People of Springfield: Who's your favorite non-Simpson 'Simpsons' character?
Can you pick one and only one citizen of America's greatest city?
Lionel Hutz, one of the many men and women who made "The Simpsons" great.
On Friday, I asked you to pick one — and only one — episode of "The Simpsons" as your favorite ever. Yesterday, the challenge was to pick one — and only one — "Simpsons" quote as your favorite.
For the third and final one of these challenges, to commemorate tonight's 500th episode of "The Simpsons," I'm going to ask you once again to make one pick — and only one — of an element of the greatest comedy series of all time. This time, it's the characters... and to avoid having 90% of the comments be "Homer," I'm going to make any member of the Simpson family ineligible. No Homer, no Marge or Bart or Lisa or Maggie. No Abe, either. (Though Patti and Selma are okay, as they're Bouviers.)
Ideally, we'd limit this to minor characters, as I think it's pretty easy to just pick Mr. Burns (who was the dominant figure of many of the classic seasons) or Moe or someone else who's nearly as important as members of the family, and I've always wondered who everyone's favorite obscure Springfield citizen was. But I couldn't think of a way to cleanly and easily delineate, and I didn't want to spend all day policing the comments to say, "No, Mrs. Krabappel is too well-known, but Ms. Hoover is okay." So if you want to pick Seymour Skinner, more power to ya.
For me, I'm going to go with someone who very easily could have become one of the show's more frequent characters had it not been for a real-life tragedy: Lionel Hutz. Even more than the late, great Phil Hartman's other recurring character, Troy McClure, Lionel felt like this brilliant comic weapon who could get an enormous laugh when inserted into any episode — even one that didn't seem to have an obvious place for Springfield's most infamous attorney:
So that's my pick. Who's yours? Like I said, Lionel isn't that obscure. I'm curious to see if there's someone who favors, say, Disco Stu or Jasper or Uter or Sherri and Terri (and I would say they qualify as a single character, where Lenny and Carl do not) — and, if so, why.
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Next 220 CommentsJCS
February 19, 2012 at 9:47AM EST Reply to CommentRalph Wiggum, if only for his Valentine's Day card to Lisa (or "I bent my wookie!" or the immortal "Me fail English" quote" or... there's just so much to choose from!)
Kyle Tastes like burning!
February 19, 2012 at 12:39PM ESTGBK I always loved Ralph's "my cat's breath smelled like cat food."
February 19, 2012 at 1:26PM ESTPleming "the doctor said I wouldn't get so many nosebleeds if I just kept my finger out of there"
February 19, 2012 at 1:59PM ESTideemo I agree with Ralph. Because he's special!
February 19, 2012 at 3:04PM ESTSolid Muldoon I agree. Ralphie just slays me. "I'm a unitard!"
February 19, 2012 at 5:21PM ESTUGABugKiller Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers!
February 19, 2012 at 6:27PM ESTDudder "Tastes like grandma!"
February 20, 2012 at 12:29PM ESTMiles "When I grow up, I wanna go to Bovine University!"
February 20, 2012 at 2:15PM ESTrare_basement
February 19, 2012 at 9:48AM EST Reply to CommentLuann Van Houten forever
laurence2174
February 19, 2012 at 9:49AM EST Reply to CommentPrincipal Skinner, because steamed hams.
Scheer_Power
February 19, 2012 at 9:51AM EST Reply to CommentHans Moleman because it's like kissing a peanut.
spabz He's 31 years old!
February 19, 2012 at 6:49PM ESTRichard
February 19, 2012 at 9:52AM EST Reply to CommentGummy Joe - because of 'Old Chopper'.
John
February 19, 2012 at 9:54AM EST Reply to CommentI was going with Obvious mr. Burns because by far he is the funniest, but since you want more obscure I will go with mayor quinby with groundskeeper Willie at 1a
seaver78
February 19, 2012 at 9:55AM EST Reply to CommentIt's Mr. Burns for me. I am always a sucker for old people confused by our modern world and/or dancing. There's been plenty of both through 499.
seaver78 But since Mr. Burns is ineligible, I'll go with Dr. Nick Riviera. Constant gold in Bart Gets Hit by a Car and Homer's Heart Surgery.
February 19, 2012 at 9:59AM ESTGreg
February 19, 2012 at 9:58AM EST Reply to CommentCletus the Slack Jawed Yokel, because most folks'll never eat a skunk, but then again some folk'll.
seaver78 "Back you go. To waits for a woman with less discriminatin' tastes."
February 19, 2012 at 10:02AM ESTCletus after Brandine turns down some sweet free telephone line boots.
Pennywise Rarr Rarr Rarr, no one understands you she-bear!
February 19, 2012 at 10:50AM EST
Watch out for the skunk. Them things can go off even after they's dead.
February 19, 2012 at 1:41PM EST
I also love when he yells (or should it be hollers? ) for all his kids (thanks IMDb, no way I could remember all these names): "Hey kids get put here! Come on Tiffany, Heather, Cody, Dylan, Dermott, Jordan, Taylor, Brittany, Wesley, Rumer, Scout, Cassidy, Zoe, Chloe, Max, Hunter, Kendal, Katlin, Noah, Sasha, Morgan, Kira, Ian, Lauren, Q-bert, Phil. We're eating dinner tonight."
February 19, 2012 at 1:55PM EST
"out" not 'put'...my fingers are too rubinesque for my phone.
February 19, 2012 at 1:57PM ESTL44t 100% agreed with Cletus...Qbert has me ROTL every single time I see that episode with his kids
February 21, 2012 at 4:04AM ESTTara
February 19, 2012 at 9:58AM EST Reply to CommentComic Book Guy, mostly for the Doctor Who references. :)
shma Are you the creator of Hi and Lois? Because you are making me laugh!
February 19, 2012 at 4:04PM ESTAdam B.
February 19, 2012 at 9:59AM EST Reply to CommentKrusty the Klown.
My cat's name is Mittens
February 19, 2012 at 10:03AM EST Reply to CommentRalph Wiggum is the greatest character of all time. The loveable loser has the most quotable one liners on the show. Plus he even ran for President.
filaphresh
February 19, 2012 at 10:03AM EST Reply to CommentHerb Simpsons! (Just kidding)
But I love Groundskeeper Willie.
Dave
February 19, 2012 at 10:03AM EST Reply to CommentSuperintendent Chalmers. "SKIN-NERR!"
Goon Close, but I prefer Super Nintendo Chalmers
February 19, 2012 at 2:25PM ESTLuke
February 19, 2012 at 10:08AM EST Reply to CommentHank Scorpio - Why? Because he'd buy you the Denver Broncos.
Rick Oh, Luke. You just don't understand football.
February 19, 2012 at 11:18AM ESTMatt He doesn't know football, but he knows hammocks.
February 20, 2012 at 2:23PM ESTSean
February 19, 2012 at 10:09AM EST Reply to CommentIf its possible to choose a character played by a character, then I gotta go for McBain otherwise it has to be the method actor that brings him to life, Rainier Wolfcastle
"How do you sleep at night?"
February 19, 2012 at 10:33AM EST"On top of a large pile of money surrounded by many beautiful women."
Tim Mendoza!!!!!!!
February 19, 2012 at 10:53AM EST
The goggles do nothing.
February 19, 2012 at 1:42PM ESTPizpot Gargravarr "From here they appear to be tied but I will go in for a closer look ... ... on closer inspection, these are loafers.
February 19, 2012 at 7:03PM ESTJosh "Maybe you are all homosexuals!"
February 19, 2012 at 7:26PM ESTnathan
February 19, 2012 at 10:13AM EST Reply to CommentArmin Tamzarian.
John I see what you did there.
February 19, 2012 at 10:38AM ESTJohn We agreed to never mention him again.
February 19, 2012 at 10:50AM ESTPaul F
February 19, 2012 at 10:15AM EST Reply to Comment"Hi, everybody!"
"Hi, Dr. Nick!"
I love him. It helps that he hasn't been overexposed in the past decade like some other characters have.
Dave Agreed Willy next.
February 19, 2012 at 10:28AM ESTQ Ball Good call, Dr. Nick always shows up unexpectedly when I watch a random episode and gives me a good chuckle
February 19, 2012 at 10:30AM ESTJenny Be creative. Instead of making sandwiches with bread, use Pop-Tarts. Instead of chewing gum, chew bacon. And remember, if you're not sure about something, rub it against a piece of paper. If the paper turns clear, it's your window to weight gain. "
February 19, 2012 at 11:55AM ESTHanley_John Well, if it isn't my old friend, Mr. McGregg. With a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg!
February 19, 2012 at 4:48PM ESTnathan
February 19, 2012 at 10:17AM EST Reply to CommentBut seriously, Sideshow Bob. He always offers up laughs because of his staunch, crisp mannerisms and yet, still manages to indulge in buffoonery. See Sideshow Bob's Last Gleaming. Or his conversation with Colonel Leslie "Hap" Hapablap.
Mike I have a life outside of you Bart
February 19, 2012 at 10:22AM ESTDefinitely Bob
gamesix Surely a man who speaks German can't be evil.
February 19, 2012 at 11:46AM ESTGreg Definitely Sideshow Bob, with a close runner-up to Sideshow Cecil. "Oh, I see. When it's one of MY schemes, you can't foil it fast enough, but when it's Cecil, it's "hopeless, utterly hopeless!"
February 19, 2012 at 8:39PM ESTWally East
February 19, 2012 at 10:19AM EST Reply to CommentTroy McClure, because I do remember him for such films as "Man vs. Nature: The Road to Victory" and "Earwgis, EW!"
Scheer_Power "The Presidents Neck is Missing"
February 19, 2012 at 2:05PM ESTJames Mac "Locker Room Towel Fight: The Blinding of Larry Driscoll"
February 19, 2012 at 7:27PM ESTBrendan D "Alice Doesn't Live Anymore" and "Mommy, What's Wrong With That Man's Face?"
February 19, 2012 at 9:43PM ESTchalmers I'll always remember you Troy, but not from any of your films.
February 20, 2012 at 8:23AM ESTPizpot Gargravarr
February 19, 2012 at 10:22AM EST Reply to CommentArgh, why must you make us choose Alan, why?
I've gotta go with Lionel Hutz as well, but I have to say that it is a crime that Harry Shearer has never won an Emmy despite the fact that in 1996 Outstanding Voice Actor wasn't even awarded to anyone. I was also sorely tempted to say Jasper, if only for "That's a paddlin'" and "Lollypop, lollypop, ooh lolly-lollypop, lollypop... ow"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-Fv7Hqy1Vo
Pizpot Gargravarr Oh, and the fact that his last name is Beardley.
February 19, 2012 at 10:23AM ESTBrandon I'm a Jasper guy myself:
February 19, 2012 at 12:47PM ESTSidewalk's for regular walkin. Not for fancy walkin.
Who shot what in the what now?
Justin
February 19, 2012 at 10:27AM EST Reply to CommentLenny and Carl (They are symbiotic to me)
Marge: Not Lennnny!
joe Aww, I wanted the black one.
February 19, 2012 at 11:33AM ESTScheer_Power Lenny = white
February 19, 2012 at 2:06PM ESTCarl = black
"Hmm...is that right?"
Brendan D "There's Mt. Carlmore. I carved that for Carl one magical summer."
February 19, 2012 at 9:46PM EST"What'd Carl say?"
"You know, we never talked about it."
Q Ball
February 19, 2012 at 10:27AM EST Reply to CommentGroundskeeper Willie. He didn't cry when his own father was hung for stealing a pig, but he'll cry now.
Dave Won't someone save me from the wee turtles.
February 19, 2012 at 10:30AM ESTKermit
February 19, 2012 at 10:28AM EST Reply to CommentEleanor Abernathy, because snddjhjkhsb CATS kmsiwuyvtyca
February 19, 2012 at 10:31AM EST Reply to CommentI'm going super obscure: say hello to Miguel Sanchez!
Brendan D On that note, why not Señor Spielbergo?
February 19, 2012 at 9:46PM ESTpwbk
February 19, 2012 at 10:36AM EST Reply to CommentCookie Kwan. She's number one on the westside.
Jenny H Stay off the Westside!
February 19, 2012 at 7:29PM ESTPimentel
February 19, 2012 at 10:39AM EST Reply to CommentFrank Grimes!
Hanley_John Or Grimey, as he LIKED to be called.
February 19, 2012 at 4:48PM ESTJack
February 19, 2012 at 10:43AM EST Reply to CommentNo question: Hollywood Upstairs Medical College graduate Dr. Nick Riviera.
"If something should go wrong, let's not get the law involved! One hand washes the other. Oh, that reminds me! (washes hands)."
Tim
February 19, 2012 at 10:44AM EST Reply to CommentBarry Duffman. "Duffman says a lot of things...Oh Yeah!"
Tim Alan you are right though, Hutz has to be up there. "That's why you're the judge and I am the law talking guy." RIP Phil Hartman
February 19, 2012 at 10:56AM ESTatsprings Duffman can never die, only the actors who play him! OH YEAH!\
February 20, 2012 at 11:44AM ESTJohn
February 19, 2012 at 10:47AM EST Reply to CommentSqueaky voiced teen. Always funny.
Erin Umm ... I'll have to check with the manager ...
February 19, 2012 at 7:30PM ESTSaint Me
February 19, 2012 at 10:51AM EST Reply to CommentNo love for Ol' Gil?
John Please love Ol'Gil otherwise I'll be sleeping outside again tonight.
February 19, 2012 at 10:53AM ESTBrendan D "Dance for ya? But we're on the phone. You can't s-- all right, ol' Gill's a-dancin' for ya! Ha cha cha..."
February 19, 2012 at 9:47PM EST- 1
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