I really thought there was absolutely nothing, and I mean nothing, in this world that could make me nostalgic for the original Ace of Base. I was wrong.

You remember them, right?  The co-ed Swedish synth act had their moment in the ‘90s with such hits as “All That She Wants” (which, it turns out, was a baby….), "The Sign," and “Don’t Turn Around.” The songs were fluffy, totally disposable and everywhere. Then they seemingly drove off in a Volvo back to the Ikea store that manufactured them and were never heard of again except for on oldies radio.

Well, they’re back…sort of. The two men in the group have resurfaced with two new female singers (cough, cough), who, how do we put this nicely, look like they’re young enough to be the dudes’ daughters and are definitely not there for their singing abilities.  Plus, as you’ll notice, in the oldest, most boring sexual trope in the world, they’re seductively clutching each other in one shot. Oh, puhleeze.

“Mr. Replay,” which borrows the melody from “All That She Wants,” makes that song sound deep—which we didn’t think was possible. We have no idea who’s singing lead. Ace of Base 2.0 is really Ace of Base ½.

Listen if you must, but what we really want to do it warn you: ”Don’t turn around,”  Ace of Base may be gaining on you.