Paul Wesley and corpse of 'The Vampire Diaries'
Credit: The CW
So, it’s Elijah killing season! Or at least, that’s what Damon is hoping. He’s got his dagger, he’s got his Elijah hunting license, he’s got a few pints of Andie’s blood in his system, he’s ready to go. But will that wascally dagger do the trick?
[Full recap of Thursday's (Feb. 17) "Vampire Diaries" after the break...
Elena reads Original Jonathan Gilbert’s diaries. Sometimes he’s John, sometimes he’s Jonathan, but in this scene he’s Jonathan unless I’m mishearing something. Flashback to O.J.G.’s era. Did you know you can find a vampire with a compass? I sure didn’t!
Elena reads that O.J.G. saw the vampire who killed him. It was Stefan! But he looks mean and bloody, or at least he does in the flashback, which could be Elena’s imagination. Considering Stefan wasn’t rocking era-appropriate clothing and more of a Dean Martin look, I’m inclined to go with the latter.
Damon calls Stefan to tell him their wolfie buddy Tyler’s taken a hike. Andie’s hanging out, artistically tying a scarf around her neck while Damon’s on the phone. It seems Damon is making Andie a regular snack bar these days. Anyway, he’s excited about killing Elijah and just wanted to let Stefan know. Exposition, exposition!
Jenna takes Elijah for a tour of the woods. Alaric crashes their party because Elijah is too hot to be left alone with Jenna. Honestly, I think Elijah can do better. Elijah assures Alaric he has nothing to worry about, as both he and Jenna are on Elena’s list of Super Favorite Protected People with Cherries on Top. And Elijah isn’t into younger women. Joke! Those Originals!
Jeremy and Bonnie are hanging out at the Grille when Luka shows up, wondering what the hell they did to him. One minute he’s playing pool and the next he’s waking up in a bathroom stall! That’s what I call a bad date. Bonnie plays dumb and Jeremy scares off Luka. Poor Luka. He feels violated.
Stefan’s still mad at Elena for being all martyr-y. Elena says, well, so, you killed Jonathan (John, whatever) Gilbert. In your face! Stefan admits he did, but he didn’t realize he’d survive. Or that he had a ring. And he was so mad at him for what he did to Katherine! Stefan sounds like he’s rationalizing.
Stefan wants Elena to know the truth, but he wants her to hear it from him. Flashback from Stefan’s point of view! Back in the olden days, he was Damon-like and Damon was a dork in a bad vest with awful hair who told his brother to stop killing hot young ladies in the parlor. My, how times have changed.
Damon, Alaric and Andie have lunch at the Grille. Isn’t there anyplace else to eat in this town, like a McDonald’s or a Chili’s or something? Alaric is a little freaked out by Andie’s presence, but Damon’s compelled her to keep her mouth shut. Jenna and Elijah show up. Andie suggests a dinner party! Poor Andie, she doesn’t have the best blood flow to the brain these days. Alaric doesn’t want to go, but Jenna agrees to the invite. And Elijah is coming! Damon grins maniacally, because he’s so going to kill Elijah.
Damon visits Katherine. Who looks like hundred-year-old crap. Damon gives her blood and some new outfits. This brightens her up considerably, but I think she’s really more excited about the blood than the clothes. Damon asks her if she knows anything about how to kill an Original. She says she’s not telling, nyah nyah nyah. She may want Klaus dead, but if Elijah dies, she’ll be stuck in her underground crypt forever. So Damon mentions he has the magic dagger and some white oak ash, and she flips like a junkie being interrogated on a cop show. She begs him to get her out of her prison before he kills Elijah, because then she’ll help him. Damon tells her no deal. Damon’s so mean!
Stefan is still flashing back with Elena. She wants to know why he didn’t get caught. He tells her he was able to get away with killing people because it was wartime. And, oh yeah, he’d occasionally gobble up wounded soldiers. Yum! Oh, and he met his friend Lexi in the woods and didn’t realize she was a vampire. He’s sad thinking about Lexi, since Damon killed her and all.
Andie and Jenna set the table for their dinner party. Jenna tells Andie she really likes Alaric. But she feels like he’s hiding things from her! Andie says trust is so important, because Damon tells her everything. Not that she remembers it, being light headed and everything.
Alaric makes Damon promise not to try to kill Elijah at Andie’s dinner party. Alaric is always begging Damon to not kill somebody. Does Alaric ever have anything else to do, because he’s a total killjoy. Uncle Daddy John crashes the party. This is shaping up to be more uncomfortable than some family Thanksgivings.
Bonnie visits Jeremy and finds lots of candles. Candles can only mean one thing! It’s either a power outage or a date. Oh my God, it’s a date! Bonnie tells him they can’t date until she gets Elena’s approval. Bonnie needs to just get over herself and make out with Jeremy.
Elijah shows up at Damon’s house, ready for dinner. He warns Damon that if he tries any funny stuff, everyone in the house dies. So, time to eat! Damon, Elijah, John and Alaric have a tense and subtext-heavy chat about the ancient massacres in town while Andie and Jenna wonder what the hell is up with their dates and wish the food was better.
Elena discovers that Jonathan (John, whatever) Gilbert researched the Originals. And figured out how to kill them. And learned that the dagger has to be used by a human, because it will destroy any demon who wields it. Oops. Damon, put down the dagger! Stefan lunges for the phone. Elena doesn’t understand why. Um, well, see, Damon has this plan to kill Elijah.
As if this horrible dinner party wasn’t uncomfortable enough, Jenna’s really mad at Alaric, because Uncle Daddy John told Jenna about his dead wife.
Out of nowhere, Alaric kills Elijah. Whaa? He tells Damon he’d better clean up the body, because he doesn’t want Jenna to see it. That Alaric, always thinking ahead.
Elena’s super mad at Stefan for not telling her about the plan to kill Elijah. Why can’t Damon and Stefan be honest! Stefan wants to know why she’s giving up on life! So many questions!
Stefan recalls how Lexi showed him how to love. And hurt. And hurt in loving. He learned to fight for his survival. He wants Elena to fight for her survival!
Alaric wants Damon to stop lying to him. Elena wants Stefan to stop lying to her. I’m thinking maybe these people should stop putting their trust in the undead, but oh well.
Elena keeps reading O.J.G.’s journals. Turns out she should have turned the damn page, because you’ve got to keep the dagger in the vampire, or the vampire isn’t going to stay dead. So, Elijah, not so dead. Who would think to leave the dagger in the guy? He shows up at Luka’s dad’s place and tells him he wants Elena, pronto.
Luka’s dad breaks up Bonnie and Jeremy’s date and takes her powers. And tells her if anything happens to Luka because of her witch roofie, she’s in trouble. I’m guessing he somehow sorted out where Elena was from this visit, but we just have to figure that out on our own.
Elijah goes to Elena’s house. She wants the same deal they had! Elijah tells her no! But she’ll kill herself! Elijah calls her bluff. So she stabs herself. And Elijah freaks out. So she stabs him. Because she has the special Original Killing dagger. Wait, how’d she get that? Oh, Damon’s at the house. That sneaky Damon. But wait, Elena’s bleeding. I guess Damon or Stefan can fix this. Although I’m not sure how. There’s an awful lot happening in the last ten minutes of the show. Did we really need the subplot about Alaric and Jenna, because I would have gladly dropped that to spend a little more time on this scene so it didn’t seem like it had been written by monkeys.
Alaric needs to talk to Jenna. Jenna needs to know what happened to Isobel. He can’t tell her the truth! She can’t handle the truth! Jenna is crushed. Uncle Daddy John pops in to tell Alaric he can fix everything with Jenna if he just gives him the stupid ring. Alaric gives him the stupid ring.
Elena starts talking about war and battle and tells Stefan and Damon that they have to do things her way. That’s fine with Stefan and Damon.
Damon remembers Lexi for no particular reason, except we do get to see him in that bad wig again.
Damon hears his shower running and wonders why Andie’s still in the house. But it’s Katherine. Psych! Turns out the whole compelling thing goes poof when the Original dies, so she kind of tricked him. But she’s still sticking around. Ooh, that portends much fun and drama and lots of “Parent Trap” references! Can’t wait for next week!
Do you think Elijah is going to stay dead? Do you think Katherine is up to no good? Do you think Bonnie will get her powers back?
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