The 'Bachelorette' is in Hong Kong
It's the dot-dot-dot episode! I'm hoping that upon seeing Dirtbag Bentley face to face again, Ashley will decide to kick him to the curb, but I doubt it. Yeah, she says she wants a clean break, closure, whatever, but we know she just wants to run off into the Hong Kong sunset with the guy who thinks she’s, at best, a second string 2 a.m. booty call. This can’t end well.
Chris Harrison greets the men to inform them they’ll be staying at the luxurious Conrad Hotel in Hong Kong! Plug, plug, plug!
Meanwhile, we get a lot of blathering from Ashley about all the reasons she can’t get over Bentley. She’s so afraid of not being able to find love! Well, it doesn’t help when you get hung up on a guy who offers you ellipses instead of commitment. Honestly, Ashley got all the closure she needed when the guy walked off the show. But no, she needs him to spit in her face and pull her hair to get the hint.
Anyway, Chris Harrison visits Ashley in her hotel room wearing a look of dread that clearly says “I can’t believe I’m discussing Bentley with Ashley AGAIN.” He tells her he’s afraid she’ll reject one of the amazing guys she has left (hint, hint, Bentley, not amazing!) because she’s still obsessing over Jerkface. Then, he cuts to the chase – he’s had Bentley shipped out so she can get her stupid closure. And he’s in her hotel! Right now! Ashley reacts like she just won “Wheel of Fortune.” But she has no idea how she’s going to feel. She doesn’t want to convince him to love her! Yeah, Ashley, don’t worry. He thinks you’re gross, basically. Chris gives Ashley Wesley’s room number and tells her to go talk to him when she’s ready. But she needs time! To think! And fix her hair! Because you know she really doesn’t want closure at all.
The meeting between Ashley finally takes place. She knocks on his door, he opens it, they talk. She believes in fate. Maybe he came into her life to teach her something! He tells her he thinks they’re on the same page. Really, Bentley? You think Ashley wants to be a 2 a.m. booty call, too? Ashley sort of tentatively pokes around, trying to get Bentley to say he loves her or wants to be back on the show or something. He’s missed the show! And her! He didn’t realize how cool the travel opportunities were going to be! Even though Bentley is doing all he can to avoid saying he’s not that into her, Ashley hints that he needs to man up and turn the ellipses into a period. Finally, Bentley implores her to see what she has going with her other guys. He tells her to call it a period. She blinks a few times. She doesn’t get it. Why did he come all this way just to tell her he’s done with her? He wanted to see her. No, he wanted to see Hong Kong, duh. Awkward silence. Finally, she leaves the room.
In the hallway, Ashley vents. She finally gets it and can’t believe she wasted so much time on him. Hallelujah! He knows exactly how to talk to a girl to make her believe what he wants her to believe! Yes, yes, so true! This must be what it was like to be Annie Sullivan teaching Helen Keller how to sign water. You can practically see the lightbulb turning on above her head. He disrespected her to the core! She actually says “Bentley, if you’re watching this, f--- you, I’m done with you,” to the camera. I’m so proud of Ashley! Because I was starting to think she was just stupid.
Anyway, Ashley feels like a weight has been lifted. She chooses Lucas as her first one-on-one date, and they’re going to wander around the city. But Lucas is not a city boy. He’s never been to New York City. Initially he looks sort of frozen and uncomfortable, as if he’d just walked into a gay bar or a sushi restaurant. Ashley, who’s just feeling SO good having gotten Bentley out of her system, doesn’t seem to notice She suggests fun things for them to do, like eating spicy pig intestines. To his credit, Lucas chows down.
Back at the hotel, Ryan, Mickey, Constantine, Ames, Blake and Ben get the group date invite. And that means J.P. gets the one on one! What? Blake’s never had a one-on-one and Ryan’s was so long ago it hardly counts. But then, I think Ashley’s been looking to kick Blake to the curb for a while, and we know she’s hot to trot for J.P., so no surprise he’s the first guy to get a second one-on-one.
Back on the boat, Ashley gives Lucas a rose. And a kiss. Lucas makes Ashley feel like a woman. How Shania Twain of her!
The next day, the group date is going to be a dragon boat race! She divides the guys into three teams of two, then informs them they’ll need to recruit local people who may or may not speak English to help row the boats. What is this, “The Amazing Race”?
Ryan P., who’s teamed up with Blake, comes up with the idea of getting a translator. Smart! Ben and Constantine have no plan beyond wandering around talking to people. Ames and Mickey actually find people who are into dragon boating. Blake realizes that Ryan, whom he hates enough to go all “Marathon Man” on his teeth, is pretty awesome at recruiting people. Ben and Constantine give up hope and go shopping for outfits. And for some reason, that attracts people to row for them. I’m guessing producers just found some people and gave them twenty bucks to get on the boat and wave some paddles around.
Mickey and Ames are rowing their hearts out. Ryan and Blake are rowing their hearts out. Constantine and Ben are singing “Row, Row, Row Your Boat.” It’s funny how Mickey and Ames believe that winning the race will make a difference with Ashley. I don’t think Ashley gives a crap who wins, so you might as well be charming and funny, like Ben and Constantine. At least they look like they’re having fun.
Someone gets engaged on the beach nearby. Ashley thinks it’s a sign! Personally, it seems kind of weird and random and I don’t know why so many people are present for a proposal, but that’s just me.
Time for group date cocktails. Ames hijacks Ashley to make out in the elevator. And boy, he isn’t kidding around. Go, Ames! Ben F. makes out with Ashley next. Ben can’t believe he’s falling in love. I guess there was some sort of memo among the guys that this is the date when you get to make a move on Ashley. She certainly doesn’t seem to mind.
Meanwhile, Blake is hating Ryan some more. Mickey is hating Ryan. Everyone hates Ryan. I think everyone hates Ryan because he’s a frontrunner in this competition, because I can’t for the life of me see what’s so wrong with him. He’s enthusiastic and upbeat. So what? Anyway, Ashley gives Ryan the group date rose. Ben thinks Ashley hasn’t experienced the Ryan he can’t stand. I think Ben has been spending too much time with Blake, and Blake hasn’t been spending enough time with Ashley to realize he’s on the way out.
Time for J.P.’s solo date! He feels alive with Ashley. He tells her it feels meant to be between them. She asks him stupid questions like when was the last time he cried and he talks about his ex, then quickly points out he’s totally over his ex. He is the total package for Ashley. And she has to tell him about the whole Bentley episode. Oh, Ashley. Don’t do it! But he’s cool with it. In the process of telling him she basically says he’s the frontrunner, so he should be cool with it.
Time to the pre-rose ceremony cocktail party. Since J.P. took the news about Bentley SO well, Ashley can’t wait to tell all the guys! Ashley! Man, do you sometimes watch this show and want to reach through the television and shake this girl or what?
Not surprisingly, it doesn’t go as well this time around. Ben basically tells her she’s a liar. Lucas says she should have said something earlier and that he thinks this is weird. Everyone seems a little overwrought, given that this is a dating show, but Ashley did put her foot in it by pointing out that she’s been thinking about someone else for WEEKS during every date she’s had. These guys are nice, Ashley, but they do have egos.
While Ashley goes off to cry, J.P. stands up for her with the guys. Ryan doesn’t spend a moment griping or defending because, eye on the prize, he decides it’s time to talk to Ashley. I would totally buy solar paneling from this guy. He’s clearly smarter than your average bear. Or dating reality TV competition contestant.
Meanwhile, Ben is pissed that Bentley got a one-on-one by coming to Hong Kong. That’s one way of looking at it, I guess. I think Bentley was calculating his frequent flier miles the whole time he was talking to Ashley, but if that’s your idea of a great date, so be it. Lucas is MAD. He feels Ashley is wasting his effing time. And he doesn’t say effing. Ames sits down with Ashley and he’s pretty sanguine about the whole mess. He says life isn’t a simple fairy tale, and that’s what makes it beautiful, so he’s cool. Blake isn’t cook, however. He doesn’t want to feel like he’s second fiddle to anyone. Has he noticed there are other guys on this show? Ben says he’s done. Lucas is kinda done. Oh, boys. Now you’re just being pouty. If you leave now, you totally miss out on more of Asia!
Blake sits down with Ashley to tell her he’s pissed. I don’t get Blake. He seems to think he’s closer to Ashley than he really is. Ashley cries a little. He hugs her. She doesn’t want to hurt anyone! Good going, Blake.
Mickey’s next in line to vent his feelings to Ashley. He feels like she lied to everyone. He’s questioning why he’s here. He can’t understand what she saw in Bentley. And if he was what she was looking for, she should send him home. Whoa, Mickey. Ashley looks a little irritated and tells him he should just go home and not wait around to be picked off. So, Mickey gets into a little boat and leaves. I can’t decide if Mickey shot himself in the foot by acting on his initial angry impule or if he was right to jump ship because her behavior fundamentally changed how he felt about her, but it does make the rose ceremony a little quicker to get through.
Ashley cries after Mickey leaves and addresses her remaining guys. She cares about them so much! She sits down with Chris Harrison and cries. She tells him she doesn’t know how to do this! It’s so hard! Ashley may need to stop hitting the white wine. Just a thought.
Anyway, she pulls it together long enough to decide who to auf.
Ben F. gets a rose.
Constantine gets a rose.
It’s between Ames and Blake. Give the rose to Ames! You made out with the guy in an elevator, for crying out loud!
The final rose goes to… Ames.
Blake thought he’d be around next week but not so much. The fact she brought Bentley around means she recognizes what it feels like to have a connection and he now sees he didn’t have one with her. Yeah, we all saw that. He’s looking for a friend and doesn’t know what she’s after. But he realizes it’s not him. Can’t say I’m sorry to see Blake go. He seemed to be inordinately angry with poor, happy Ryan P. and he was right – he never connected with Ashley. Though they could have had a nice dental practice together.
Next week, they’re off to Taiwan. Whoo! Then Fiji! Lots of tears. And it looks like things may not end well. Which won’t surprise me if Ashley keeps bursting into tears and making disastrous decisions like spilling her guts about Bentley in a nice group forum like she did this week. What happened to that plan of telling the guys one on one? That worked so well the first time!
Do you think Mickey made the right decision? Do you understand why the guys hate Ryan? Do you think Ames is emerging as a contender?