"The Real Housewives of Atlanta"
It's hard to say whether or not tonight's episode of "The Real Housewives of Atlanta" measured up to the fanfare of the Golden Globes (be sure to vote on the best and worst red carpet looks here), but in any case, it was still an episode of high tension, fortune telling and gun fire, so let's hope you set up your DVRs if you missed it. More importantly, NeNe, Sheree and Kim were all forced to make nice with one another, which might be one of the signs of the coming apocalypse. Consider yourself warned.
We start things off with family bonding. At a gun shop. Awww! Kroy and Kim tote their newborn to a gun shop so that Kim can learn how to handle weaponry. Kroy patiently explains to the couple standing behind the gun case that of course, he knows guns because he's from Montana (is that a rule or something?) and Kim, obviously, doesn't. He says this as if we should know by looking at her that she couldn't possibly know how to fire a gun. Because she wears wigs? Because she has an anti-NRA tattoo somewhere on her body? Kim doesn't seem the least bit offended by this, but then, she's sleep deprived.
In short order, Kim gets a lesson in firing lots of different guns and just loves it. And when she finds out she can get a 9 mm with a pink handle? She's over the moon. It's all very heartwarming if you consider a hot date to be shopping for weaponry with your baby daddy. I'd prefer dinner and a movie, but whatever.
Next, we see Cynthia and Peter on a double date with Phaedra and Apollo, which seems destined to go horribly wrong given that Peter and Apollo had a smackdown at Kim's ridiculous baby shower. But, oddly enough, things go surprisingly smoothly. Cynthia wonders if she and Peter might be able to learn something from these two, as they're another "odd couple" who seem to be able to make it work. I'd suggest Cynthia would sooner learn something from a marriage counselor given that Peter has control issues that don't seem to be going away anytime soon, but hey, at least they all had a nice lunch.
But the real point of this lunch is for Phaedra to reveal she's planning an all-girl trip to South Africa. Cynthia thinks it sounds like a grand idea. Phaedra wants to invite all the girls, and Cynthia can't wait to tell NeNe! Oh, Cynthia. After lunch, Cynthia calls NeNe to tell her about the trip. Doesn't that sound like fun? NeNe thinks it sounds like hell on earth and no way is she going anywhere with Phaedra and the rest of the gang. I suspect the producers of "The Real Housewives of Atlanta" have a different take on this, however, so I'm expecting NeNe to suck it up and change her mind in short order.
But before NeNe can swallow her pride, she gets to have her ego stroked by John from Famous Famiglia Pizza. He's her business partner in her new lounge, though I'd take him more seriously if he stopped buying her shoes all the time. NeNe seems to think she has John wrapped around her little finger, but I think if anyone's the sucker here, it's probably NeNe. John is hoping to get laid, of course, but I don't think that rules out the possibility of him screwing her over or trying to make a fast buck at her expense. Actually, they're probably perfect for one another.
Time for more fun and games. Kandi and Phaedra go to African dance class, then gossip. Kandi just wants everyone to get along. This does not mean, however, she needs to get along with Marlo. She shows Phaedra a collection of Marlo mug shots she's found on the Internet, which freaks out Phaedra. Her husband may have a record, but a woman with a record for assault? That's not okay with her. I would think Phaedra might see a future customer for her legal practice, but if she wants to be all judge-y, that's her prerogative.
Kim and Kroy, who are apparently getting along too well to generate plotlines on their own, have to go to Kim's psychic. They find out Kim and Kroy will be married forever (although, one of them could just die really, really young), Kim will have another little girl, and Kroy is very anxious. So, we know the psychic watches "The Real Housewives of Atlanta."
Time for another filler segment! Sheree and Phaedra go to the Apex African Museum to learn about slavery. This should be an educational opportunity, except Sheree and Phaedra get the hots for a slave mannequin and keep trying to find out if he's anatomically correct. This does not seem to amuse their tour guide, who is trying to tell them about slaves being beaten, imprisoned and dying in mass numbers. But she does direct them to the gift shop, so all ends well.
Phaedra asks Sheree if she'd come to Africa if NeNe joined the trip, and Sheree admits she can put on her grown woman panties and deal with it. Phaedra hopes Africa will elevate everyone to college level fights from the high school squabbles they're currently stuck on. I was thinking the fighting was more like grade school, what with the choking and the screaming, but maybe Phaedra's high school was a little more dramatic than mine.
But before anyone can start packing their bags for Africa, Kandi decides to have a big, group dinner that includes her mom, Miss Joyce. Kim and Sheree ignore NeNe and NeNe ignores them, so all's well -- until Miss Joyce decides to start playing matchmaker. NeNe, say hi to Kim. Kim, say hi to NeNe. Sheree, say hi to NeNe. Be friends again! Make an old woman happy! NeNe looks like she's ready to beat an old woman unconscious with a chair, but she and the other girls reluctantly say hello to one another. Still, that's not enough for Miss Joyce. She wants to know if they can be friends again. NeNe explains to her that she and Kim are over for good, and Kim adds that she and NeNe are divorced. I'm not sure why Miss Joyce thought she might have special healing powers, or that it was just as simple as getting everyone together for a group hug, but these divisions run a lot deeper than she seems to realize.
Still, the dinner does get NeNe to concede the point we knew she had to concede at some point -- she might, in theory, be interested in going to Africa. Kandi is thrilled! This had nothing to do with the show's producers or NeNe's contractual obligations to the show! It's a big, carefully orchestrated happy ending, and it seems that next week we'll see NeNe heading off to the airport -- with Marlo in tow. Oh, this is not going to be a happy vacation, is it?
Do you think Phaedra's trip to Africa is a good idea? Do you think NeNe and Kim will ever be friends again? Do you think Phaedra and Sheree were being disrespectful in the Apex African Museum?
NeNe is sick of Miss Joyce.