Okay, let’s all say it together: “I hate Thursday!” Or maybe we should try Cat’s new twist, a jolly-but-sarcastic, “Thursdays, don’t you just love ‘em?” Either way, it’s elimination day.

First off, kinda loved the opening number, which gave us a topical Michael Jackson reference (“Brand New Day” from “The Wiz”), a taste of Toasty Oreo and some very “Cats”-like choreography. Whoo hoo!

Before we get to the good and bad news, can I just ask one question? Did Cat really say PAZ de deux? Really? But the good news is that the girl actually looked relaxed and sexy instead of like a Wal-Mart Barbie, which has to count for something, even if she was in a tin foil toga. But girlfriend, totally the wrong shoes. Take one of those inappropriate black pumps and drive the heel into the costume designer’s eyeball. Seriously, why is Fox incapable of dressing a gorgeous woman?

[Results for Thursday (July 2) night's "So You Think You Can Dance" after the break...]

Vitolio and Karla

Status: In danger

Yeah, we saw this coming, didn’t we? Nigel doesn’t seem too broken up about it, pointing out that neither Vitolio or Karla are “strangers to the bottom three.” And honestly, he has a point. Neither of these two has really stuck with me as standout talents, and in the personality department they’re a little blah. With such stiff competition this season, pretty good just doesn’t cut it.

 

Randi and Evan

Status: Safe

C’mon, these two are too cute and that routine was too much fun for my teensy tiny power couple to be at risk. And can I just say that Evan needs to do that spiky hair thing from Wednesday more often, because it definitely tones down the nerd factor. And really, Randi shouldn’t be the only one set with the task of pumping out the butt-dancing sex appeal. Bring it, Evan!

 

Janette and Brandon

Status: Safe

These two are taking the hot tamale train right to the finals. I know the judges get all hot and bothered about Kayla, but I have to say, Janette is a force to be reckoned with. And she’s never been in the bottom three. So take that, Kayla.

 

Kayla and Kupono

Status: In danger

I’m telling you, this is all the judges’ fault. Kayla’s never-ending ticket on the hot tamale train is killing her with voters. Note to Mary Murphy – kick ‘em off the train next week. Tell Kayla she sucks. It’s the right thing to do.

 

Melissa and Ade

Status: Safe

Hey, dancing in pointe shoes is freakin’ hard, so I’m thrilled these two got a walk. And sure, Ade looked like a big klutz trying to dance barefoot with a ballerina, but who wouldn’t? He pulled it off, they’re safe, all is right in the world.

 

Phillip and Jeanine

Status: In danger

Voters, you rock! I thought for sure that Phillip and Jeanine had a lock on this. I mean, it was hip hop, Phillip’s only skill set. But I guess that messy chain caught up to them. But really, it’s time for Jeanine to break free of this dead weight anyway.

 

Caitlin and Jason

Status: Safe

Wow, I was sure that latex body condom killed it for these two. Maybe everyone felt so sorry for Caitlin and Jason, who have had pretty crap luck of the draw when it comes to routines, that they rallied and voted them through. To which I say, alright.

The night’s very special dancers were athletic, skilled and embodied everything that bores the crap out of me in modern dance. The whole routine was pretentious, lacking in story and set to God awful music. But nice mesh undies.

Now, to the solos.

 

Karla

She busted out the spastic dance routine again, but this time she slowed it down and took her time, as suggested by the judges. But I wonder if they’ve officially seen this two times too many.

 

Vitolio

I don’t know. I like Vitolio. You can tell he really, really loves dance. But I’m not sure if he’s as good as some of the other guys.

 

Kayla

Surprisingly, Kayla looked a little frantic toward the end of this, but you can’t deny she has amazing lines. The judges will not send her home. But I do feel for the girl, because she must be wondering, what the hell does America WANT from me? I can’t dance any better than I am! I’m practically the freakin’ conductor of the hot tamale train!

 

Kupono

Like Karla, Kupono tends to spaz out in his solos, but this wasn’t as bad as last week. He must have listened to what the judges said, then made a to-do list and compulsively checked things off.

 

Jeanine

This was very controlled and thoughtful. Nice job.

 

Phillip

Obviously, the guy can pop and lock. Which will make him lots of money if he performs on the Santa Monica Third Street Promenade on a Saturday night. But life is too short for me to ever watch the guy tango again.

 

Kelly Clarkson informed us that “I Do Not Hook Up,” which Katy Perry wrote, and you can totally tell, and that’s not a bad thing. Super hooky, and I will now need to listen to an entire Empire of the Sun album to floss it out of my head. But is it me or did Kelly look like a middle-aged housewife in that outfit? Mom pants and a red sack with stringy hair, not a good look on anyone, and come on, she’s a perfectly cute girl. Time to fire that stylist, girl.

Nigel informs us that the judges are unanimous in their decision (code for: we ALL HATE one of you). He says Jeanine was the strongest solo of the evening, which I completely agree with. He also says she hasn’t gotten enough attention because sucky Phillip hogs all the critique time, also true. But who cares, she’s safe. Yay! He also tells Kayla she’s a big teacher’s pet who danced a pretty crappy solo (ouch), then tells Karla she’s a very good dancer (kiss of death coming) who’s lost her star quality, and she’s going home. Buh-bye, Karla. Take that switcheroo dress with you, that thing was cool.

Time for the guys. Nigel informs us yet again it’s a unanimous decision (again, we ALL HATE one of you). He tells Phillip his work was a little desperate, but for some unbelievable reason he’s safe, which SUCKS. Nigel tells Vitolio he has great presence and carriage, but he doesn’t deliver beyond that. He tells Kupono he turned in a weak solo without passion, but he’s sticking around. Poor Vitolio. No, he doesn’t have what it takes to make it to the finals, but is he better than Phillip? Yes, he’s better than Phillip. This is so unfair. Bad judges, bad!

 

Do you think Vitolio should have gone? What about Karla? Or were you rooting for Phillip to finally, finally hit the bricks?