Although part of me expects the results of tonight's show will be pretty predictable, I am wondering if Nancy Grace will survive into the semifinals simply because of the rumor that people were going to vote for her simply because Len was so harsh in his comments. I'm not sure that's a great reason to keep someone on the show, but really, this season the results have been so haphazard, I'm not sure it's not just as acceptable as any other reason.
We kick things off with the female pros dancing to "I'm A Woman" which could also be subtitled "I Could Be A Stripper if Legit Jobs Dry Up" but isn't.
Yay, a DanceCenter moment. I used to love those SportsCenter ads. So dry, so funny, so smart. So why are these bits so damn awful? They're corny, the guys dress up like homeless schizophrenics given access to glitter, and every joke is tired. To wit Jerry, Kenny and Len tease Tristan into saying third over and over again. He's Irish, so he doesn't pronounce the "h." So, yes, a poopie joke. What are these guys, ten? I hate to see Len, who usually seems so dignified, make such an ass of himself.
Up first are Hope and Maks, J.R. and Karina and Rob and Cheryl. The first couple to make it into the semifinals is… J.R. and Karina. Duh. Hope and Maks, also in the semifinals. Rob and Cheryl… in jeopardy. Good. Although Nancy is clearly the worst dancer still left in the competition, I wouldn't cry if Rob went home, either.
Another DanceCenter bit. Jerry and friends imply Ricki wants to nail Derek, then they imply J.R. likes Broadway too much (hint hint, nudge nudge). Wow, that's not insulting or cliche at all! They make fun of Rob Kardashian for constantly talking about how he attended USC (okay, I was fine with that one). But, largely a waste of time.
Andrea Bocelli, the blind Italian tenor, performs. I guess it's fine if you like him.
Oh my Lord of the Rings, more DANCECENTER. Egads. Nancy was a cheerleader. Hope posed naked (so Len poses naked). Oh, Len, we don't like you because you have a sense of humor, we like you because you're cranky. Oh, and they beat the whole "this is my show" comment by Maks into the ground a little more, because we haven't heard similar punchlines for WEEKS now. Seriously, this is ruining the memories I have of every laugh-out-loud funny SportsCenter ad I've ever seen.
We see a snippet of Cirque de Soleil's new Michael Jackson show and, as expected, it looks pretty phenomenal. I'm sure the price of a ticket is phenomenal, too, but I suspect it's worth it.
Flo Rida performs "Love Can't Handle Me" and "Good Feeling." Dancers dance, fog fills the stage, it's all good. But let's move on, please. Results!
We recap Ricki and Derek and Nancy and Tristan and learn nothing new, but I guess they need to eat up more time (and there's a limit to how much DanceCenter they can make us watch before people turn the channel, I guess). Ricki and Derek are safe, Nancy and Tristan are not. As if we couldn't guess this much.
So, it's down to Rob and Cheryl and Nancy and Tristan. They're not necessarily the bottom two, Tom reminds us. Who else could have been in the bottom? Come on! The couple going home is... Nancy and Tristan. Wah-wah. Yes, she was the weakest dancer, but some part of me is just annoyed that FrankenRob Kardashian is continuing into the semifinals.
Nancy thanks Tristan and stokes his cheek, and I have to wonder if he's just relieved that his suffering is over. He ends up making a longer thank you speech than Nancy does, but I think he earned it.
Do you think it was Nancy's time to go? Are you happy with the semifinals line-up? And who do you think is going to win this thing?
Everything: Dancing with the Stars
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