Steven R. McQueen and Kat Graham of 'The Vampire diaries'
Credit: The CW
So, Klaus is the bad guy, Elijah is now a good guy, Elena has vampire blood in her system but she’s not a vampire yet, Damon seems to have a werewolf bite (and we know how THAT tends to turn out) and Elena and Jenna are at the ritual site and are looking at a whole lotta hurt. Oh, and Jules and Jenna are, it seems, the new sacrificial lambs (well, wolf and maybe-soon-to-be-vampire) for Klaus’ plan to become the ultimate hybrid werepire or vampwolf and Caroline and Matt are about to be eaten by a wolfy version of Tyler. I’m exhausted and the show hasn’t even started yet!
[Full recap of Thursday's (May 5) "Vampire Diaries" after the break...]
Well, suddenly things don’t seem so dire for Caroline and Matt, because Matt shoots Tyler. Now, that’s no way to treat an old friend! Seeing that her buddy is wounded, Caroline decides to unlock the gate. At first I think she’s going to help Tyler (he does look like a sad doggy in this state and not so mean and wolfy), but she keeps her eye on the prize and leads Matt to the exit.
Meanwhile, Damon shows Katherine his icky wolf bite. When Katherine doesn’t come up with a cure, Damon decides it’s time to jet. Katherine wants to kiss and make-up, but Damon isn’t having it. She gave Jenna to Klaus as part of his sacrifice! Yeah, Katherine may be asking too much for Damon to hug it out with her after that. Damon can’t understand how she’ll be the only one left standing once the dust has settled. She never let love get in the way! Damon tells her to enjoy eternity alone. Actually, I suspect she probably will. Damon, who always lets love get in the way, wants to offer himself to Klaus as the vampire sacrifice to save Jenna. Katherine tells him, duh, Klaus saw the wolf bite, he’s not sacrificial material anymore. No one can save Jenna! But honestly, if someone has to go, is it really so bad if it’s Jenna?
Jenna and Elena chat by the sacrificial fire in the quarry. Jenna realizes she’s a vampire just as Greta stops in to force her to drink her blood. Not surprisingly, Jenna is totally freaked out. Elena tries to assure her that everything is going to be okay, but I’m not even sure Elena is buying it at this point. Things are looking BAAAAAD and Klaus hasn’t even arrived yet.
Meanwhile, Elijah is trying to walk Stefan and Alaric through Klaus’ ritual. The plan is to wait for Klaus to drink Elena’s blood and get his wolf on, at which point he will be vulnerable to Bonnie’s witchy action. Damon calls Stefan to give him the heads up about Jenna. Alaric wants to know what he’s talking about. Yeah, Alaric only thinks he wants to know.
Greta tosses Jules in a clump next to Jenna and Elena. Jules isn’t feeling so great. Greta explains it’s because she’s slowed down her transformation, so her guts are trying to escape her body. Jeez, can’t Greta give her a witch epidural or something? Of course not, since Greta puts the “b” in witch, if you know what I mean. I cannot wait for Bonnie to kick her witchy ass.
Caroline and Matt find shelter while she interrogates him. He knew she was a vampire? Yeah, cuz he was on vervain and was spying on her for her mom. Caroline is totally freaked that her mom knows she’s a vampire. Caroline is not having a good day and it’s not even close to over yet.
John drops by to see Damon. He can’t reach Elena! Um, bad news, John.
Klaus arrives and is oh so genteel and polite about the killing and the sacrificing. He makes it seem like a friggin’ tea party, really. He starts the ritual. First step, sacrifice Jules. Jules, to her credit, isn’t taking this sacrifice crap lying down and attacks Klaus. Oh crap, did he kill her? No! I liked Jules! She had great hair and was nice to Tyler!
Alaric visits Bonnie and Jeremy to fill them in on Jenna’s fate. Bonnie wants to save Jenna right away, but Stefan informs her they’re going to offer Klaus another vampire – himself. Klaus must be getting sick of the constant delays and swapping, if you ask me. I mean, he’ll be able to kill anyone he wants once the ritual is over, so why bother?
Jenna is dancing up and down the Kubler-Ross stages of grief. She feels bad because she wasn’t a good guardian to Elena. Elena says, um, don’t sweat it, but could you run when you get the chance?
Meanwhile, Caroline is trying to grasp the idea that everyone knows she’s a vampire and they’ve only been pretending not to know for her sake. This is like wearing no one commenting on the spinach caught in your teeth, but so much worse. Caroline asks Matt if her mom wants to kill her. See? Caroline’s day just got worse if that’s the kind of thing she’s worrying about now. Then Tyler shows up on the doorstep in Tyler form, all naked and wounded and kind of hot in a former wolf kind of way.
Stefan asks Elijah if he can really kill Klaus. Well, Klaus killed the rest of their family and dumped their bodies at sea, so yeah, not a problem.
It’s time for Stefan to make his move. He zips over to the quarry and informs Klaus he wants to have a chat. Klaus, who’s really right in the middle of this ritual, agrees. Klaus is pretty casual about becoming a wolfpire or hybrid or whatever the hell it is. I’m half expecting him to take a smoke break, too.
John reveals to Bonnie and Damon that there might be a spell in the Gilbert journals that will save Elena and keep her from becoming a vampire. Her soul just needs to remain intact. Damon calls mumbo jumbo. I suspect there’s more to it than binding two souls, but at this point everyone’s out of better ideas, so soul binding it is!
Jenna listens in on Klaus’ conversation with Stefan, and then passes along to Elena Stefan’s plan to take her place. Elena is looking completely overwhelmed. Jenna looks like she’s in shock, but she’s looked that way for the last three or four episodes so it’s not much of a surprise.
Matt breaks up with Caroline. It’s not me, it’s you and your wacky vampire crap, Caroline!
Bonnie does something witchy to John to get the soul binding in motion. It kind of looks like she’s styling his hair, but I suspect it’s more heavy duty than that. Jeremy insists on tagging along with Bonnie and Damon to the sacrifice. So Bonnie kisses him and makes him pass out. And then she traps Alaric in the house while she leaves with Damon and Elijah. Alaric is so mad! Jeremy is passed out! John’s staying in the house and he’s fine with it.
Back to the quarry and all the crazy stuff going on there. Klaus isn’t interested in Stefan’s swap, because he has plans for Stefan. As in, stabbing plans, as he’s going to do something horrible to Stefan later. But he wants him alive, at least for the time being. Klaus decides that it’s time to kill Jenna! Jenna isn’t running, because she decides to bite Greta instead! And Klaus stabs her! And again! Jenna looks pretty dead. Aw, man, now I feel bad about all the mean things I’ve said about Jenna. Not really bad, as the alternative was Klaus killing someone else on the show, but still.
Time for Elena’s sacrifice. Bonnie, dammit, where are you? Klaus bites Elena while Stefan watches powerlessly. Wow, Klaus is a fast eater. Klaus staggers around, feeling his wolfy power rising up. It’s happening, he can feel it! Oh, screw you, Klaus!
Bonnie shows up and starts throwing some angry witch spell action at Klaus. Even better, Damon kills Greta, ha! Then he carries Elena over to Stefan and pulls the stake out of Stefan’s back. All the while Bonnie keeps sticking it to Klaus, who moans and writhes and basically suffers, which is fine by me. Stefan orders Damon to get Elena to safety, because he’s not leaving until Klaus is good and dead. I hope it takes a while, honestly.
Elijah steps in for the kill. And just as he digs his hand into his chest to rip out his heart, Klaus mentions that, yeah, their family? He didn’t dump the bodies at sea. They bodies are safe, and if Elijah trusts him, he can lead him to them. So, Elijah takes off with Klaus. Aaaah! The wolfpire survives!
Back at the witch house, Jeremy asks John if he realizes what the spell to revive Elena means for him. John does. He gives him a letter to pass along to Elena and his ring of protection and sighs heavily. Yup, John’s gonna die to save his daughter. Alaric doesn’t know what’s going on! Oh, come on, Rick, get with the program.
Damon takes Elena to the witch house and tells Jeremy and Alaric that Jenna’s dead. Elena gasps and comes back to life. John keels over. Wow, this episode has a high body count and it’s not even the finale!
Caroline hangs out with Tyler. Caroline doesn’t want him to leave again. But he keeps trying to kill her! Yeah, but she needs a friend since Matt dumped her ass. Caroline cries and snuggles with hot, naked Tyler under a blanket. That’s what I call friendship!
So, good news, Elena’s alive and not vampire-y but bad news, she’s in shock. Jeremy gives her John’s letter and the ring. She reads it and her big sad animal velvet painting eyes well up. John wishes he’d been a better parent. If only he’d listened to her!
Everyone goes to the Gilbert grave site and drops some roses for John and Jenna. Then Damon figures it’s a suitably unhappy time and shows Stefan his bite. Stefan tells him they’ll find a cure! Damon says there is no cure and orders him not to tell Elena. She’s suffered too much! Then Damon walks into the sunset alone. So, next week Damon suffers and… dies? Naaaaaaah. Damon can’t die, can he? Come on, we’ve suffered too much!
Do you think Damon will beat the bite? Are you sad to see Jenna and John go? Do you think Klaus is full of crap?
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