Let’s do our best to keep our players straight, here: A bitter ghost of a Spanish peasant has taken over Marnie’s body, so Marnie is Antonia now. A happy singing dead Creole lady is currently operating Lafayette. And Eric Northman is under the influence of a nicer, more clueless version of himself. Downside: The new Eric is kind of boring. The upside: He’s getting laid like the dickens.
But will his romance with Sookie last? Or will some other personality move into his body like a college summer sublet? Let’s find out, shall we?
Back to the scrum at the cemetery! Sookie has been whisked off by a whipped Alcide. (In case you’re confused, Sookie’s body is currently unoccupied; she’s still Sookie inside, not a dead Creole lady or anything. She is, however, shot.) Bill joins in the effort to save the girl by offering his blood. Eventually she walks up just fine.
The witches have reconvened back at the Moon Goddess Emporium. Holly, who is still Holly, inside and out, is pissed to notice that Antonia has brought Eric with her. Antonia doesn’t care what Holly thinks. She’s all, whatever, this vampire is my thrall, go wash your face, undead Viking.
Tara doesn’t like this whole witch-on-vampire war strategy. Neither do some of the other witches, and they try to bail. But Antonia won’t let anyone leave now. Things are taking a decidedly Jonestown-esque turn.
Luna and Sam are still hanging out. But she invites Sam to bail before Marcus decides to turn into a wolf and rip out his spinal column. Don’t be silly! Sam suggests that the three of them go campin’ instead -- you know, shape-shifter logic! Luna’s thinks it’s awesome!
Poor Debbie. She quit drugs and got all sober for nothing, because, look, here she is, all clean and everything, and Alcide still cannot stay away from Sookie and her vampire drama. Debbie is in bed when Alcide comes home and gets nekkid, but she will be having none of that hotness. Within 24 hours she’ll be back on V again.
Jessica goes to Nan to cry about Hoyt. Pull it together, girl! Nan doesn’t want to hear your white girl vampire problems! Enter Bill, who is there to make sure everybody gets wrapped in silver again. Nan is displeased. Nan is also confused to hear that Bill has let Eric live. (She is not alone.) But, mostly, Nan is obsessed with an upcoming rally, a sort of togetherness event that’s supposed to boost the vampires’ collective image. Bill doesn’t what the hell’s Nan’s problem is. Jessica looks on forlornly while Bill and Nan snipe at each other.
Mornin’, Hoyt! How’d you -- oh, man, don’t do that, Hoyt. Don’t pack up all of Jessica’s stuff in a box and then label said box with the words, “For you, Monster.” That’s just mean. Why you gotta be so mean? See? Here comes Lafayette. See how happy Lafayette looks. He’s occupied by a singing Creole lady and he’s not packing stuff in a box and calling people monsters. And, uh, Lafayette also just walked in your door. Apparently the dead Creole lady thinks she lives at Hoyt’s house. She pulls a gun on Hoyt and runs him out.
Arlene and Terry, naturally, are freaking out over the disappearance of l’enfant diabolique. Hoyt calls and lets everybody know where the kid is, and they all run over there. Andy, of course, needs a hit of V first.
Sookie is in dreamland! She imagines a world where she’s dressed like a French perfume commercial and vampires can get gad about during the day and Bill and Eric just do whatever she says and git along. She announces that she is in love with both of them and that she would like them to share her. It’s a dream, so they agree to this suggestion and get to groping her.
Tommy is at Merlotte’s. He’s real sorry for all that shagging-Luna-while-skinwalking business, and he’s trying to craft an apology letter to his brother when Marcus pads into Merlotte’s. Marcus is looking for Sam, and leaves word that the elder Merlotte should come to a werewolf biker hangout. Tommy takes the contact info. What could possibly go wrong?
The cops show up at Lafayette’s door. Lafayette isn’t home, of course, but the squirrelly baby-napping singer lady is. Andy busts in and Creole Lafayette takes a pot shot. Arlene and Terry arrive and ask Lafayette what the hell. But he ain’t Lafayette, fool! He’s Mavis!
Terry doesn’t care who has his baby. Just give him the baby. He runs up toward the house in a dangerous manner and Andy tackles him. Terry spits out some very mean things to Andy, saying his brother is jealous of him.
Ahh, camping! Emma indicates she’d rather be a shifter than a werewolf so that she can turn into a bunny. She just wants to pet a bunny, so Sam turns himself into a bunny for Emma.
Back at the home of Hoyt -- that is, Lafayette, that is, the singing, baby-napping dead lady -- Jesus arrives. He tries to diffuse the situation by going into the house and saying the right name: Mavis. Jesus announces the obvious: You’re dead, Mavis! (That’s not a threat or anything, Mavis. You’re just really dead.) This revelation upsets the spirit within Lafayette, and Mavis asks for help locating her own baby. Jesus cranks up the brujo magic to see what can be seen. Apparently the Creole lady is buried under a tree right outside. The demon baby is returned to the Bellefleurs.
Debbie is high on V and pissed off about, you know, everything. She shows up at Sookie’s acting creepy and offering vague promises of help. Apparently it’s on the up and up. Sookie assures Debbie that Alcide loves the werewolf girl, not the fairy.
Alcide had changed his mind about moving up in the pack. He goes to Marcus’s werewolf biker hangout to pledge fealty. Well, that’s excellent, because Marcus could really use some help vis a vis this Sam situation. Would Alcide mind standing behind Marcus looking menacing whilst Marcus parlays with Sam? Hey, sure, it’s all good.
When Sam finally arrives, of course, it isn’t Sam but rather Tommy. Tommy is doing a sort of penance: As Sam, he says that his brother shagged Luna, not Sam. All the biker werewolves except for Alcide and Marcus beat the skinwalker up. Tommy turns back into Tommy. Whoops.
Oh, poor singing spirit lady. Under the tree, Jesus and Hoyt dig up her remains, and those of her bebe mon petit. Mavis’s spirit is finally freed, and Lafayette is once again Lafayette.
Lo, what is this? Debbie arrives at the Moon Goddess Emporium pretending to pledge the werewolves to the cause of the witches. But it’s a ruse. Sookie is really sneaking around in the back, among the santeria candles and whatnot. She finds the lobotomized Eric, who reveals he’s been programmed to kill Bill. Wait a minute. Did Debbie just sell Sookie out? Either way, the recon flops. Using mind-to-mind communication, Tara helps Sookie and Debbie escape. But Tara and Holly and the rest of the witches are still Antonia’s hostages.
Jason helps Hoyt repair his house and learns Hoyt’s new nickname for Jessica. Then Hoyt naively asks Jason to bring Jessica her stuff.
So Jason goes to give Jessica her stuff. Needless to say they git it on. In his truck, no less.
The hour of the vampire tolerance love-in arrives. Bill is there. So is Nan. And so is Eric, now programmed to kill Bill. Some fashionable vampire sheriffs almost stop Eric, but Eric is backed up by Antonia. Then Sookie arrives, ready to save the day -- but, oh no! Too late! Eric is on the warpath!
Who will live? Who will die? And who will be next to get occupied by a bitter long-dead singing ghost? We’ll have to wait until next week to find out.