Inside Television with Alan Sepinwall

Review: ABC's 'GCB' a shrill, unfunny soap opera

A 'Desperate Housewives' wannabe set deep in the heart of Texas

By Alan Sepinwall Friday, Mar 2, 2012 1:00 PM

Review: ABC's 'GCB' a shrill, unfunny soap opera

Leslie Bibb confronts her rivals (Kristin Chenoweth, Miriam Shor, Marisol Nichols and Jennifer Aspen) in "GCB."

Credit: ABC

There are shows you watched once upon a time and still think back on fondly, there are shows you spent years watching and now wonder what on earth you were thinking, and then there are shows where you can't always be sure whether they were good or you just convinced yourself they were.

"Desperate Housewives" falls into the latter category for me. It debuted in the fall of the 2004-5 TV season, an all-time great year in network TV that also gave us "Lost," "House," "The Office," "Grey's Anatomy" and "Veronica Mars," among others. And it was an enormous hit right out of the gate, and I was swept up in both the hype and its place in this great freshman class, even though I generally have little use for soap operas. But I also think that, at least in that first season, "Desperate Housewives" aspired to be more than that, and often succeeded. It was commenting on and satirizing the various soap clichés even as it was cheerfully racing through all of them, and at times it managed to invest its suburban satire with real humanity.

Or maybe I'm just remembering it more fondly because "Desperate Housewives" is coming to the end of its final season — and, more importantly, because ABC is using these final "Housewives" episodes to launch "GCB" (Sunday at 10 p.m.), a new soap that wants so badly be this decade's "Desperate Housewives," but that plays more like a bad parody of it.

Based on the Kim Gatlin novel "Good Christian Bitches"(*), adapted by "Steel Magnolias" screenwriter Robert Harling, "GCB" is the umpteenth show this season ("2 Broke Girls" and "Charlie's Angels" were among the many otherS) to feature a character whose life is ruined by their connection to a Bernie Madoff type. In this case, it's Leslie Bibb as Amanda, whose late Ponzi schemer husband leaves her broke, humiliated and forced to move herself and her two teenage kids back to the wealthy, status-conscious Dallas neighborhood she abandoned years earlier.

(*) It's one of two shows ABC picked up for this year with the word "bitch" in the title that the network then wimped out on. (The upcoming sitcom "Don't Trust the B---- in Apt. 23" is the other.) At one point, they even redubbed it "Good Christian Belles" before deciding on this weird acronym which suggests a CBS crime procedural more than a Texas soap.

Though Amanda is the sympathetic heroine as an adult, we learn that as a teenager she was the meanest of mean girls, and took special pleasure in tormenting the four girls who grew up to be the community's queen b's — and who have now made it their mission to make Amanda reap what she once sowed.

That clique is made up of Kristin Chenoweth, Miriam Shor, Jennifer Aspen and Marisol Nichols, and with the exception of Nichols, they're all playing women who could be charitably called caricatures. Chenoweth's Carlene — a plastic surgery addict who sings lead in the church choir and passes judgment from on high atop her diamond-studded stilettos — is the most unpleasant of the bunch, but virtually all the women (and most of the men) Amanda encounters on the homefront are ridiculous, two-dimensional and awful.

Even Amanda's mother Gigi — Annie Potts in designer ensembles from a department store whose name conveniently/lucratively features into half the plots — is an over-the-top snob except for those moments when the show wants you to think she actually cares about Amanda and the kids. (And if those abrupt, clumsy pivots work at all, it's because Potts is so good.)

There's a place on TV for a good campy soap, full of back-stabbing, bed-hopping and all the rest. Not my kind of show, usually (unless there's something extra, like "Desperate Housewives" had at the beginning), but I have no problem with their existence. But good camp tends to have some deep affection for its various cartoon characters, where "GCB" seems to have nothing but contempt for Carlene's posse, their husbands, and everyone who isn't Amanda, her kids, and possibly the other waitresses at the Hooters knock-off where she finds employment.(**) Carlene, for instance, is a hypocrite who talks like a puritan, dresses like a hoochie and excuses it by explaining that she's been saved, then tries to swindle money for a charity she calls "For Children With Something."

(**) Putting your leggy blonde lead into a skimpy outfit is a way of pandering to a demo that's not going to watch this show unless under threat of torture, divorce or "I'll watch 'Deadwood' with you if you watch this with me."

If the show seems to hate these people and this world, why on earth would anyone at home want to spend time watching them? It's aiming for the same comic target "Housewives" used to hit, but in such a shrill, frantic way that none of the jokes come close to landing.

Based on the downward plunge all TV ratings have taken since that incredible '04-'05 season, ABC will be lucky if "GCB" can approximate the modest numbers "Desperate Housewives" is pulling today (under 9 million a week, compared to close to 24 million in that first season). Quality wise? Again, I'm still not sure how much I would enjoy those early "Housewives" episodes if I went back to watch them today, but I know that I cringed through nearly every minute of "GCB."

Alan Sepinwall may be reached at sepinwall@hitfix.com

Related Searches: GCB, Leslie Bibb, Kristin Chenoweth, Annie Potts, Miriam Shor, Jennifer Aspen, Marisol Nichols, Robert Harling, Alan Sepinwall

Adam

"Shrill and frantic" would make it the equal of the past several years of the Housewives, anyway. As a participant in one of those "you watch this and I'll watch Deadwood" pacts, I've been wincing through this final season of DH and it seems to me like the writers have come to HATE all those characters.
March 2, 2012 at 3:01PM EST Reply to Comment
- Jim My woman loved Deadwood and we watched Housewives much like Alan.....bailed after the first season. I was lucky I guess.
  March 3, 2012 at 6:05PM EST
LJA

There is a line that Kristen Chenowith says on one of the (never-ending) previews that is positively unintelligible, so cartoonish is her delivery.
March 2, 2012 at 3:11PM EST Reply to Comment
- Mandy Kristen Chenowith in the promo is the reason I won't watch. I hated her.
  March 2, 2012 at 3:26PM EST
dmstorm22

I agree with you about DH. It became such a over-the-top soap (just with better acting) in its final years. I think they took that risk to jump forward five years, and although I agree it was probably a good risk given the path the show was taking in the years right before, the jump kind of killed the show. The most egregious things was that they seemingly forgot all ages of the kids. Namely Susan's son with Mike was somehow always looked and written younger than Gaby's first child, even though he was born before.

Anyway, I do agree that watching what it is now, you wonder if the show was ever any good, but I do think that for at least that first season, DH was a really good show. Well constructed, thought out and acted.
March 2, 2012 at 3:19PM EST Reply to Comment
Carly

When I first heard about this show I thought it would be something I'd want to watch. Then I saw the promo. The promo grates on my last nerve so I will not be tuning in. I like soapy shows and believe I'm among its target audience but I'd agree to suffer through Survivor Man before I'd watch this show.
March 2, 2012 at 3:21PM EST Reply to Comment
JedyKnight

DH started as a great guilty pleasure, but the last seasons people mostly watch out of pity for something you once loved.. now if GCB doesnt even have that positive begnning, i don think it will even finish the season.
and is a shame because Kristin Ch and Leslie B can be very, very funny performers.
March 2, 2012 at 3:35PM EST Reply to Comment
War Chief Shake Zula

I feel like I've said this so many times since that '04-'05 season about ABC shows in general, but...if this is the kind of drama programming they're going to shovel out for us, I'm not watching. Same goes for Missing.
March 2, 2012 at 3:41PM EST Reply to Comment
Craig Ranapia

" Carlene, for instance, is a hypocrite who talks like a puritan, dresses like a hoochie and excuses it by explaining that she's been saved"

Um, yeah... and you think the point could have been made that, yes, the world is full of pious hypocrites without making Chenoweth look like she's going to be spending sweeps week licking a stripper pole?
March 2, 2012 at 3:50PM EST Reply to Comment
John

Even though I'm a James Wolk fan, I'm not pleased that this show ruined the only real romantic rival for Steve on Shameless.
March 2, 2012 at 3:55PM EST Reply to Comment
ChampSkins

When I see the previews for this show, I always think of Suburgatory as a drama. The same ridiculous over the top characters, that are somewhat funny in a comedy, I guess wouldn't work in a drama.
March 2, 2012 at 4:13PM EST Reply to Comment
John

As a born-and-raised Dallasite, I honestly find this show somewhat offensive based on the promo. Dan's "Texas minstrel show" comment on the podcast seemed pretty apt.
March 2, 2012 at 5:00PM EST Reply to Comment
Greg

Why they gave up "Good Christian Belles"? It's much, much, much better than only GCB.

As for the show itself, not interested at all for the moment. But I wasn't interested in Revenge when it premiered and that turned out to be a great soap, so one never know what to expect.
March 2, 2012 at 5:07PM EST Reply to Comment
Tammy

I have this worrisome feeling that the show is going to be a surprise success, and it will be yet another annoying ABC hour-long that my coworkers will be won't gushing about on Mondays.
March 2, 2012 at 5:33PM EST Reply to Comment
Richmond

That '04-'05 TV season certainly had a lot of great shows premiering. You already named some, but I just couldn't let Boston Legal staying unmentioned.

As for GCB, your review sadly confirmed my expectations. It's unfortunate that we don't get to see Kristin Chenoweth in better roles/on better shows - I know she still has it in her.
March 2, 2012 at 10:18PM EST Reply to Comment
- CinemaPsycho Well, she was in Pushing Daisies, but not enough people watched. So we get what we deserve.
  March 3, 2012 at 3:05AM EST
Geoff Rose

Fort Worth born-and-raised here.

It's a real shame how bad this looks, because (as others have said) I was really looking forward to seeing Chenowith back on TV. Was also glad to see More of Leslie Bibb and Miriam Shor (Big Day was amusing as hell).

But the entire thing looks like a giant mess that ABC should advertise "broadcast in amazing 2D!!!"

Might check out little snippets for the few good moments, but doubtful it'll snag like DH did.

March 3, 2012 at 12:43PM EST Reply to Comment
bitchstolemyremote

Meh - if I want soapy drama that aspires to be more, I'll stick with Revenge, which is knocking it out of the park!
March 3, 2012 at 12:47PM EST Reply to Comment
MoreTears

Why are people talking about this like it is a drama? It is obviously a comedy, or more specifically, a satire. Not all comedies are half-hour "sitcoms." Desperate Housewives has always submitted itself and its actors in the comedy categories for the Emmy Awards, and it as a comedy -- a comedy with "drama bits" -- that I have enjoyed DH for eight years. I will watch GCB and won't be at all surprised if I come to a very different conclusion than Alan.
March 3, 2012 at 8:27PM EST Reply to Comment
- Mahmoud Fayed Not everyone lowers their standards for a TV show simply because it is a comedy, and I'm glad Alan is one of the people who doesn't.
  March 4, 2012 at 4:32PM EST
Dan

I hope this show dies before the next episode. It is a raunchy, awful, depiction of America.
March 5, 2012 at 7:52PM EST Reply to Comment
- Ted Schmoesby That would make it quite realistic and un-hypocritical then
  March 6, 2012 at 1:09PM EST
ellekay

I watched the first episode and hated it. Pure cliche. Stupid. Even though I'm a nonbeliever, I found the religious aspect ridiculous and insanely overdone. I had ZERO sympathy for the mean girl having been victimized by them when I was a young teen girl way back in the day.

Point this chick at some good Sci Fi and I'll gladly leave this crap in the dirt.

March 6, 2012 at 4:08PM EST Reply to Comment
franimaljones

OH I think you're wrong on this one, Alan. I have a feeling all these characters introduced have a huge opportunity to develop. This is a show geared toward women. Maybe you don't get it?
March 6, 2012 at 8:45PM EST Reply to Comment
webdiva

Can't stand the kind of women this show is about, like the show even less. Hope it dies a quick death. Period.
March 7, 2012 at 12:12AM EST Reply to Comment
Hwat

Well shrill and unfunny sums Kristin Chenoweth up for me. And ugly - but if she was funny that wouldn't matter.
Oh well, one to miss!
March 7, 2012 at 4:12PM EST Reply to Comment
Trish

This show is hysterical. My husband secretly watches it with me. Based on the ratings, it looks like GCB will be picked up for another season. Maybe you should find another profession...
April 8, 2012 at 6:49PM EST Reply to Comment

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All through his childhood, Alan Sepinwall's relatives told his parents, "All that boy does is watch television! How's he going to make a living doing that?" His career as a TV critic has been 15 years and counting of his attempt to answer their concerns. "What's Alan Watching" is a blog whose title is self-explanatory: Alan watches TV shows, then writes about what he watched. He can be reached at sepinwall@hitfix.com

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Comments

Option 1

Option 2

Option 3

Jim My woman loved Deadwood and we watched Housewives much like Alan.....bailed after the first season. I was lucky I guess.

LJA There is a line that Kristen Chenowith says on one of the (never-ending) previews that is positively unintelligible, so cartoonish is her delivery.

Mandy Kristen Chenowith in the promo is the reason I won't watch. I hated her.

War Chief Shake Zula I feel like I've said this so many times since that '04-'05 season about ABC shows in general, but...if this is the kind of drama programming they're going to shovel out for us, I'm not watching. Same goes for Missing.

John Even though I'm a James Wolk fan, I'm not pleased that this show ruined the only real romantic rival for Steve on Shameless.

ChampSkins When I see the previews for this show, I always think of Suburgatory as a drama. The same ridiculous over the top characters, that are somewhat funny in a comedy, I guess wouldn't work in a drama.

John As a born-and-raised Dallasite, I honestly find this show somewhat offensive based on the promo. Dan's "Texas minstrel show" comment on the podcast seemed pretty apt.

Greg Why they gave up "Good Christian Belles"? It's much, much, much better than only GCB.As for the show itself, not interested at all for the moment. But I wasn't interested in Revenge when it premiered and that turned out to be a great soap, so one never know what to expect.

Tammy I have this worrisome feeling that the show is going to be a surprise success, and it will be yet another annoying ABC hour-long that my coworkers will be won't gushing about on Mondays.

CinemaPsycho Well, she was in Pushing Daisies, but not enough people watched. So we get what we deserve.

bitchstolemyremote Meh - if I want soapy drama that aspires to be more, I'll stick with Revenge, which is knocking it out of the park!

Mahmoud Fayed Not everyone lowers their standards for a TV show simply because it is a comedy, and I'm glad Alan is one of the people who doesn't.

Dan I hope this show dies before the next episode. It is a raunchy, awful, depiction of America.

Ted Schmoesby That would make it quite realistic and un-hypocritical then

franimaljones OH I think you're wrong on this one, Alan. I have a feeling all these characters introduced have a huge opportunity to develop. This is a show geared toward women. Maybe you don't get it?

webdiva Can't stand the kind of women this show is about, like the show even less. Hope it dies a quick death. Period.

Hwat Well shrill and unfunny sums Kristin Chenoweth up for me. And ugly - but if she was funny that wouldn't matter. Oh well, one to miss!

Trish This show is hysterical. My husband secretly watches it with me. Based on the ratings, it looks like GCB will be picked up for another season. Maybe you should find another profession...

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LJA

There is a line that Kristen Chenowith says on one of the (never-ending) previews that is positively unintelligible, so cartoonish is her delivery.

War Chief Shake Zula

I feel like I've said this so many times since that '04-'05 season about ABC shows in general, but...if this is the kind of drama programming they're going to shovel out for us, I'm not watching. Same goes for Missing.

John

Even though I'm a James Wolk fan, I'm not pleased that this show ruined the only real romantic rival for Steve on Shameless.

ChampSkins

When I see the previews for this show, I always think of Suburgatory as a drama. The same ridiculous over the top characters, that are somewhat funny in a comedy, I guess wouldn't work in a drama.

John

As a born-and-raised Dallasite, I honestly find this show somewhat offensive based on the promo. Dan's "Texas minstrel show" comment on the podcast seemed pretty apt.

Greg

Why they gave up "Good Christian Belles"? It's much, much, much better than only GCB.

As for the show itself, not interested at all for the moment. But I wasn't interested in Revenge when it premiered and that turned out to be a great soap, so one never know what to expect.

Tammy

I have this worrisome feeling that the show is going to be a surprise success, and it will be yet another annoying ABC hour-long that my coworkers will be won't gushing about on Mondays.

bitchstolemyremote

Meh - if I want soapy drama that aspires to be more, I'll stick with Revenge, which is knocking it out of the park!

Dan

I hope this show dies before the next episode. It is a raunchy, awful, depiction of America.

franimaljones

OH I think you're wrong on this one, Alan. I have a feeling all these characters introduced have a huge opportunity to develop. This is a show geared toward women. Maybe you don't get it?

webdiva

Can't stand the kind of women this show is about, like the show even less. Hope it dies a quick death. Period.

Hwat

Well shrill and unfunny sums Kristin Chenoweth up for me. And ugly - but if she was funny that wouldn't matter.
Oh well, one to miss!

Trish

This show is hysterical. My husband secretly watches it with me. Based on the ratings, it looks like GCB will be picked up for another season. Maybe you should find another profession...