Welcome to Reality TV Roundup -- a quick look at some of the reality TV-centric stories that have recently popped up across the fine, old Interwebs. Click away, my couch potato friends. But before you do...
 
SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! One more time: SPOILER ALERT. If you watch "The X Factor," "Survivor," "Top Chef," "Project Runway" or any other competition shows, the latest elimination for each show is probably revealed in the text below. The hope is that, if you missed this week's program and would rather clear out your DVR than watch the episode, you can get a quick hit here. But don't come crying to me if you find out something you didn't want to know. You've been warned. Also note: lots of non-competition reality info lurks below, too. 
 
COMPETITION REALITY SHOWS 

SURVIVOR
Kourtney Moon is diagnosed with cancer and is still having problems with her broken arm. 
 
Sometimes, contestants can find a crew member to give them fire from a cigarette lighter. No kidding. 
 
THE AMAZING RACE
 
According to Phil Koeghan, you'd be "crazy" not to watch Brendon and Rachel of "Big Brother" on this season of "TAR." I think he meant they will make us crazy AS we watch.  
 
 
THE VOICE
 
The blind auditions continue -- and Cee-Lo is stocking up his team quickly
 
Cee-Lo has plans afoot for a solo album as well as a Goodie Mob album later this year. 
 
THE BACHELOR
 
Ben is still entranced by Courtney -- the question is, why?
 
If Ben does end up with Courtney, the good news is they've already broken up. Allegedly. 
 
Chris Harrison is shocked that America doesn't like Courtney. In other news, Chris Harrison has recently learned that the sky is blue. 
 
Emily wouldn't have wanted to take Ben home to meet her family anyway. 
 
AMERICA'S GOT TALENT
 
Host Nick Cannon's mild kidney failure may not be so mild -- he's quitting his radio show to get better. 
 
X FACTOR

Since Whitney's no longer in the running, Janet Jackson may be stepping into Paula/Nicole's shoes
 
 
AMERICAN IDOL
 
Another two hours devoted to Hollywood week -- which is starting to feel as if it's being shown in real time. 
 
TOP CHEF
 
The chefs are given incredibly silly, non-food related challenges to close in on the final three. 
 
 
PROJECT RUNWAY ALL STARS
 
Tim Gunn and Nina Garcia will be lending their talents to the Oscar pre-show. We miss you on "Runway," Tim! 
 
Even though Mila's outfit is Early Hooker, Kara gets the boot. Go figure. 

 
NON-COMPETITION REALITY TV SHOWS
 
 
THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS
 
The reunion that will not end slogs on -- and Kim gets the last word. Kind of. 

Taylor Armstrong says she didn't write her book for money. Uh-huh. 
 
 
THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ORANGE COUNTY
 
Vicki's party gets fishy thanks to her Cajun theme. The ladies are not amused. 
 

THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ATLANTA
 
Even Marlo tries to behave herself when the women visit an orphanage in Africa
 
 
MISC.

Anderson Cooper has the "Toddlers & Tiaras" moms dress up like their demon spawn. You may scream now. 
 
"Pawn Stars" tries to lowball a woman trying to sell a script for "The Godfather" -- only for her to turn around and make a mint at auction to benefit charity. So there. 
 
Kim Kardashian is none too thrilled with the idea of a public divorce. Oh, and Kourtney is still mad that everyone suspects her dad wasn't really Robert Kardashian.