Reality TV Roundup: 'Real Housewives' get canned, a 'Survivor' pouts and a 'Big Brother' star dreams big

It's been another big week in the 'real' world

"The Real Housewives of New York City"

 "The Real Housewives of New York City"

Credit: Bravo

Welcome to Reality TV Roundup -- a quick look at some of the reality TV-centric stories that have recently popped up across the fine, old Interwebs. Click away, my couch potato friends.

What the hell? "The Real Housewives of New York City" has just canned Jill, Alex and Kelly. I never cared for Jill (who did?), but she always stirred up drama -- and we all know the franchise is nothing without squabbling and catfights. Bad decision, Bravo.

So, Tyra Banks has a celebrity pick for "America's Next Top Model." And the only reason this is even of passing interest is it's fun to imagine Tyra trying to boss around someone who actually has a career. 

Anderson Cooper gets a spray tan with Snooki. I'm not sure if this is kind of hot (Anderson Cooper does have quite the musculature) or wildly depressing (he used to be a real reporter once, didn't he? Didn't he?). This may be his Barbara Walters "what kind of tree would you be?" moment. 

 
"America's Next Top Model" all-star Lisa D'Amato talks "Celebrity Rehab." She didn't have a problem, but she went on the show to prove that she didn't have a problem. Really? Last I heard, you needed a problem to get onto "Celebrity Rehab," unless Dr. Drew's standards have so completely slipped he's just taking any D-list has- been (who isn't Michaele Salahi) who shows up at his door (and I'm not ruling out that possibility). So, Lisa, are you telling us you were stone cold sober when you peed in your diaper on "America's Next Top Model"? Because I'd prefer to believe you were wasted. I think we'd all prefer that, really.  
 
Before anyone gets too excited about Rachel winning "Big Brother" (and I'm not saying you are excited), know where the money is going -- Rachel wants sequins and glitter at her wedding. It's so true what they say -- money can't buy taste. 
 
As the first to be kicked off "Survivor" this season, Semhar thought her teammates were "cold-hearted." Maybe they would have warmed up to her if she could get a damn coconut into a basket. Just a thought, Semhar. You can dwell on that while you're cooling your heels on Redemption Island. Work on your throw!
 
 
The other "Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" stars are shocked by Taylor's post-beating photos. Well, that's a relief. 
 
OH MY GOD, will someone just take the Salahis to a deserted island and deprive them of their cell phones? How desperate are these people to get any kind of press? In any case, it's good to know Journey still attracts groupies. 
 
Some say it was the worst season of "Big Brother," but note that the show got the series' best ratings since 2004. I wouldn't say it was the worst season, as an incredibly dull and predictable game started spinning around pretty crazy like in the last few weeks (Kalia and Porsche! Jordan and Rachel! Kalia and Porsche! Jordan and Rachel), but oh well.
 
Adam thinks he had a shot at winning "Big Brother" if he's just won the last HOH. Really? Because the other hamsters really loved bacon? Or Tori Spelling? Help me out here. Didn't Adam just float along 
 
Kate Gosselin tells her ex that reality TV IS her job! So there!
 
 
Liane-bonin-starr-sm
Liane Bonin Starr is an author, screenwriter and former writer for EW.com. Her byline has appeared in the Los Angeles Times, Variety and a lot of other places. Her last book was called "a scandalously catty, guilty pleasure" by Jane magazine. Expect the same from Starr Raving.
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