Are you going to watch Charlie Sheen be roasted on Comedy Central?
Comedy Central's roast of Charlie Sheen airs tonight (at 10 p.m., ironically just one hour after Ashton Kutcher makes his debut in Sheen's old spot on "Two and a Half Men"), and while I'm sure the show will bring in decent enough ratings, I have to wonder who's going to be watching. It's not a question of whether or not anyone finds the roasts funny (plenty of people do). It's a question of whether we can stand any more of Charlie Sheen's latest semi-sort of-not really apologist tour.
Granted, we've gotten a whole lotta Sheen in the last year. First there was the meltdown, then there was the ignominious exit from "Two and a Half Men," followed by tiger's blood and Adonis DNA and goddesses, oh my. For a while, he was the car accident we couldn't look away from. It was even possible to appreciate Sheen's willingness to bite the hand that fed him, a move both ballsy and insanely self-destructive in equal parts.
But the thing about car accidents is they're usually over quickly. Sheen Tweeted, he went on tour, he did interview after interview. After a while, everyone got tired of the warlock (or became uncomfortable with behavior that increasingly seemed to reflect not just drug or alcohol use but mental illness) -- unfortunately, it took Sheen a while to figure it out. And now, after a (very brief) break, he's back.
In theory, this should be his mea culpa moment -- humbled by his lack of income and the disdain of the public, he's supposed to stumble back into the public eye, his tail between his legs, reassuring us he's not crazy, he feels awful for calling Chuck Lorre a troll and he was drinking/off his meds/ drunk on attention/doing crack with hooker and thus not himself, etc. Of course, any excuse would be met with skepticism, but this is the dance we're used to. Big star screws up, big star realizes work has disappeared, big star does whatever necessary to win back the hearts and minds of fans and Hollywood -- which is usually a testament to their acting skills more than anything else. God knows Sheen has done it many, many times before.
But this time around, even though Sheen clearly understands the need to do this Hollywood shuffle, his heart clearly isn't in it. In his recent interview with Matt Lauer, he danced around tough questions (though he did finally admit he "would have fired his a--, too") and offered goofily saccharine testaments to his renewed love of family (referencing a "lonesome tear" running down his cheek and living life in "the moments inside the moments"). During the Emmy Awards, he took the stage as a presenter and wished those associated with "Two and a Half Men" well, but in such a tone that it was hard to think he meant one word of it. All he needed to do was wink and roll his eyes to let us know that, well, duh, he's still winning.
1995 | Mystery | NRSummary: Denzel Washington plays an out of work WWII vet who takes the wrong job and is soon neck-deep in a mess of politics, murder, and jazz in '40s Los Angeles.Director: Carl Franklin
Cast: Denzel Washington, Tom Sizemore, Jennifer Beals
2013 | Comedy | NRSummary: Insanely funny comedy show created by Amy Schumer, who stars in brilliantly funny sketches about sex, city living, dating, and friendship.Director: Daniel Powell, Amy Schumer (creators)
Cast: Amy Schumer, Kevin Kane, Mike Houston
2007 | Comedy | PGSummary: Newlyweds Nick (Ice Cube) and Suzanne (Long) decide to move to the suburbs to provide a better life for their two kids. But their idea of a dream home is disturbed by a contractor (McGinley) with a bizarre approach to business.Director: Steve Carr
Cast: John C. McGinley, Ice Cube, Nia Long, Aleisha Allen
1996 | Crime | RSummary: Jerry, a small-town Minnesota car salesman is bursting at the seams with debt... but he's got a plan. He's going to hire two thugs to kidnap his wife in a scheme to collect a hefty ransom from his wealthy father-in-law. It's going to be a snap and nobody's going to get hurt... until people start ...Director: Joel Coen, Ethan Coen
Cast: William H. Macy, Frances McDormand, Steve Buscemi, Peter Stormare
2013 | Drama | RSummary: Leonardo DiCaprio and Jonah Hill have boundless energy in the story of a real-life commodities crook who earned millions through scummy small-time stock trades.Director: Martin Scorsese
Cast: Leonardo DiCaprio, Jonah Hill, Margot Robbie
1997 | Crime | RSummary: Quentin Tarantino adaptats an Elmore Leonard novel into this story of a few increasingly desperate people scraping to get by. It has deep soul, a wicked sense of humor, and Samuel L. Jackson, Robert De Niro, Pam Grier, and Robert Forster.Director: Quentin Tarantino
Cast: Pam Grier, Samuel L. Jackson, Robert Forster
2013 | Thriller | RSummary: Based on the true story of Daniel Lugo (Mark Wahlberg) a Miami bodybuilder who wants to live the American dream. He would like to have the money that other people have. So he enlists the help of fellow bodybuilder Adrian Doorbal (Anthony Mackie) and ex-convict, Christian bodybuilder Paul Doyle (D...Director: Michael Bay
Cast: Mark Wahlberg, Dwayne Johnson, Anthony Mackie, Tony Shalhoub
1993 | Sports | PGSummary: Emotionally powerful sports classic featuring Sean Astin as a skinny high school kid with big football dreams and the determination to make his way towards his dream team at Notre Dame.Director: David Anspaugh
Cast: Sean Astin, Jon Favreau, Ned Beatty
2008 | Science Fiction | PGSummary: Animated series continues the story of Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker as they battle the Emperor Palpatine, Count Dooku and General Grievous, but also takes time to explore other smaller characters in the Star Wars universe.Director: George Lucas (creator)
Cast: Tom Kane, Dee Bradley Baker, Matt Lanter
Let Streaming Genie help you.