Credit: Lifetime Television
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I would call tonight's episode a hare-brained idea, as I'm not sure I have an appropriate porcine equivalent (all porked up?), but I think I'll just get to the point. As Angela awkwardly informs our judges (and by the way, I'm still trying to give her some wiggle room to get her footing as a hostess, but I'm beginning to lose hope), tonight's challenge will be dressing international celebrity Miss Piggy. The designers all seem to be falling over with excitement about this, which is endearing but also makes me think they're horribly sleep deprived and a little punchy. I can't imagine most designers stay up at night, praying that some day they'll be able to dress a foam puppet, but maybe the All Stars are just that wacky.
Angela adds that Miss Piggy needs a headline-making cocktail dress to wear while she's walking the red carpet, promoting her new film. Michael can't WAIT to meet her, because she's fashion's dream client. He knows she's puppet, right?
The designers sketch furiously. Mila wants to make Miss Piggy '60s mod. Kenley loves Miss Piggy, as she reminds her of herself. No comment.
The designers dash off to Mood, where Austin and Gordana are going with pink, whereas a lot of designers are choosing black. I have to say, I think color is a good thing for Miss Piggy. Adds some pink to her complexion.
As everyone puts together their outfits, Austin thinks everyone's having fun with the challenge. Well, really, what choice does anyone have? They're dressing a damn toy, for crying out loud. I'm not saying it's not fun and everyone does love Miss Piggy, but if you don't have some sense of whimsy about this, you're kind of missing the point. Gordana is going with a free-flowing design instead of something structured. Mondo doesn't think Gordana's dress fits the challenge, and I have to agree. Miss Piggy needs some va-va-voom, and Gordana's making a dress for a model. It also appears to be so short that Miss Piggy would be showing us, well, pork butt.
Although All Stars has been a mostly peaceful, none-too-catty season, suddenly Mondo and Kara start fighting over pink gloves. He doesn't want to argue about it, so he gives in, but he's pissed off. Wow, Mondo, at least stand up for yourself! I have to say, Mondo hasn't seemed like himself this season. Everything he designs is '60s retro, he doesn't seem to be having fun and I dare say his heart isn't in it. C'mon, Mondo! We're rooting for you!
Meanwhile, Mila doesn't know how she'll translate her point of view into the Porcine One. Here's an idea: monochrome color blocking. Isn't that her entire POV anyway? April, having been in the bottom two, is now driven to do her best. She doesn't talk to the other designers or spend time goofing around. I appreciate her sense of focus, but I'm worried she's so nervous about bottoming out again she may start playing it safe.
Mila thinks Kenley is needy for other people's opinions, and she finds Kenley and Kara to be co-dependent on one another. Well, don't worry Mila, no one will ask you for your opinion. Well, not unless they want to make a black-and-white bedspread or something.
Joanna Coles comes in to be mentor-y. I've noticed we always get to hear from a designer about how helpful she is. Because we never see her being all that helpful on screen. Mostly, she seems to ask leading questions that make the designers quiver with fear, then wanders off to terrify someone else. Man, do I miss Tim Gunn.
Joanna gets a nightgown vibe from Gordana's dress. Gordana thinks Miss Piggy will be comfortable. Joanna thinks that's not the point. BECAUSE SHE'S A PUPPET.
Mila tells Joanna she's going to create a headband. Joanna reminds her Miss Piggy has pig ears, and she may want to design around that element.. Damn pig and her delicious pig ears!
Next, we move on to Kenley. Joanna wonders if a pig will want to wear a giraffe print. Kenley points out that Miss Piggy has no problem wearing leopard print. Touche, Joanna! Touche! Of course, I'm not sure how many people really want to wear a giraffe print after the age of two, but that's another issue altogether.
Austin thinks Miss Piggy has been an inspiration to him. He say moi, just like her! He tells Joanna about his plans for a big bow on the butt of his dress, but Joanna wants him to make sure Miss Piggy doesn't look giftwrapped. Although bacon can be a lovely gift with the right presentation, I'm sure.
Mondo is going with a '60s vibe. Joanna seems unimpressed. I'm not sure a simple shift dress is very wow, but I do love the fabric. Still, I'm sticking to my theory that Mondo just isn't excited about doing the show again. Even he thinks his dress looks heavy and overthought, and recognizes that he'll have to do a lot of work to salvage it the next day.
Kara has another dust-up over the accessories wall. Kara accuses Austin of stealing her gloves and pearl necklace. Austin and Kara go back and forth, and it seems like Kara manages to win yet again. I'm not quite sure how anyone could steal accessories -- do they have to stay on the wall? Couldn't she have left them at her work station? I'm not sure who's in the wrong, but I will say Kara probably needs to be more organized.
Runway time! Our judges are Georgina Chapman, costume designer Eric Daman and, of course, Miss Piggy.
I'm not loving this. It definitely fell into the realm of costume once he added the weird hat.
This looks very young -- too young. And the high waist and racer back just scream juniors department. Also, why all black? This didn't say Miss Piggy to me at all.
Too, too busy. Ornamentation, a busy print, feathers, lace? Aack, my eyes!
Although I do like how she matched the piping to the gloves, this shows a little more skin than I'd expect for a busty pig.
Yes, this is the same silhouette Kenley always designs, but I think it's actually a good fit for the pig.
The feathers are unexpected and the silhouette is actually very flattering. I think too few of the designers took into consideration that Miss Piggy is, well, voluptuous. Yes, they were dressing models, but if she's the intended target, play up her curves without making her look like a Mack truck.
This is very sweet. I'm not sure he needed the crap on her head, but it's cute.
This is sleek, mod and makes no sense for Miss Piggy whatsoever. Unless she's going to a costume ball as Twiggy.
Her nightgown is cuter than I expected. But, still, too simple and it doesn't look expensive at all.
What's with the bows slapped on each hip? Oh, no! Terrible!
I get it. He loves the 60s. But this is only okay.
Austin, Rami, Gordana, Kenley, Mila and Michael are called out. They're the top and bottom designers. Everyone else is safe.
Austin goes first. Georgina thinks it's beautifully constructed but thinks the colors are unhappy. Eric thinks the bows are going to make Miss Piggy's hips look big. YES! Angela thinks there's something in the construction that's throwing off her eye. Let me help -- TWO BIG BOWS. Miss Piggy thinks hula hooping might be difficult.
Rami talks about his polka-dot organza. Georgina loves that he went for it. Her only criticism was the seams down the front. Eric thinks it's Parisian hog couture. Miss Piggy does not like the dig! She thinks it looks like a candy store exploded -- and she loves it.
Gordana talks about her kids. Angela thinks it's too understated. Georgina thinks it's pretty but it doesn't fit. Miss Piggy doesn't think it's her.
Michael defends his weird dress. Georgina thinks it works. She likes the zipper in the back. Angela thinks it should have been pink. Miss Piggy thinks it looks like a present for Kermie.
Angela thinks Mila skipped the flamboyant aspect. Georgina thinks the lack of color is a problem. Eric thinks she needed color. Miss Piggy doesn't think it screams Miss Piggy.
Kenley is next. Georgina loves the color but worries about the top construction. Eric thinks it's cute and whimsical. And he thinks that the hat hides her ears. Miss Piggy is offended! But she likes the hat, because she could use it to clean her pots and pans.
Everyone agrees Austin's bows were unfortunate. Miss Piggy thinks Mila's dress was a little goth. Georgina thinks she didn't consider the challenge. Miss Piggy thinks it's a costume. Angela says Gordana's dress was too gray.
They liked Kenley's dress, but Eric thought the construction was dubious. Miss Piggy's iffy on the giraffe print. Eric thinks Rami's dress was whimsical. Georgina thinks Michael's styling was off. Pretending to be fed up with Eric's constant jabs at her ears and various other piggy parts, Miss Piggy karate chops him. This is entirely scripted but will bring back fond memories for anyone who ever watched "The Muppet Show."
Time for results. Kenley is… safe. Rami and Michael have the highest scores. Miss Piggy will be wearing… Michael's dress to promote "The Muppets." Seriously?
Austin is… safe. Gordana is… going home. I can't say I'm broken up about his, as she's been circling the drain since week one. Her designs really did tend toward the drab or the tacky, which was true of her original season as well.
Gordana is looking forward to going home and unleashing herself. Or something. She hopes she inspires women her age to follow their dreams. While I appreciated the fact that both Gordana and Sweet P
were representing the mature female designer, I have to say their work was pretty disappointing.
Did you think it was Gordana's time to go? Did you like Michael's dress? And what did you think about the Miss Piggy challenge?
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