Okay, let me try to grasp this -- Kalia and Porsche are now the power couple in the Big Brother house? The two floaters who've been napping week in, week out? My head is spinning. While I try to grasp this, we might as well find out what's going on in the house. Actually, before we can do that, we're going to be treated to a rewind so we can see the entire process of how Jeff ultimately got the boot -- and had his good pal Shelly turn on him. I'm not sure if I can stand to see it, as I was rooting for Jeff to go at least a little further in the game, but let's just get it over with.
Shelly tells Rachel that Jeff threw the cornhole competition, which prompts Rachel to ask Jeff if he, indeed, threw the cornhole competition. Doesn't everyone in the house know at this point that Rachel is like a pasta strainer when it comes to gossip? Jeff lies and tells Rachel he didn't throw the competition, as he doesn't want to deal with the girl losing her mind completely, but the bug has been planted -- Jeff realizes he can no longer trust Shelly.
What follows could almost be a master class in how to bully people into feeling sorry for you and/or thinking they're crazy, as Shelly does her best to convince Jeff Rachel's lying/he's acting like a five-year-old/he's repaying her loyalty with abuse/you name it. Of course, I say almost a master class, because Jeff isn't buying Shelly's nonsense. Jeff calls Shelly on allllll her lies. He notes that she's tried to make final three deals with pretty much everyone in the house. Shelly spins and threatens and insults with the frantic intensity of a fallen despot trying to talk herself out of death by firing squad. While Jeff is pretty calm (albeit loud) in making his case that Shelly's a lying scumbag, Shelly cries, shrieks and generally acts like the victim. Her family must be so proud of her.
Thankfully, we quickly cut to Jeff's eviction. Kalia is so happy to evict Jeff! And do it by her own hand! Oh, go take a nap, Kalia.
Following Jeff's eviction, Jordan is bereft. Rachel is bereft. And Shelly is bereft! Porsche and Kalia try to reassure Shelly that she's done the right thing. But Shelly feels she's lost not one friend, but two! Even though she voted one of those friends out of the house! Not that she has regrets, of course. She's doing this for her FAMILY. Just so everyone's clear, it's fine to be a lying, backstabbing jerk, just as long as you're doing it for your FAMILY. Got that? Good!
Jordan feels stupid for having trusted Shelly and, yes, whines about it a little to Rachel and Adam. Shelly not only listens at the door, she slams into the room and begins yelling at Jordan. Yes, she yells at Jordan, as I guess Jordan is at fault for Shelly having the moral compass of a convicted serial killer.
Jordan, who for some crazy reason does not enjoy being yelled at tries to get away from Shelly, who follows her like a virus through the house. This causes Jordan to eventually lose her cool in a surprisingly big way. Screaming at everyone in the house, she says she can't understand why everyone's doing Daniele's bidding, as "her season was four years ago, and who gives a bleep if her dad's dead." You can fill in the bleep yourself. Wow. When Rachel has to tell Jordan she's not being herself, you know things have gotten crazy.
I have to say, I feel for Jordan. Her only friend in the house is the same person she wanted to smother with a blanket earlier in the season and the person she gave a treasured phone call home to (Shelly) is a backstabbing dirtbag.
HOH competition! Well, this will be interesting. I suspect Rachel and Jordan aren't going to perform well as they're both such emotional messes at this point any challenge that requires concentration, balance or focus is just going to be beyond their grasp.
It's a ball balancing game that involves snakes. How apropos. Adam and Porsche get the lowest scores in the first round and must go head to head. Adam promptly gets knocked out. Does this guy not suck at anything? Rachel is knocked out next. When did Porsche become a player in this game? Porsche knocks out Shelly. It's down to Jordan and Porsche. And Porsche, unless something unexpected happens, is going to win it, as she's now had enough practice to become a professional ball balancer. You can feel free to make your own joke here, as I'm not touching this one. And yes, Porsche wins it. Dammit!
Adam decides to switch allegiance to the newbies. It really is curtains for Jordan and Rachel at this point.
But wait! There's a twist! Porsche opens Pandora's Box and discovers that, while she gets a chunk of money, it's at a price -- the duo rule is reinstated. The hamsters quickly pair up, with Porsche choosing Kalia, Rachel and Jordan choosing one another, and Shelly and Adam getting stuck with their mutually useless selves.
Rachel and Jordan see a light at the end of what had been a very, very dark tunnel. If one member of the duo wins the POV challenge, that means the duo is taken off the block. It's only a glimmer of hope for Rachel and Jordan, but at this point, that's all they're going to get. Kalia, of course, wants to wring Porsche's neck, but I will hand it to "Big Brother" -- this game has definitely delivered on twists.
Do you think Shelly's playing fair? Why do you think Adam is so lousy at challenges? And do you think Rachel and Jordan can save themselves from the block?
Everything: Big Brother
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