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1) Adele: She keeps breaking records on an hourly basis as “21” celebrates its first year on the chart with its biggest-selling week yet as she sweeps the Brits. Note to M.I.A.: When Adele gives the finger people think it’s charming. Learn from that.
2) Whitney Houston: The adage that death is a good career move, sadly, rings true once again. Two weeks after her death, her sales rise 144%.
3) Taylor Swift: Within three days of a high school student with cancer asking Taylor Swift to his prom, she promptly turns him down: She has a better offer: be her date for the Academy of Country Music Awards. We wish Kevin McGuire, who’s currently in the hospital, a speedy recovery and we’ll see him on the red carpet at the ACMs.
4) Barbra Streisand: The superstar, not the Duck Sauce song, re-signs with Columbia Records on the eve of her 50th anniversary with the label. Looks like she does need more than people.
5) The Beatles: The Fab Four continue to join the rest of us in the new millennium as they offer 30-second ringtones for their 27 No. 1 singles this week. It took them seven years to put their music on iTunes. This move is positively rapid compared to that.
6) Katy Perry: “Part of Me” debuts at No. 1 on the Hot 100. Is it too late to strip it onto the standard version of “Teenage Dream” so she can claim the title of most No. 1 songs from one album?
7) President Obama: As if we didn’t already know from his soulful rendition of Al Green’s “Let’s Stay Together” that Barack Obama could sing, now he’s just showing off by singing “Sweet Home Chicago” at the White House after Mick Jagger hands him the microphone. And Obama hands conservatives the perfect headline: “President sings the blues...”
8) Chris Brown and Rihanna: Three years after Brown beats Rihanna, they release remixes of current songs featuring each other. And radio programmers get religion and play the tracks, declaring “judge not, yet ye be judged.” #ratingsareourgod
9) Eminem: A leaked audit from his digital royalties lawsuit shows that he would be owed millions from his label should the jury see things his way. It’s not sexy, but should he prevail in the trial that starts April 4, the labels will end up paying out tens of millions to artists in a recalculations. Who’s Shady now?
10) One Direction: Vocal group has the highest debut on the Billboard 100 for a U.K. act in 14 years as “What Makes You Beautiful” bows at No. 28. Let the latest boy band resurgence begin.