Welcome to Reality TV Roundup -- a quick look at some of the reality TV-centric stories that have recently popped up across the fine, old Interwebs. Click away, my couch potato friends. But before you do...

SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! One more time: SPOILER ALERT. If you watch "The X Factor," "Survivor," "Dancing with the Stars," "Top Chef," "Project Accessory" or "America's Next Top Model," the latest elimination for each show is revealed in the text below. The hope is that, if you missed this week's program and would rather clear out your DVR than watch the episode, you can get a quick hit here. But don't come crying to me if you find out something you didn't want to know. You've been warned. Also note: lots of non-competition reality info lurks below, too. 



It's a tie on "Survivor" following the merge, as both teams stick to their alliances. Until Cochran flips, and Keith is out. Read more here:
How could Cochran turn on his team? Deleted scenes reveal all.
Ousted cast mate Mikayla Wingle talks "Survivor: South Pacific." And pre-chewed pork. Ick.
The teams must haul tobacco and had the option of making trucks out of milk cartons. And no one went home. No joke.
Host Phil Keoghan has his own luggage line. Well, that does make sense. 
The first act going home is InTENsity. I suppose they lacked… intensity. Still, Paula's very, very proud of them.
And Simon and Paula had words of encouragement for them. Aww. 
I hope you're sitting down. Fox confesses that there's lip-synching on "The X Factor." I know, I know. It's a terrible shock for everyone.
Simon defends Stacy Francis and slams Dexter Haygood. So there!
This week on "DWTS" was spooky in both good and bad ways, and not just because of Halloween. Justin Bieber performed, David Arquette was eliminated and Ricki Lake continued wiping the floor with everyone.
But it's okay. David never thought he could win, anyway.
Chaz Bono is totally gonna sue the National Enquirer. Not for calling him an Ewok, but for suggesting he's going to die soon.
J.R. Martinez will be the Grand Marshal for the Rose Parade. Yay!
Twenty-nine contestants flood Texas. A bunch of them get sent home (like Tyler, the standout idiot)-- and some get a second chance thanks to "the bubble." Go, Edward! And Grayson!
In case you were worried Padma's kid was wandering around the "Top Chef" set, sticking her fingers into sockets, she's fine. 
Past winner Richard Blais used to be fat.
They made shoes this week. SHOES. And Kelly's awful yellow ones got her sent home.
Know what "PA" host Molly Sims carries in her purse? A whole lotta crap, really.
Alexandria has trouble making love to a car and gets sent home.

Want to smell like one of America's next top models? Hopefully one who smells good? Buy the fragrance! 
Dana and Brandi rap. Not really.
HIghlights from Mohammed's ridiculous engagement party.
Halloween may be over, but see how Brandi and Dana dressed up. Brandi's costume? Slut pig. I'm not making that up. 
Conan O'Brien officiates a gay wedding on his TV show. The best part? Free wedding video! 
Kate Gosselin is writing a blog. For a couponing site. Money must be TIGHT.
Kris Jenner swears that Kim Kardashian didn't make a cent off her wedding. Huh.
Or, she made over $10,000 an hour for her marriage. Hmmm…
Well, at least E! is trying to get their money's worth out of the wedding -- by rubbing salt in Kim's wounds. Oh, well!
Gordon Ramsay ALWAYS talks dirty. But that doesn't mean editing can't make it dirtier.
"Survivor" winner Ethan Zohn's cancer is back. But he's still running the New York City marathon. Go, Ethan!
Liane Bonin Starr is an author, screenwriter and former writer for EW.com. Her byline has appeared in the Los Angeles Times, Variety and a lot of other places. Her last book was called "a scandalously catty, guilty pleasure" by Jane magazine. Expect the same from Starr Raving.