It’s planet earth and an alien in the form of Britney Spears, or at least someone who looks like her and has a fondness for her Radiance perfume, is inside a space module, full of screens and wires and, oddly, an ever expanding wedding dress that has magical powers (and all the product placement any earth-loving martian could ask for).
Her futuristic module seems to be some kind of time machine since the screens often flash images of Britney past from a much more innocent time. Even though she’s surrounded by men, she’s got marriage on her mind: we’re guessing from the wedding dress, that turns her into the 60-f00t woman, and the fact that she goes on the Christian dating site, PlentyOfFish.com, looking for a man. We’re not sure how he’d get on in the pod.
There are all kinds of non-sensical images interspersed with the dance scenes, such as Britney seemingly at a press conference or painted-red lips singing against a blacked-out background like the opening for “Rocky Horror Picture Show.” Did we mention that at some point the back-up dancers have no eyes. We're sure it's some kind of trenchant statement about the debilitating effects of living in the spotlight. Wait, we're really not sure at all about that.
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The weirdness goes off the chart during the song’s breakdown. Spears spray paints herself to death in a rainbow of color, ruining the wedding dress in the process, while two dueling Britneys living in some alternate universe appear out of nowhere to kick the living shit out of each other a la “Kill Bill.”
But through the wonders of modern chemistry, or whatever, she’s reborn and off the space module and on a soundstage dressed all in black performing the song. Nothing can stop that rhythm, not an asteroid, bad lip-synching or lack of a discernible plot.
The clip, directed by Jonas Akerlund, is a visual feast we’re just not sure what we’re supposed to be chewing on.
"Hold It Against Me" is the first single from Spears' March 29 album, "Femme Fatale."
What do you think of the video for "Hold It Against Me?"
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