Welcome to The Morning Read.

I dunno... I'm not feeling it this morning.  There are some good things out there to read, but even after spending a couple of hours sifting through content this morning, I feel like it's one of those days where there's a whole lot going on, but very little of it interests me.

I mean, I've seen some people online getting hot and bothered about the Russell Brand remake of "Drop Dead Fred," and my first thought is "Pick your battles."  When we begin to express outrage over creatively bankrupt adaptations of creatively bankrupt originals, we lose the right to ever seriously be angry about anything.  I don't care if they remake it as S&M-themed Nazi snuff porn... the original can't be tarnished because it was junk.  And, yes, I know.... every movie is someone's favorite movie, and somewhere right now, there's a girl who has the Phoebe Cates haircut who has modeled her whole adult life after the film, and she's pushed herself into a corner where she's gently rocking while she strokes her Rik Mayall doll and softly repeats, "It can't be happening... it can't be happening..." but she's most likely got larger problems to deal with than some package deal that nets Russell Brand a paycheck and a bit more momentum in his American career.  He's a talented guy, a funny guy, and I'm sure there are really good hit movies in his future, but this can't possibly be one of them.

And speaking of Russell Brand, I find that there are all sorts of oddball little things you can pick up if you're monitoring the right Twitter feeds these days.  Frank Marshall revealed that there's going to be a teaser trailer for "The Last Airbender" in front of "Transformers 2: Revenge Of The Fallen" this summer.  That's pretty cool.  And the great Fatboy Roberts posted a link to a site where you can download an updated version of the classic computer game "Adventure 2600."  Geeky?  Yes.  Worth playing?  Absolutely.

[more after the jump]

And everybody and his brother have run the link to this video of a bunch of schoolkids singing "Eye Of The Tiger":

 

 

Holy cow.  That's a bunch of kids singing "Eye Of The Tiger"!

I kid.  That's actually pretty great, and it's amazing how a song that cheesy and overused becomes somewhat moving based on who's performing it.  If we're talking about kids online who deserve attention, though, I'll take Evangelical Preacher Baby for the win:

 

 

Whatever the hell that kid is saying, he means it.  100%.

Hey, who wants to chip in with me to buy McG an extra-large bottle of "Shut Your Crazy Mouth"?  I am nothing if not impolitic.  It's my greatest flaw.  I am not a political animal.  I frequently speak my mind at the wrong time.  I have burned down more relationships than most people have formed.  When I can recognize that someone else is a lunatic blabbermouth, they must really be rocking it.  I know that both Michael Bay and McG have movies coming out this summer featuring giant robots (although that's a minor element of "Terminator: Salvation," and McG would be wise to downplay how much of that audiences can expect), but how does that translate to McG actually challenging Bay to a dick-measuring contest?  And how much do you think Warner Bros. wants to turn the focus of their promotional campaign away from their director's dong and back to the actual movie?

By the way, McG, Michael Bay wears ridiculously tight pants, and the man's a carnival freak.  Drop the challenge.  You'll lose.

Noah BaumbachFunny man.

Hey, Twitchfilm just ran a new trailer for Bong Joon-ho's "Mother," which is screening at Cannes next month.  I am dying to see this film.  He's one of the great directors working right now.  Both "Memories Of Murder" and "The Host" knocked my socks off, and I'm counting on "Mother" to do the same.

 

 

Yes.  Want.  Now.

This makes me laugh, especially since I just watched the new BluRay of "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" yesterday.  Great print, and the film really does stand the test of time.  One of the best things Hughes ever touched.

I'm curious to see how artists continue to bend the Internet to their commercial will, and I think things like this are a great indicator of how people can make a living in new ways, using old skills.

I've decided:  Ray Bradbury is never, ever, ever allowed to die.  I'm sorry, but I will accept no arguments on this issue.

And as long as we're voting people eternal life, I think this world is an infinitely better place to live in as long as Werner Herzog is still part of it.

I'm not sure William Goldman needs eternal life... he might get too annoyed by Hollywood after the first 150 years or so... but he sure is great, and the combination of him and Joe Queenan is a winner.

Good.  We may be in the midst of a sea change on who owns what and how people can use things and digital rights in general, but I think we can all agree that you should have the basic choice as to whether or not your face is used to sell products if you're a celebrity.  I hope Woody Allen ends up owning American Apparel based on how shitty they've been about this entire thing so far.

This entire interview makes me sad, but it also makes me like Gary Coleman a bit more than I used to.  I can't imagine putting up with the garbage he must be facing every single day.  Fame can be a nightmare, especially when everyone's focused on one thing you did almost 30 years ago, to the exclusion of everything else in your life.  I still wish he and Emmanuel Lewis could work out whatever personal issues keep them from starring in that crazy Gary Coleman/Emmanuel Lewis action/buddy/comedy I read last year, but only if they both really want to.  There's the potential for something really crazy in there.

Sasha Grey continues her march towards world domination.  Just wait till that Rolling Stone cover hits.

BluRay is a loooooooong way from dead, but this is proof that, in the tech geek world, no matter how good things are, there's always something better being teased that's just around the corner.

I love Vern.  I love that he's signed up for Twitter and seems to barely know what to do with it.  More importantly, he's taken a step into the world of vblogging, and the results are suitably ridiculous:

 

 

Take that, Latino Review, with your slick production values and your early information.  It's so much better when it sounds like Stephen Hawking is telling you about the script for "Machete."

My heartiest congratulations to my friend Patton on the birth of his daughter.  She's gonna melt your cynical heart, my friend.

If you work in a legal department and you're about to send someone a cease-and-desist over a movie trailer, you might want to take a moment and read this first, and ask yourself if your letter's going to help anything, or if you're just gradually burning down every single bit of goodwill that might exist towards that product you're eventually hoping to sell.  I'm not saying people shouldn't protect their legal rights, but as I said at the start of the column (bringing us full circle for the morning), pick your battles.

And on that note, I'm off to finish my war against this week's DVD column, which so far appears to be decidedly kicking my ass.

The Morning Read appears here every day, Monday through Friday.  Except when it doesn't.

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