Recap: The bachelors are off to Phuket on 'The Bachelorette'
Are you still recovering from the ridiculous drama of “The Bachelorette” last week? I think Ashley, is, too, although I wish we could get that memory erasing gizmo from “The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” to flush Bentley completely out of her system. I’m guessing, if she’s watching these episodes, she’d probably go for it. Heck, she may be smashing away at her skull with an old garden brick as we speak. Not only must she want to wash that man right out of her hair, she probably wants to follow up with full body laser dermabrasion and a flea bath chaser.
Date card! Constantine is the first go get a one-on-one date in Phuket. Nick hopes it rains all over his romantic little date. I think Nick will get his wish. Ashley and Constantine are going to take a boat to a private beach, but the boatman tells them, in Thai, that the waves are too big to go out. Constantine suggests they shop for Hawaiian shirts. Because the Thai are well known for their Hawaiian shirts? Ashley thinks an ornate temple is so cute! These wacky foreigners and their cuddly little religious practices! Ashley declares everything at the local market cute. Then, she and Constantine decide to awkwardly mingle with the natives. They talk to an old man and ask him how long he’s been married. Thirty-six years. He says the key is not trying to win fights with your spouse. They have learned so much from these wise but simple and poorly dressed indigenous peoples! That little meeting wasn’t set up by the producers at all!
But Constantine isn’t done with Ashley yet, no matter how boring their date may be. They have a beer at a sidewalk bar. Constantine tells Ashley he’s not thinking about winning a competition. He’s all about finding true love. Ashley is all about thinking about Bentley. But she feels chemistry with Constantine, which may just be Thai beer, we can’t be sure. But Constantine had fun on this horrible, soggy date, and Ashley hopes he doesn’t notice she was feeling off. She wants to tell Constantine about her feelings for Bentley. Oh ma God, Ashley, shut up!