Watch: Britney Spears' new video for 'Hold It Against Me'

She's coming after you next

By Melinda NewmanThursday, Feb 17, 2011 10:01 PM

<p>Britney Spears goes old school tacky or decides to steal Kim Zolciak's look from the "Real Housewives of Atlanta" in her new video "Hold It Against Me."</p>

Britney Spears goes old school tacky or decides to steal Kim Zolciak's look from the "Real Housewives of Atlanta" in her new video "Hold It Against Me."

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It’s planet earth and an alien in the form of Britney Spears, or at least someone who looks like her and has a fondness for her Radiance perfume, is inside a space module, full of screens and wires and, oddly, an ever expanding wedding dress that has magical powers (and all the product placement any earth-loving martian could ask for).

Her futuristic module seems to be some kind of time machine since the screens often flash images of Britney past from a much more innocent time. Even though she’s surrounded by men, she’s got marriage on her mind: we’re guessing from the wedding dress, that turns her into the 60-f00t woman, and the fact that she goes on the Christian dating site, PlentyOfFish.com, looking for a man. We’re not sure how he’d get on in the pod.

There are all kinds of non-sensical images interspersed with the dance scenes, such as Britney seemingly at a press conference or painted-red lips singing against a blacked-out background like the opening for “Rocky Horror Picture Show.” Did we mention that at some point the back-up dancers have no eyes. We're sure it's some kind of trenchant statement about the debilitating effects of living in the spotlight. Wait, we're really not sure at all about that.

[More after the jump...]

The weirdness goes off the chart during the song’s breakdown. Spears spray paints herself to death in a rainbow of color, ruining the wedding dress in the process, while two dueling Britneys living in some alternate universe appear out of nowhere to kick the living shit out of each other a la “Kill Bill.”

But through the wonders of modern chemistry, or whatever, she’s reborn and off the space module and on a soundstage dressed all in black performing the song. Nothing can stop that rhythm, not an asteroid, bad lip-synching or lack of a discernible plot.

The clip, directed by Jonas Akerlund, is a visual feast we’re just not sure what we’re supposed to be chewing on.

"Hold It Against Me" is the first single from Spears' March 29 album, "Femme Fatale."

What do you think of the video for "Hold It Against Me?"

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gregel

Not even sure where to start. There is like one minute of good stuff here when she's fighting herself and when her huge wedding dress falls apart in the paint. The bad parts are...

- The horrible product placement which even a hipo hop artist would wince at. Jonas wanted his big video set and I guess SONY paid for it.
- She looks terrible and it's mostly here hair. When did her stylist decide Kim Zolciak's look from the "Real Housewives of Atlanta" was "now"? (It's either that or she's trying to bring Dolly Parton's wigs back)(Or is this the "Jersey Shore" look?)
- The last dance number is WEAK. Britney still can't bend her back when she dances. It's been very obvious since her comeback with "Gimme More." Can she go on The View and just admit she's got some weird back issue?
- Is she gonna make that dancer have blue hair for the whole upcoming tour that should be announced any moment now? If so he should get double time...

The sad thing is, it's a GREAT single and Jonas is a good director. Something tells me he was just not inspired, this doesn't seem like Ms. Spears fault.

Sigh.
February 18, 2011 at 1:51AM EST Reply to Comment