You know who should be upset about Britney Spears’ steamy new  “Criminal” video? Not anyone who may hate the sight of crappy, abusive boyfriends or blatant product endorsements or  the thought of their little kids watching their idol naked in the shower. No, who should really be upset are the British police. Talk about the gang who can’t shoot straight.  More about that later.

In the clip, which was shot in London last month, Spears lives out the ultimate bad boy fantasy. After being knocked around by her seemingly upscale boyfriend, she gets rescued by a passer by, who just happens to be her real-life boyfriend,  Jason Trawick. He’s a criminal with lots of guns and some really big tattoos, but hey, he’s good in bed (which they discover after knowing each other for two minutes) and he brings her coffee the next morning. What's not to love?  (Let's not even get into the fact that her boyfriend abusing her isn't enough to make her leave, it's her catching him flirting with another woman.... ).

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Spears’ character is so wayward and so mindless, that the simple sight of a Trawick's gun  (and we really mean his gun here, we're not using a metaphor) sends her on a robbery spree, so soon our Bonnie & Clyde lovers are on the run. In an unbelievable stroke of good fortune, they find a hiding place with a great overhead shower for them to frolic under.

But the cops find them. Together less than 24 hours, Brit and Jason’s characters’ love is so strong, it is literally bulletproof. As Britain’s finest shoot round after round of ammo at the pair, they never hit them. And Britney and Jason just keep kissing. That’s how intense their love is, y’all.

It’s a rare thing to have this happen, but this video actually made me like the song, the latest single from "FemmevFatale," less. There’s a reason we don’t like to see real-life couples in love scenes together in movies: it feels  a little too voyeuristic.  This video just left me wanting to hop in that shower to wash “Criminal” off me.

What do you think?