Cannes Film Festival 2013

People of Springfield: Who's your favorite non-Simpson 'Simpsons' character?

Can you pick one and only one citizen of America's greatest city?

<p>Lionel Hutz, one of the many men and women who made "The Simpsons" great.</p>

Lionel Hutz, one of the many men and women who made "The Simpsons" great.

Credit: FOX

On Friday, I asked you to pick one — and only one — episode of "The Simpsonsas your favorite ever. Yesterday, the challenge was to pick one — and only one — "Simpsons" quote as your favorite.

For the third and final one of these challenges, to commemorate tonight's 500th episode of "The Simpsons," I'm going to ask you once again to make one pick — and only one — of an element of the greatest comedy series of all time. This time, it's the characters... and to avoid having 90% of the comments be "Homer," I'm going to make any member of the Simpson family ineligible. No Homer, no Marge or Bart or Lisa or Maggie. No Abe, either. (Though Patti and Selma are okay, as they're Bouviers.) 

Ideally, we'd limit this to minor characters, as I think it's pretty easy to just pick Mr. Burns (who was the dominant figure of many of the classic seasons) or Moe or someone else who's nearly as important as members of the family, and I've always wondered who everyone's favorite obscure Springfield citizen was. But I couldn't think of a way to cleanly and easily delineate, and I didn't want to spend all day policing the comments to say, "No, Mrs. Krabappel is too well-known, but Ms. Hoover is okay." So if you want to pick Seymour Skinner, more power to ya.

For me, I'm going to go with someone who very easily could have become one of the show's more frequent characters had it not been for a real-life tragedy: Lionel Hutz. Even more than the late, great Phil Hartman's other recurring character, Troy McClure, Lionel felt like this brilliant comic weapon who could get an enormous laugh when inserted into any episode — even one that didn't seem to have an obvious place for Springfield's most infamous attorney: 

So that's my pick. Who's yours? Like I said, Lionel isn't that obscure. I'm curious to see if there's someone who favors, say, Disco Stu or Jasper or Uter or Sherri and Terri (and I would say they qualify as a single character, where Lenny and Carl do not) — and, if so, why.

Alan-sepinwall-sm
Alan Sepinwall
Sr. Editor, What's Alan Watching
Alan Sepinwall has been reviewing television since the mid-'90s, first for Tony Soprano's hometown paper, The Star-Ledger, and now for HitFix. His new book, "The Revolution Was Televised," about the last 15 years of TV drama, is for sale at Amazon. He can be reached at sepinwall@hitfix.com

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Next 220 Comments
  • Default-avatar

    JCS

    Ralph Wiggum, if only for his Valentine's Day card to Lisa (or "I bent my wookie!" or the immortal "Me fail English" quote" or... there's just so much to choose from!)

    February 19, 2012 at 9:47AM EST Reply to Comment
    • Default-avatar

      Kyle Tastes like burning!

      February 19, 2012 at 12:39PM EST
    • Default-avatar

      GBK I always loved Ralph's "my cat's breath smelled like cat food."

      February 19, 2012 at 1:26PM EST
    • Default-avatar

      Pleming "the doctor said I wouldn't get so many nosebleeds if I just kept my finger out of there"

      February 19, 2012 at 1:59PM EST
    • Default-avatar

      ideemo I agree with Ralph. Because he's special!

      February 19, 2012 at 3:04PM EST
    • Solid_talkback_profile

      Solid Muldoon I agree. Ralphie just slays me. "I'm a unitard!"

      February 19, 2012 at 5:21PM EST
    • Default-avatar

      UGABugKiller Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers!

      February 19, 2012 at 6:27PM EST
    • Default-avatar

      Dudder "Tastes like grandma!"

      February 20, 2012 at 12:29PM EST
    • Default-avatar

      Miles "When I grow up, I wanna go to Bovine University!"

      February 20, 2012 at 2:15PM EST
  • Default-avatar

    rare_basement

    Luann Van Houten forever

    February 19, 2012 at 9:48AM EST Reply to Comment
  • Default-avatar

    laurence2174

    Principal Skinner, because steamed hams.

    February 19, 2012 at 9:49AM EST Reply to Comment
  • Imgres_talkback_profile

    Scheer_Power

    Hans Moleman because it's like kissing a peanut.

    February 19, 2012 at 9:51AM EST Reply to Comment
    • Default-avatar

      spabz He's 31 years old!

      February 19, 2012 at 6:49PM EST
  • Default-avatar

    Richard

    Gummy Joe - because of 'Old Chopper'.

    February 19, 2012 at 9:52AM EST Reply to Comment
  • Default-avatar

    John

    I was going with Obvious mr. Burns because by far he is the funniest, but since you want more obscure I will go with mayor quinby with groundskeeper Willie at 1a

    February 19, 2012 at 9:54AM EST Reply to Comment
  • Default-avatar

    seaver78

    It's Mr. Burns for me. I am always a sucker for old people confused by our modern world and/or dancing. There's been plenty of both through 499.

    February 19, 2012 at 9:55AM EST Reply to Comment
    • Default-avatar

      seaver78 But since Mr. Burns is ineligible, I'll go with Dr. Nick Riviera. Constant gold in Bart Gets Hit by a Car and Homer's Heart Surgery.

      February 19, 2012 at 9:59AM EST
  • Default-avatar

    Greg

    Cletus the Slack Jawed Yokel, because most folks'll never eat a skunk, but then again some folk'll.

    February 19, 2012 at 9:58AM EST Reply to Comment
    • Default-avatar

      seaver78 "Back you go. To waits for a woman with less discriminatin' tastes."
      Cletus after Brandine turns down some sweet free telephone line boots.

      February 19, 2012 at 10:02AM EST
    • Lucille_talkback_profile

      Pennywise Rarr Rarr Rarr, no one understands you she-bear!

      February 19, 2012 at 10:50AM EST
    • Watch out for the skunk. Them things can go off even after they's dead.

      February 19, 2012 at 1:41PM EST
    • I also love when he yells (or should it be hollers? ) for all his kids (thanks IMDb, no way I could remember all these names): "Hey kids get put here! Come on Tiffany, Heather, Cody, Dylan, Dermott, Jordan, Taylor, Brittany, Wesley, Rumer, Scout, Cassidy, Zoe, Chloe, Max, Hunter, Kendal, Katlin, Noah, Sasha, Morgan, Kira, Ian, Lauren, Q-bert, Phil. We're eating dinner tonight."

      February 19, 2012 at 1:55PM EST
    • "out" not 'put'...my fingers are too rubinesque for my phone.

      February 19, 2012 at 1:57PM EST
    • Default-avatar

      L44t 100% agreed with Cletus...Qbert has me ROTL every single time I see that episode with his kids

      February 21, 2012 at 4:04AM EST
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    Tara

    Comic Book Guy, mostly for the Doctor Who references. :)

    February 19, 2012 at 9:58AM EST Reply to Comment
    • Default-avatar

      shma Are you the creator of Hi and Lois? Because you are making me laugh!

      February 19, 2012 at 4:04PM EST
  • Default-avatar

    Adam B.

    Krusty the Klown.

    February 19, 2012 at 9:59AM EST Reply to Comment
  • Default-avatar

    My cat's name is Mittens

    Ralph Wiggum is the greatest character of all time. The loveable loser has the most quotable one liners on the show. Plus he even ran for President.

    February 19, 2012 at 10:03AM EST Reply to Comment
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    filaphresh

    Herb Simpsons! (Just kidding)
    But I love Groundskeeper Willie.

    February 19, 2012 at 10:03AM EST Reply to Comment
  • Default-avatar

    Dave

    Superintendent Chalmers. "SKIN-NERR!"

    February 19, 2012 at 10:03AM EST Reply to Comment
    • Default-avatar

      Goon Close, but I prefer Super Nintendo Chalmers

      February 19, 2012 at 2:25PM EST
  • Default-avatar

    Luke

    Hank Scorpio - Why? Because he'd buy you the Denver Broncos.

    February 19, 2012 at 10:08AM EST Reply to Comment
    • Default-avatar

      Rick Oh, Luke. You just don't understand football.

      February 19, 2012 at 11:18AM EST
    • Default-avatar

      Matt He doesn't know football, but he knows hammocks.

      February 20, 2012 at 2:23PM EST
  • Default-avatar

    Sean

    If its possible to choose a character played by a character, then I gotta go for McBain otherwise it has to be the method actor that brings him to life, Rainier Wolfcastle

    February 19, 2012 at 10:09AM EST Reply to Comment
    • "How do you sleep at night?"

      "On top of a large pile of money surrounded by many beautiful women."

      February 19, 2012 at 10:33AM EST
    • Default-avatar

      Tim Mendoza!!!!!!!

      February 19, 2012 at 10:53AM EST
    • The goggles do nothing.

      February 19, 2012 at 1:42PM EST
    • Default-avatar

      Pizpot Gargravarr "From here they appear to be tied but I will go in for a closer look ... ... on closer inspection, these are loafers.

      February 19, 2012 at 7:03PM EST
    • Default-avatar

      Josh "Maybe you are all homosexuals!"

      February 19, 2012 at 7:26PM EST
  • Default-avatar

    nathan

    Armin Tamzarian.

    February 19, 2012 at 10:13AM EST Reply to Comment
    • Default-avatar

      John I see what you did there.

      February 19, 2012 at 10:38AM EST
    • Default-avatar

      John We agreed to never mention him again.

      February 19, 2012 at 10:50AM EST
  • Default-avatar

    Paul F

    "Hi, everybody!"
    "Hi, Dr. Nick!"

    I love him. It helps that he hasn't been overexposed in the past decade like some other characters have.

    February 19, 2012 at 10:15AM EST Reply to Comment
    • Default-avatar

      Dave Agreed Willy next.

      February 19, 2012 at 10:28AM EST
    • Default-avatar

      Q Ball Good call, Dr. Nick always shows up unexpectedly when I watch a random episode and gives me a good chuckle

      February 19, 2012 at 10:30AM EST
    • Default-avatar

      Jenny Be creative. Instead of making sandwiches with bread, use Pop-Tarts. Instead of chewing gum, chew bacon. And remember, if you're not sure about something, rub it against a piece of paper. If the paper turns clear, it's your window to weight gain. "

      February 19, 2012 at 11:55AM EST
    • Hitfixavatar_talkback_profile

      Hanley_John Well, if it isn't my old friend, Mr. McGregg. With a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg!

      February 19, 2012 at 4:48PM EST
  • Default-avatar

    nathan

    But seriously, Sideshow Bob. He always offers up laughs because of his staunch, crisp mannerisms and yet, still manages to indulge in buffoonery. See Sideshow Bob's Last Gleaming. Or his conversation with Colonel Leslie "Hap" Hapablap.

    February 19, 2012 at 10:17AM EST Reply to Comment
    • Default-avatar

      Mike I have a life outside of you Bart


      Definitely Bob

      February 19, 2012 at 10:22AM EST
    • Default-avatar

      gamesix Surely a man who speaks German can't be evil.

      February 19, 2012 at 11:46AM EST
    • Default-avatar

      Greg Definitely Sideshow Bob, with a close runner-up to Sideshow Cecil. "Oh, I see. When it's one of MY schemes, you can't foil it fast enough, but when it's Cecil, it's "hopeless, utterly hopeless!"

      February 19, 2012 at 8:39PM EST
  • Default-avatar

    Wally East

    Troy McClure, because I do remember him for such films as "Man vs. Nature: The Road to Victory" and "Earwgis, EW!"

    February 19, 2012 at 10:19AM EST Reply to Comment
    • Imgres_talkback_profile

      Scheer_Power "The Presidents Neck is Missing"

      February 19, 2012 at 2:05PM EST
    • Default-avatar

      James Mac "Locker Room Towel Fight: The Blinding of Larry Driscoll"

      February 19, 2012 at 7:27PM EST
    • Default-avatar

      Brendan D "Alice Doesn't Live Anymore" and "Mommy, What's Wrong With That Man's Face?"

      February 19, 2012 at 9:43PM EST
    • Default-avatar

      chalmers I'll always remember you Troy, but not from any of your films.

      February 20, 2012 at 8:23AM EST
  • Default-avatar

    Pizpot Gargravarr

    Argh, why must you make us choose Alan, why?
    I've gotta go with Lionel Hutz as well, but I have to say that it is a crime that Harry Shearer has never won an Emmy despite the fact that in 1996 Outstanding Voice Actor wasn't even awarded to anyone. I was also sorely tempted to say Jasper, if only for "That's a paddlin'" and "Lollypop, lollypop, ooh lolly-lollypop, lollypop... ow"

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-Fv7Hqy1Vo

    February 19, 2012 at 10:22AM EST Reply to Comment
    • Default-avatar

      Pizpot Gargravarr Oh, and the fact that his last name is Beardley.

      February 19, 2012 at 10:23AM EST
    • Default-avatar

      Brandon I'm a Jasper guy myself:

      Sidewalk's for regular walkin. Not for fancy walkin.

      Who shot what in the what now?

      February 19, 2012 at 12:47PM EST
  • Default-avatar

    Justin

    Lenny and Carl (They are symbiotic to me)

    Marge: Not Lennnny!

    February 19, 2012 at 10:27AM EST Reply to Comment
    • Default-avatar

      joe Aww, I wanted the black one.

      February 19, 2012 at 11:33AM EST
    • Imgres_talkback_profile

      Scheer_Power Lenny = white
      Carl = black
      "Hmm...is that right?"

      February 19, 2012 at 2:06PM EST
    • Default-avatar

      Brendan D "There's Mt. Carlmore. I carved that for Carl one magical summer."
      "What'd Carl say?"
      "You know, we never talked about it."

      February 19, 2012 at 9:46PM EST
  • Default-avatar

    Q Ball

    Groundskeeper Willie. He didn't cry when his own father was hung for stealing a pig, but he'll cry now.

    February 19, 2012 at 10:27AM EST Reply to Comment
    • Default-avatar

      Dave Won't someone save me from the wee turtles.

      February 19, 2012 at 10:30AM EST
  • Default-avatar

    Kermit

    Eleanor Abernathy, because snddjhjkhsb CATS kmsiwuyvtyca

    February 19, 2012 at 10:28AM EST Reply to Comment


  • I'm going super obscure: say hello to Miguel Sanchez!

    February 19, 2012 at 10:31AM EST Reply to Comment
    • Default-avatar

      Brendan D On that note, why not Señor Spielbergo?

      February 19, 2012 at 9:46PM EST
  • Default-avatar

    pwbk

    Cookie Kwan. She's number one on the westside.

    February 19, 2012 at 10:36AM EST Reply to Comment
    • Default-avatar

      Jenny H Stay off the Westside!

      February 19, 2012 at 7:29PM EST
  • Default-avatar

    Pimentel

    Frank Grimes!

    February 19, 2012 at 10:39AM EST Reply to Comment
    • Hitfixavatar_talkback_profile

      Hanley_John Or Grimey, as he LIKED to be called.

      February 19, 2012 at 4:48PM EST
  • Default-avatar

    Jack

    No question: Hollywood Upstairs Medical College graduate Dr. Nick Riviera.

    "If something should go wrong, let's not get the law involved! One hand washes the other. Oh, that reminds me! (washes hands)."

    February 19, 2012 at 10:43AM EST Reply to Comment
  • Default-avatar

    Tim

    Barry Duffman. "Duffman says a lot of things...Oh Yeah!"

    February 19, 2012 at 10:44AM EST Reply to Comment
    • Default-avatar

      Tim Alan you are right though, Hutz has to be up there. "That's why you're the judge and I am the law talking guy." RIP Phil Hartman

      February 19, 2012 at 10:56AM EST
    • Default-avatar

      atsprings Duffman can never die, only the actors who play him! OH YEAH!\

      February 20, 2012 at 11:44AM EST
  • Default-avatar

    John

    Squeaky voiced teen. Always funny.

    February 19, 2012 at 10:47AM EST Reply to Comment
    • Default-avatar

      Erin Umm ... I'll have to check with the manager ...

      February 19, 2012 at 7:30PM EST
  • Default-avatar

    Saint Me

    No love for Ol' Gil?

    February 19, 2012 at 10:51AM EST Reply to Comment
    • Default-avatar

      John Please love Ol'Gil otherwise I'll be sleeping outside again tonight.

      February 19, 2012 at 10:53AM EST
    • Default-avatar

      Brendan D "Dance for ya? But we're on the phone. You can't s-- all right, ol' Gill's a-dancin' for ya! Ha cha cha..."

      February 19, 2012 at 9:47PM EST
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