepy, if fleeting, smile on Lena's face when the river started closing up on them! AUGH!

    I agree with you that Anderson came to life (no pun intended) as Dark Lincoln. Lincoln was finally interesting. I'd also like to see them explore the tension between Emmet and Clark now that Emmet knows what happened when he "died."

    BTW, there was this cool promo for the show that showed Emmet emerging from the ground after being "dead" that never aired on the show. What's up with that?

    March 21, 2012 at 10:44AM EST Reply to Comment
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    CK

    Overall, the first season of The River hasn't been perfect, IMO, but I've definitely enjoyed almost every ep. a lot. Then again, I love sci fi/horror/found footage stuff so I can see how it wasn't for everyone. This finale was pretty cool, with Lincoln dying and then coming back and all that. I was convinced Kirk had shot Lincoln, so it did surprise me that it had been Jonas. The Exorcist-esque scene was also well-done, good acting all around. And I completely did not see the ending coming, I thought the Boiúna was going to do something to get back at them, but I wasn't sure what. In fact, when it looked like they were going to escape, I was all ready to ask why at the beginning of every ep. it had the disclaimer "This is the footage they left behind..." But this finale made everything clear both in terms of that and in terms of working as a semi-ending to the series. If ABC decides not to bring back the show, then at least we can assume that Emmet et al. were stuck in the Boiúna until they died and someone eventually recovered the tapes. If the series is renewed, they will have somewhere to go next season. Great finale, pretty good season.

    Also of note, the source/the Boiúna spirit doesn't like that Kurt's group (whoever they are) looks after it and protects it. That was pretty interesting.

    Furthermore, I have to say I enjoyed the fact that most of the mythology was taken care of in 1 season as opposed to a show like The X-Files or Lost where the mythology was forced to remain up in the air for an indefinite period of time based on how popular the show was and how likely it was to get renewed, often stretching it out until it was untenable or ridiculous. I was curious, as well, about your opinion on Anderson's acting, Alan, since you hadn't liked him before. I agree that I liked him even more as the dark spirit, even though I hadn't had a problem with him before.

    March 21, 2012 at 10:51AM EST Reply to Comment
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    Matt

    Am I the only one who noticed that ABC played this clip during pre-premiere advertising that showed some sort of green monster paw grabbing the boat, but they never followed through with it? I mean, it's not like they played the clip/commercial once or twice. I must've seen it 20 or 30 times. They showed the edge of the boat and then a big green paw/hand came up and grabbed it. I was waiting for that the entire season!!

    I fucking HATE false advertising. I actually liked the show pretty well, but the fact that they did that totally pisses me off.

    March 21, 2012 at 11:00AM EST Reply to Comment
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      Sun I believe it was the ep with the angry natives that made people blind. Could be wrong...

      March 21, 2012 at 3:24PM EST
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    joshua_davis

    This show did a lot of things right but I'm not gonna say it was perfectly executed. It got really slow in the middle with them staying on the boat for about 3-4 episodes and that was getting a little stale, I wouldve liked to seem them venture out into the Boiuna a bit more, but I will give them this, the show did not lack suspense where it was needed most. The show kicked off great and it ended on a great note, they were smart in my opinion to build up to the finale and go all out like they did. It was an incredible finale and it has me begging for a season 2. I really hope they don't cancel the show, I overall did enjoy it all the way through though it did have a few dull moments. I really liked the characters and I could really see this show going places if they give it one more chance and really up the anty.

    March 21, 2012 at 11:14AM EST Reply to Comment
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    Jobin

    Alan,
    I liked the show overall. I would have liked to see where they would have taken this in season 2.

    The mini-series made me feel that this show would have been better if it had been made a Summer TV event.

    This would have been a major upgrade over the previous summer attempts by Harper's Island and Happy Town. It's ratings would have had a better chance of holding up due to lack of competition, and lack of new summer tv programing.

    Do you think ABC would have been better off launching this in the summer? Did it feel like a summer show to you too?

    March 21, 2012 at 11:26AM EST Reply to Comment
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    Stephen

    The River actually has potential, which is more than I can say about 99% of what is on tv these days.

    March 21, 2012 at 12:04PM EST Reply to Comment
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    donna

    I LOVED The River and hope it comes back.

    March 21, 2012 at 12:12PM EST Reply to Comment
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    Trevor

    I personally really enjoyed having a thought provoking show on network TV. It is disappointing to hear the ratings drop yet again on a show that takes a little more concentration and brain power than a hospital drama, housewives gone wild, or "reality" TV. It won't surprise me if The River turns into Flash Forward, The Event or other in depth story lines cut before knowing any real answers. With The River, I still need closure on "the source" and Lena's link to the mystery based off her birthmark. I hope to get that with a season 2.

    March 21, 2012 at 12:32PM EST Reply to Comment
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    txt

    i'm really gonna miss this show, it was a fun ride and interesting concept. last few episodes were pretty awesome.

    March 21, 2012 at 1:12PM EST Reply to Comment
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    David

    I wish they had explained who the German guy was exactly and why he had initially planned to kill Emmet. Did I miss it?

    March 21, 2012 at 1:41PM EST Reply to Comment
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      Dezbot They never said who he worked for, other than the group was protecting "the source" Emmet was looking for (they didn't want that information getting out to the world).

      March 21, 2012 at 2:41PM EST
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      James My guess was the Catholic Church and he's trying to cover up some angels/demons shit.

      March 22, 2012 at 2:45PM EST
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    Mincow

    I thought it was an interesting concept, and was executed fairly well. I felt like the casting fell short, as if the casting director went to the closest acting class operating out of a strip mall and hired everyone there.

    March 21, 2012 at 2:10PM EST Reply to Comment
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    tim

    I really enjoyed the season/series. The last four episodes were ridiculously better than the first four, and it's unfortunate that it started so.. slowly, I suppose.

    If it had as much action in the beginning, we'd see increased viewership and a second season.

    March 21, 2012 at 2:56PM EST Reply to Comment
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    NotMyDayJob

    I agree. The right end to a good-but-not-great show that was usually entertaining and occasionally even scary. Worthwhile exercise for Oren ... be interesting to see how what he's learned about storytelling will inform the next movie he makes. One would assume positively.

    I was also very fond of the juxtaposition (which I assume was accidental but would very much like to think otherwise) of Butchie surfing (in footage that could have been lifted straight out of JfC) on end credits for "Cougar Town" leading into Mitch walking on water in front credits for "The River." A happy turn of events, if only that.

    March 21, 2012 at 4:48PM EST Reply to Comment
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    Rochelle

    I thought it was a gyp. The River was billed as an 8 part series, and the premise before every episode was that this was the footage "they left behind", suggesting that they never return. If I had any notion that this was just the first season, I wouldn't have paid much attention to it. ABC always cancells anything good. If it had been "The Amazing Race On The River", it probably would have enjoyed many seasons.

    March 21, 2012 at 5:04PM EST Reply to Comment
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    bitchstolemyremote

    Bruce Greenwood was definitely a standout. Lincoln as a character just never really worked, even if he was fun when he got to cut loose like he did last night (our take on the finale: http://wp.me/p1VQBq-CE). Overall it was an interesting experience as you suggest, Alan, but there were too many inconsistencies and shallow characters in service of the experimental footage approach to really satisfy.

    I'll just stick to my dog-eared copy of The Lost City of Z instead!

    March 21, 2012 at 5:24PM EST Reply to Comment
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    Matt Holmes

    There is nothing scary on television. This is the first show I've seen since maybe X-Files that actually has real scares in it, not just things popping out at you and a ear-piercing noise. I'll miss it.

    March 22, 2012 at 4:00AM EST Reply to Comment
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    webdiva

    I've always loved Bruce Greenwood and would welcome a chance to see more of him on TV, but ... not so happy with this show. Maybe it's because parts of it still reek of ABC's desperation to have another "Lost" and that really turns me off (much as Lost did). Given how badly ABC and its writer botched FastForward, I'd like to see this series work out; but they have to give me credible reasons to keep coming back. Greenwood's performance alone won't do it for me.

    March 23, 2012 at 10:51PM EST Reply to Comment
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    bob

    Just wondering - if you're say, oh demonically possessed - can create fire at whim, smash every window on the boat (how many years of bad luck is that? I lost count) and crazy glue someone to the ceiling, wouldn't it be reasonable to assume you could also break the comparatively flimsy bonds holding you to the table you're tied too and finish the job you started in the kitchen?

    March 28, 2012 at 11:55AM EST Reply to Comment

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