(Old) Katy Perry in "The One That Got Away"

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Katy Perry's video for "The One That Got Away" debuted today and it's a dramatic testament to a love that ends, but never, ever dies. Perry, love interest Diego Luna, and director Floria Sigismondi throw in cliches aplenty here.At least she's not pregnant when the break-up occurs...maybe in a sequel.  Here was our take away.

1) Perry will look like “Titanic”-era Gloria Stewart when she ages. The video opens with Perry made up as an elderly woman, a very well-heeled one at that, with a halo of white hair and blazing blue eyes. The similarity to Stewart is striking as she reflects back on her lover who “got away.”

[More after the jump...]

2) If you’re cute and young, no one minds when you crash a wedding, even if they have no idea who you are. Not even when you steal the bride’s veil or sneak away into a backroom for an impromptu tattoo session (you know that nasty thing got infected).

3) Even passionate, boho, temperamental artist types have their limits. When Perry overreacts to lover Luna throwing paint on her canvas (on their too cutesy side-by-side easels), it’s the final straw in the relationship. Although we’ve seen none of the other straws that lead up to this (there is a longer version, where, perhaps, more is revealed).

4) Perry, apparently, has the ability to turn day into night. When Luna leaves their house following their argument, it’s night, but in the next scene as he continue to drive, it’s daylight. Nice car, dude.

5) Money may not buy you love, but it sure as hell buys you a very big bed, plenty of shoes,  a huge house, an expensive ride, and a husband, whom you can treat dismissively because you’re still lovesick 50 years later.  In Cher’s immortal words from “Moonstruck”: “Snap out of it.”

 In other Perry news, she'll give a free show at Staples Center in Los Angeles on Nov. 23 to thank her fans and, it sounds like, to film a concert DVD. For more info, go to www.facebook.com/katyperry.

What grade would you give "The One That Got Away?"