Recap: 'The Amazing Race' - 'Let Them Drink Their Haterade'
Speed-Bumps, Double U-Turns and 'bamboons'... Oh my!
Brendon and Rachel of "The Amazing Race"
Credit: CBS
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When "The Amazing Race" wins its inevitable Emmys and people rant about the lazy and predictable choice that voters have made, I usually rush to the show's defense.
My argument is always that even if I sometimes prefer seasons of "Top Chef" or "Survivor" or "American Idol," the production scope of "Amazing Race" is on a totally different scale and that the show's technical excellence, particularly when it comes to editing, should never be underestimated.
I say that as a way to be nice and complimentary before getting to this:
Sunday (April 15) night's episode of "The Amazing Race" was an egregiously poorly edited episode of television. It was 40+ minutes of poor pacing and character choices, lousy continuity and confusing narrative progression. Tension was generated in perplexing ways and then defused. Finally, because of equally poor Race architecture, the editors had to practically give up, as the Leg was determined by a couple uninteresting tasks that were wedged into the last four minutes of the episode.
Blech.
More after the break, but I really don't know how much effort I feel like putting into this...
Like I said, I was confused by Sunday's episode and it felt like the editors were also confused, because they were seemly dealt what ought to have been the dullest hand imaginable.
Last week, we saw Fake Teachers Nary & Jamie struggle to set up a safari-style tent at the end of a Non-Elimination Leg in Africa. We knew they had problems, because they squandered an advantage over several teams on their way to a last-place finish. We had no idea how much they had actually struggled. It turns out that Nary & Jamie began Sunday's Leg two hours behind Vanessa & Ralph in next-to-last and more than three hours behind the leaders, Rachel & Dave. With a Speed-Bump coming up and with the looming prospect of a Double U-Turn, there was absolutely zero chance that Nary & Jamie could recover on a Leg without major travel or equalizers and with the current "Amazing Race" reticence to commit to genuinely time consuming challenges.
And they didn't! Nary & Jamie started the Leg in last, finished the Leg in last and they were eliminated from The Race.
And yet somehow, Sunday's leg became weirdly close, but the editors were incapable of explaining how that occurred. Nor were they able to make that turn of events seem exciting.
The commitment, at least initially, was to natural photography. "The Amazing Race" spent a lot of money and effort going HD, so Sunday's episode started with 10 minutes of the teams driving through the Ngorongoro Crater and pointing at animals and smiling and talking about how this was a respite from The Race. I get why they need a respite from The Race. They're on it. While viewers like animals too, we've had a week's respite from The Race already, so the sluggish beginning to the episode was a problem and gave a not-so-broad hint that the challenges on the leg were less worthy of screentime than... "bamboons," as Blonde Rachel called them.
The Detour was the choice between Air Supply and Water Supply and it was not a valid choice. In Air Supply, teams had to learn to change the tire on a bicycle. In Water Supply, teams had to collect containers and go stand in line at a well, fill the containers and take them to a house.
Let me make this clear: "Standing in line" should never be a key component of an "Amazing Race" task and if you've designed a task that includes "standing in line" as its most time consuming element, you've done something wrong.
The teams, not being stupid, all selected Air Supply, with the exception of Art & JJ, who suffered from flawed logic regarding the bicycle task, got to the Stand in Line task and decided they'd wasted too much time getting there to go back to the other Detour. What the heck?
To make matters worse, Air Supply was a boring Detour, one that didn't tax any of the teams and one that was only barely more telegenic than the Stand in Line Detour.
To make matters even worse, because of the Double U-Turn, two additional teams still had to do the Stand in Line Detour.
The Double U-Turn was another problem. Apparently Dave & Rachel and Art & JJ made an agreement to U-Turn Team Big Brother if ever they got the chance. But Rachel & Dave decided that with the Fake Teachers so far behind, there was no point in stirring up the additional animosity, so they let Team Big Brother slide. Art & JJ, however, remained true to their word and they U-Turned Rachel & Brendon. Then JJ spent the rest of the episode whining about honor and dignity and being true to your word and how Rachel & Dave were horrible scoundrels because they'd... OH WHO CARES?!? Art sure didn't care. With his partner ranting and raving on multiple car journeys and at the Roadblock and at the Pit Stop, Art kept his mouth shut. But the editors wanted to make sure that we hate Art & JJ, so they included several minutes of JJ's ramblings. And mission accomplished.
Personally, I think once you get to a Double U-Turn mat and you've been U-Turned, I think your U-Turning is the primary action and you should have to go back and finish the other Detour before you're allowed to use a U-Turn on another team. The "Amazing Race" producers disagree with me, so Team Big Brother was able to U-Turn Vanessa & Ralph.
This was important because somehow Vanessa & Ralph had blundered away the bulk of their two-hour advantage over Jamie & Nary. I'm not in any way satisfied with the answer to the episode's most important question: How the heck did that lead get blundered away? I just can't accept that Vanessa and Ralph spent two solid hours wandering around Karatu looking for the "Hillary Clington" gas stand that every other team found easily and that the locals had successfully directed four previous teams to. Somewhere, there was a blunder or confusion of proportions so epic that I needed it better illustrated for me. This was like Bill & Cathi getting lost in Taiwan last season, a massive wound that was totally self-inflicted and therefore had to be at least somewhat justified. To me, that's what the episode was. To the editors, the episode was baby zebras and JJ being an insufferable twit, plus the obligatory allotment of "Big Brother" Rachel Cries About Something Tough time.
Somehow, though, with 10 minutes remaining in the episode, Vanessa & Ralph's advantage over Jamie & Nary was down to nothing. But we knew that was an illusion, because there was a Speed-Bump and a Roadblock coming up. The Speed-Bump asks Jamie & Nary to set up a stand for a local art show. It wasn't hard, but it took exactly enough time to end their comeback, since the only task remaining in the episode was a dud of a Roadblock asking a contestant to don a beekeeper's suit and harvest 500 grams of honey. It is neither hard nor time consuming to gather 500 grams of honey.
Ugh.
So farewell to Jamie & Nary. I'll never understand why you thought there was value to lying about your job, but I guess I'll ask tomorrow.
Other thoughts on Sunday's episode before I give up to go watch "Mad Men"...
*** Art & JJ started the Race seeming like they were endearingly Type-A and ultra-competitive, but the "endearing" part has vanished. When they picked a fight with Rachel & Brendon, it was OK, because it's never unprovoked to pick a fight with Brendon & Rachel. But after picking fights with Jamie & Nary and now with Dave & Rachel, they're only coming across as bullies.
*** I'm a bit concerned about Bopper's knee and I think that he and Mark made a big mistake on the Roadblock. They had some concerns about Bopper's physical condition, but it turned out that the beekeeping Roadblock didn't require walking, much less running. This was exactly the right Roadblock for an injured contestant to do and they'll be hard-pressed to find anything better for Bopper to tackle in upcoming legs.
*** Y'all know I'm partial to Vanessa both for aesthetic reasons and because I think she'd genuinely and intentionally funny, but yowza she's not good under pressure. I got a good chuckle out of her pronouncement, "We have the best luck with cabs," followed instantly by the flat tire.
*** Points to Art and "Big Brother" Rachel -- See? I can give credit where it's due -- for referencing Winnie the Pooh during their honey-gathering.
Did you love Sunday's episode? Will you care at all that Jamie and Nary are gone?
A long-time member of the TCA Board and a longer-time blogger of "American Idol," Dan Fienberg writes about TV, except for when he writes about movies or sometimes writes about the Red Sox. But never music. He would sound stupid talking about music.
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Login or create a HitFix account Login SignupMark
April 15, 2012 at 10:42PM EST Reply to CommentDan, agreed the editing tonight was rough. One part that annoyed me was when Bopper and Mark were in the cab after the tire challenge at the same time with Dave and Rachel. It seemed like they were in the cab for hours how much they kept going back to them to add the suspense of them passing Dave and Rachel.
I also hate when Road Blocks are so easy. Did someone write on their application they were terrified of bees? The water line made me think of South Park when the kids go on the line ride.
dan Mark - That whole cab ride was weird, because Mark & Bopper were ahead. And then they weren't. And then they were ahead again. And then... Whatever.
April 15, 2012 at 10:45PM ESTAnd with the bees, we had the beekeeper warning them that these are African bees and they *will* sting. Oh. OK. Guess they didn't. But... whatever. Half-assed tension!
-Daniel
April 16, 2012 at 12:04AM EST Reply to CommentIm actually liking Art & JJ more each passing week. You forgot to mention seeing BB Rachel crying again. Ugh. Really?
Dezbot
April 16, 2012 at 12:07AM EST Reply to CommentThe bees were supposed to get Rachel for me. Damn bees!!
Agreed that the pacing was odd. And Rachel is more Whiny the Poophead than our innocent little Winnie. Ugh.
mturnerdu
April 16, 2012 at 12:08AM EST Reply to CommentTotally agree that being U-Turned should preclude you from turning another team until you've finished your second task. It pretty much nullifies the U-Turn if you get to turn someone else so you know you won't be in last.
Also, how about Phil calling out Dave on how much of a jerk he is being to his wife. Rachel is killing it and all Dave does is blame her for every little thing that goes wrong. Between him and J.J., I have a hard time figuring out who I dislike the most.
Mark Great point, Phil gave it to Dave who deserved it. He is so annoying at times. Never his fault, always her's.
April 16, 2012 at 12:46AM ESTGuesser Agreed. Phil doesn't exactly dress contestants down like T.J. Lavin on The Challenge, but it was satisfying to see him call out Dave. I did laugh at Dave's half-assed "Oh, I'm happy for them" 2nd-place concession.
April 16, 2012 at 12:52AM ESTTeam Border Patrol is annoying, hypercompetitive alpha males, sure - but they did give another team $5k out of generosity, so it doesn't bother me much.
cabri
April 16, 2012 at 1:04AM EST Reply to CommentThis was the first episode I've seen and I didn't see all of it, but things were definitely weird. I thought Jamie and Nary took it well, though, and their comments at the end surprisingly touching (usually I find loser comments mawkish or sadly bitter).
Pedak
April 16, 2012 at 8:17AM EST Reply to CommentYes, because bullying is alright when you don't like the victim. Your irrational hatred of Team Big Brother makes you look like the bully.
April 16, 2012 at 10:18AM ESTMulderism I boycotted the season because they were on. Two season of BB was enough. I couldn't watch another second of those two. I never want to see them on TV again.
April 16, 2012 at 12:51PM ESTRobin
April 16, 2012 at 10:10AM EST Reply to CommentWhen two teams are obnoxious enough to make me start rooting for BB Rachel, you know it's a bad season. This season started off well for me, and I'm sad to see it has devolved into last night's crap.
Bopper and Mark -- I think Bopper said Mark HAD to do the bees. I assumed that Bopper is terrified of bees. I am, and there is positively no way I could've done that road block in any kind of timely manner.
Selfishly I loved the first 10 minutes. It made most of the racers likeable again (even mean girl Vanessa), and, having finally jumped into the HDTV world, I got to see the Race in HD splendor.
One last thing -- who thinks that Rachel threw the footrace to the mat so that Bopper and Mark could win a leg? I don't think there's any way they shouldn't have passed them with Bopper's bum knee.
dan Robin - I thought it was because of Bopper's knees that Mark had to do bees. [That's a Dr. Seuss book waiting to happen.]
April 16, 2012 at 12:52PM ESTAs for Rachel throwing the footrace, there was no real indication of that in the editing, but given how badly edited this episode was, it's entirely possible that happened.
-Daniel
jan I thought the same thing about Rachel throwing the foot race. They have already won four legs, after all. Give someone else a chance, and they were right there, so they're on even ground the next time.
April 16, 2012 at 9:22PM ESTRobin There was a point during the bee challenge where Bopper said out loud that his knee was killing him, and they just really wanted to come in first just ONCE. I'm pretty sure he said that to/in front of Rachel, which is why I was thinking she threw the foot race. There would've been no way Dave would've gone along with letting Bopper and Mark win.
April 17, 2012 at 12:03PM ESTAndy
April 16, 2012 at 2:48PM EST Reply to CommentI couldn't agree any more vehemently that being double U-turned should send the person back without the possibility themselves, it's awful.
If the person hasn't completed one task they can't skip straight to that spot, so the fact that while technically being half-way through a team can always bugs me.
This has been one of my major gripes since picking up the Amazing Race. The producers need to pick up on it.
jcpdiesel21 Agreed. It doesn't seem fair that a team can use this advantage when they themselves have been U-Turned and have not finished their required extra task. Unfortunately, this has happened more than this season.
April 16, 2012 at 4:01PM ESTJC
April 16, 2012 at 6:14PM EST Reply to CommentAgreed about the Double U-Turn. I was hoping Team BB would be sent home by it, but them being able to tag another team pretty much wasted it. Either change the rules, or...stop doing DOUBLE U-Turns and go back to single U-Turns. Overall, this was a snoozer.
Completely random thought, and I know they'll probably never use it again, but I would laugh my ass off if the next leg had one of those Intersections from Season 16. The comedic potential is limitless.
west coast ram
April 17, 2012 at 6:17PM EST Reply to CommentCould Rachel be any worse to watch????