Oh, my. In the very last episode of 2009 before “The Vampire Diaries” takes an agonizing two month hiatus, we get threats, walk-offs, and bloody moments galore – along with some very tantalizing hints at supernatural events to come. Can you say, werewolf? Mystery vampire? How about Stefan and Elena finally hooking up, or the sight of BOTH Salvatore brothers shirtless? Dig in, folks. You’re gonna want to re-watch this one.  


[Full recap of Thursday (Nov. 19) night's "The Vampire Diaries" after the break...]


We pick up where we left off last week, with Logan the Undead News Guy on Aunt Jenna’s doorstep. He looks rather chipper and kinda pale…and he wants to be invited in. Bad idea. Jenna slams the door in his face, and Logan’s out of luck… until he finds a tasty neighborhood local on an evening jog and decides to have a snack!  
Oh, geez. Another voice over – but this time it’s Jeremy reading from his ancestor’s journal, not Elena or Stefan moping to their diaries. Please don’t let this become a thing. The pages of the old journal are filled with notes and drawings of strange creatures, which we assume are Gilbert’s recollections of the times back when corseted vampires ran amuck in Mystic Falls. But what’s the deal with the sketch of a goat man? I hope it’s not a sign of things to come. Jeremy starts feeling arty and sketches a version of a drawing he found in the journal.  

Aunt Jenna asks Elena what’s the deal with Stefan. Things are at a standstill, she explains, since Stefan is about to pull an Edward Cullen and leave town. Jenna tells Elena that her scumbag ex Logan is back in town.  
At the Salvatore mansion, Stefan and Damon discuss their respective plans to leave Mystic Falls. Damon thinks he might go to London and visit friends, before suggesting they ride off into the sunset together. Or try out for The Amazing Race, which would be awesome. The brothers’ repartee is interrupted by Sheriff Forbes, who needs to speak with Damon privately about the latest victim of vampire attacks. Damon is genuinely surprised at the news, since he and Stefan were the only bloodsuckers left in town.  

At Mystic High, new sorta-couple Caroline and Matt are turning heads in the hallway talking about a recent night spent together watching “So You Think You Can Dance.” How finger-on-the-pulse! The sight of them together is so WEIRD, even Tyler notices. Elena and Bonnie discuss it, deciding that Matt is just the kind of nice guy Caroline needs, after dating a psycho vampire. How nice it is to speak freely about their supernatural secrets! Elena and Bonnie are so BFFs.  

Bonnie’s still a little freaked out about being attacked by Damon, but has abandoned her anti-Stefan stance since he saved her life and all. Elena doesn’t know what to do, since she knows he’s only breaking up with her to protect her. She thinks asking him to stay would be too selfish. But you know what? At least she’s not collapsing in a heap in the forest and getting depressed for months on end. Still, when Bonnie suggests it’s all for the best, Elena walks off in a huff. Aaaand that’s the last we see of Bonnie until next year!

Stefan and Damon figure out that there’s a third vampire in town. Stefan feels a duty to stay now and protect the town. He shows up at school to see Elena, who stops dead in her tracks. I would, too! The longing is palpable. For a second, Elena thinks that Stefan’s here to deliver an epic goodbye convo, but he’s actually here to have a brainstorming session and warn her about the mystery vampire. Whew! Stefan tells her that Damon is tracking the vampire, and that he’s just postponing the goodbye kiss-off.  

Tyler and Matt are playing a sweaty game of basketball. Actually, they are playing HORSE. How adorable! Tyler grills Matt about Caroline, who shrugs off the suggestion that they’re more than casual hang-out friends.  
Jeremy shows Aunt Jenna his scary monster sketch inspired by Johnathan Gilbert’s journals. Stupid, inconsiderate Jenna cuts him off by dismissing J. Gilb as a fiction writer who liked to make stuff up. She pulls one of his books off the shelf and gives it to Jeremy.  

Caroline meets with Damon to give him the Gilbert pocket watch compass, which was last seen when Logan the News Guy bit it. Damon asked her to use it for him to lead him to something, because he is unable to use its magic himself. He enters the warehouse that the compass led him to, and is ambushed and shot by a smiling Logan the Undead News Guy!

Logan has shot Damon with wooden bullets. Lots of them. He takes particular delight in unloading them into Damon, partly because he thinks Damon turned him into a vampire. But Damon doesn’t understand how it happened, since he only bit Logan – and as, we all learned during the Vampire Vicki affair, you have to ingest the blood of a vampire and then die in order to transform. Logan’s a bit frustrated to learn this, since he’s been learning on the job ever since waking up with a blood thirst, six feet underground. He’s really quite resentful, actually, but it’s amusing; a douche bag human, transformed into a douche bag vampire! Some people never change.  

A comically irate Logan tells Damon his frustrating newborn story: he went to his house and couldn’t go in, because there’s nobody else to invite him in. HA! Genius. He holed up at a hotel and watched pay-per-view all day until he got so hungry he ate a few cleaning ladies. He finds that he keeps thirsting for humans and killing them, and he likes it, and admits to a bewildered Damon that he’s getting quite conflicted about the whole thing. He’s been killing people left and right and hiding the bodies in the warehouse. Damon practically *facepalms* when he learns this. Obviously, newborn vampires need a little help.  

Mayor Lockwood and Sheriff Forbes have an incognito meeting about the vampire problem in the middle of a crowded career fair at the high school. As they reach for free beverages, the school mascot comes into view behind them: the Mystic Falls Timberwolves! Are you trying to tell us something, writers? Are we gonna have us some hot, shirtless werewolf action soon on “The Vampire Diaries??”

Over at an art display, Jeremy catches Tyler leafing through some drawings. He teases Tyler, who doesn’t seem like an art-loving kind of guy. Tyler leaves, miffed, and as he’s walking away Jeremy sees that the totally awesome comic book-style sketch on the table was drawn by Tyler himself.  

Elena catches up with Matt and asks how he’s doing. She confirms that Stefan is breaking up with her, which The Entire World knows would make Matt do little cartwheels of joy on the inside. Elena asks what’s up with Caroline, and Matt once again brushes it off. Caroline watches them talking and walks the other way. Elena and Matt’s brief moment is interrupted by Stefan. To paraphrase another wannabe fang-banging girl we all know, “Don’t make her choose – because it will always be him!”  

Back at the warehouse, Logan the Undead News Guy is straight up stealing the episode. He’s a rollercoaster of emotions, and can’t stop thinking about Jenna. “I want to be with her, and bite her and stuff,” he whines. Damon explains that it’s probably because Logan loves her, because when you’re a vampire you feel everything times 100 percent. In other words, vampires are SO emo! Damon, perhaps after all of the hectic recent happenings with new vampires gone berserk, tells Logan that he’ll have to learn to control himself.  
But Logan’s quite a curious cat, and he wants more than anything to know how it is that Damon and Stefan are able to walk around in the sunlight. Damon instinctively tries to hide his precious magical day-walking ring. Logan explains that everything the town vampire hunters know comes from journals passed down from the founding fathers, but he never read anything about going in the sunlight. As things get heated, Damon demands to know which vampire turned Logan, but neither will budge. Logan shoots Damon again and takes off to go kill some people.  

At the career fair, Stefan and Elena talk. Elena realizes that he’s trying to protect her, but that just makes things more muddy between them. Stefan opens up to her and tells her that he once wanted to be a doctor (a la Carlisle Cullen!), but his vampire circumstances prevented him from staying in one place for more than a few years. As she always does, Elena takes away only the most negative parts of their conversation, dwelling on the fact that Stefan can never really settle down, including with her. What a girl! Vampires are from Mars, women are from Venus. Stefan, of course, has no idea what he said wrong.  

{Where is the steamy Elena-Stefan sex scene we were promised in last week’s promo tease? Get to it already, people! Ahem.]  

Elena and Stefan’s private talk is interrupted by Aunt Jenna, who announces that Undead Logan is here. Stefan perks up, putting two and two together. They exchange ominous glances across the crowded hallway. Elena and Jenna join them to see what the H is going on (and I could swear Nina Dobrev calls Paul Wesley “Stefano,” but maybe I’m just having aural hallucinations) but Stefan quickly sends the girls off towards safety. Elena totally gets his unspoken message, proving how compatible they are! Ok, I just want to see them hook up already. Sorry.  

Undead Logan grills Stefan on the day-walking issue, and threatens to expose the Salvatore vampires to the entire town. Stefan steps up to Logan’s throw down, and in a quiet, controlled, incredibly sensual voice, tells him to back the F up! YES! Stefan sacking up! What a glorious sight. Stefan walks off, and I do believe I detect a little swagger in his step.  

In another hallway, Elena stops Jenna to warn her against ever talking to Undead Logan again. However, she fails to explain why, or that Jenna’s ex is now a bloodthirsty vampire. Their convo is interrupted by Hot Teacher Alaric Saltzman, he of the old timey name, dashing good looks, and oversized magic-looking man ring. Gasp! Now we begin to put two and two together – could Alaric be the mystery vampire who turned Logan into Undead Logan?

Outside, Stefan is catching up on the Logan situation with his brother via cell phone, which brings us to Shirtless Moment of the Night #1! A bloodied Damon stares in the mirror while he tells Stefan how mad he is and, more importantly, takes off his shirt. Stefan tells Damon that Undead Logan is at the school, and Damon heads over to join them.  

Still at the career fair, Caroline brings her mom over to the broadcast journalism booth to show her the career path she’s chosen. Personally, I think it’s a perfect fit. Caroline the News Anchor! In a subtle piece of positioning, the broadcast journalism booth is directly opposite the way from the law enforcement booth, indicating that Caroline is choosing an opposite life path from her own mother. Burn. Sheriff Forbes is not impressed, and Caroline walks away hurt.  

As Caroline leaves, Undead Logan confronts Sheriff Forbes. He’s mad because, after he was attacked, she buried him and sent fake emails to his friends and Jenna telling the world that he was leaving town. Seeing as he’s alive now, Sheriff Forbes deduces that he’s now a vampire. He threatens her before walking off.  
Jeremy catches up with Tyler in an attempt to bond with him over art, but Tyler, whose feelings are probably still hurt since he’s a secret artist type, rejects the gesture. To add insult to injury, Tyler calls Vicki a slut, which leads to yet another Jeremy-Tyler fistfight. That Tyler is one volatile kid.  

Out in the parking lot, Caroline’s ride is nowhere to be found. Undead Logan pulls up with mischief in his eyes and Caroline accepts his offer of a ride home. She wants to ask him about being a broadcast journalist! Meanwhile, Matt decorates a wall across the lot, alone. As Caroline turns to buckle her seatbelt – safety first! – Undead Logan slams her head against the window and knocks her unconscious, leaving a bloody head print on the window. This shizz just went all “Death Proof,” people.  

Mayor Lockwood takes Jeremy and Tyler outside to finish their business like men, goading them into fighting each other. Like they did in the good old days! Luckily, the good teacher Alaric comes out just in time to stop things from getting real, and the two men face off. Alaric calls the Mayor an alpha dog douche bag (ouch!), and Mayor Lockwood marches off, swearing his revenge with a mortified Tyler in tow.  

Undead Logan calls Sheriff Forbes with an unconscious Caroline in his car, threatening to turn Caroline into a vampire to get his revenge, when Stefan catches up to him and pulls him out of the driver’s seat! Damon shoots Logan with his own wooden bullets before sending Stefan off to take Caroline to safety. Together, they are the Salvatore Brothers, a fantastic new crime-fighting duo keeping the teenagers of Mystic Falls safe at night!

Damon interrogates Logan with a tire iron, trying to find out who turned him. Just as he’s about to take Logan’s head off, Logan drops a bomb on Damon: he and the vampire who turned him have another way to raise the vampires entombed under Fell’s Church. You know what that means: Katherine can still come back! Damon agrees meet Logan later to find out more, and lets him go just as Sheriff Forbes arrives.  
After taking Caroline home, Stefan finds Elena back at the school. Stefan drives home his earlier message, that he can’t date Elena because it’s too dangerous. She understands, and offers him a ride home even though he could just speed walk there in a jiffy if he wanted to.  


Jeremy finds Tyler outside to talk over the totally weird thing that went down with Mayor Lockwood. He offers his sympathy for having to deal with such an angry, alpha male dad all the time. Alpha males… so bossy and testosterone-y, just like wolves! Nah, must be a coincidence. But Tyler doesn’t want Jeremy’s pity, so he punches him in the face for no good reason. With the full moon highlighted in the sky behind him, a confused Tyler backs away. To which I say, well done, “Vampire Diaries!” Let’s get Tyler shirtless in some cutoff jean shorts, stat!


Elena drives Stefan home, and they have some real talk. She realizes her earlier reaction was way harsh, and tells him that before her mother died, she wanted to be a writer. To Elena, her life was already painful before Stefan entered her life. He gets a little emotional telling her that he’s doing all this walking away for her, and starts to walk away. Elena FINALLY mans up and tells him she loves him, and that if he’s going to break up with her for her own good, it had better be her decision, dammit!


Stefan pauses and starts to tear up. (Paul Wesley is killing it with the misty eyes!) He FINALLY kisses Elena, and then, IT is ON.  


They make-out walk their way into the house, pausing when Stefan’s vampy impulses begin to rise, if you know what I mean. He’s not sure he can control himself, and turns away when his vampire face – black eyes, veiny skin – emerges. Aww, he’s embarrassed about how he looks! How cute. In a very nice little moment, Elena shows him that she loves him, vampire face or no, and French kisses his black eyes back to normal.  
Having reached an unspoken understanding (specifically, that getting it on is so, so right), the pair head upstairs, Elena leading the way to… the bedroom! Sweet. Naked torsos and close-up sexy kisses ensue. And then, my friends, we have vampire sex liftoff!  

As if we needed any more episode to fulfill our needs, Undead Logan is confronted by Alaric in a darkened parking lot. Alaric warns Undead Logan to leave Jenna alone, and tells him that he’s not a violent guy, so this is a purely non-physical threat. Undead Logan makes a fatal mistake, turning his back on Alaric in order to scare him dramatically with his vampire face, because when he turns to attack, Alaric stakes him in the heart.  
Tyler catches up with his off and on BFF, Matt, to ask for a ride home. Matt spills the truth; he really does actually kinda sorta like Caroline, and he’s sick of Tyler’s bitching about it. Tyler, who’s been through his own secret ordeal, gently agrees to lay off.  

Elena and Stefan, now giddy with post-coital afterglow, lay in bed. Elena, wearing one of his oversized shirts, prances around the room touching all of his things and smelling his candles with unadulterated joy, until she happens upon the photograph of Katherine and realizes she looks exactly like her boyfriend’s ex. Oops.  
Sheriff Forbes thinks Damon staked Logan, and calls to thank him. Damon, who has just arrived at the old church for his mysterious raising-of-the-dead meeting, realizes he’s going to be stood up and stands in shock.  
When Stefan and his six-pack come back into the room, Elena’s gone – and she’s left behind the vervain necklace he gave her. Uh-oh. Stefan realizes that Elena saw Katherine’s photo, but it’s too late. Elena’s already speeding her way down the road in tears. A shadowy figure appears in her headlights, and Elena crashes into it, flipping her car over. As she watches in horror, the figure reanimates itself and walks right toward her!

Aaaand that’s all of the “Vampire Diaries” we get for two whole months, as the show goes on hiatus until 2010. Can you stand it?? Tune in for a marathon of the entire season so far starting December 14, before our show returns with original episodes on January 14!