Okay, Cat fooled me. I was wondering if maybe she'd pinned up her hair yesterday, but then it looked like she'd really hacked it off when she did the 180 spin, so, unless tonight she's rocking a blonde wig, she fooled me. Which may account for why it looked like crap. Cat looks great with long, glossy locks, so why screw with that? But in happier news, her little blue mini dress with the Indian bodice detail has a fun, summery vibe and I'm desperately hoping the costume designer for the show just lets her keep hitting the knits, which look relaxed, instead of trying to pimp her out like a Wal-Mart Barbie.
But I digress. Cat gave a shout-out to Nigel because it's his b-day, then Nigel had the unhappy task of telling all the Michael Jackson fans in the audience that either Sony or the family wouldn't give the show clearance on the MJ songs they wanted to use for a tribute show, so that was scratched. Although honestly, if I see one more Michael Jackson related anything I may actually gouge out my eyes with a spoon. No offense.
Next, Cat gets to the really serious business of the night, which is taking the dreams of two dancers and stomping on them like overripe grapes. Mary tells the audience they'd better be voting or she'll come to their homes and scream in their ears like a rabid jaybird, or something like that, and Toasty Oreo tells the dancers they need to be warriors, which they all probably already knew.
Finally, it's time to get to the nitty gritty. Who's safe and who's potentially screwed?
Caitlin and Jason
Status: In danger
I want to say this is unexpected, because I really like these guys. But last night was good, not great. And overall, these two have always been very, very good. But have any of their performances completely wowed me? Sadly, no. Mary tells them that their Bollywood routine was magic (which I actually disagree with), but she hasn't seen the magic since. Then she busts out the same advice Toasty Oreo and Nigel have been flinging at people, which is all about digging deeper and taking chances and blah blah blah, because really, if that kind of trite crap makes a difference at this point, then they're either really impressionable or a little dumb.
Janette and Brandon
D'uh. They're so winning this competition. They're just too damn good. And that's the thing – at this point, none of the dancers (except Phillip) are bad. Just some are more incredible than others.
Randi and Evan
Don't get me wrong, I love these guys, but I actually was a little surprised they're safe this round, given that the judges weren't loving Evan's unsexy samba. What this says to me is that Caitlin is probably the female dancer getting the boot this week. As much as the judges love that little unitard-loving sparkplug Randi, they also comment quite a bit on her limitations, which makes me think she's going to have to fight from this point forward.
Jeanine and Phillip
Status: In danger
Yes, Jeanine was on the hot tamale train. But she was sitting in first class alllllll by her lonesome. I am really, really hoping that the judges finally give Phillip the boot. Though the guys are overall pretty weak compared to the superhero juggernaut of the girls, I don't think anyone can deny that Phillip is the weakest link in the whole competition. Please judges, come to your senses and send him home!
Oddly, Nigel takes this opportunity to explain that, even though the bottom dancers can dance their asses off, the judges made up their minds hours earlier, so I'm sure that makes Jeanine and Phillip feel great, It's like knowing you can appeal your death sentence, but really, the jury flipped a coin in the hallway during lunch, so you're pretty screwed. Jeanine looks a little bit like she might throw up.
Melissa and Ade
Status: In danger
Really? Toasty Oreo told Ade he dropped the ball, and I guess that's true, but this is one of those couples that's been so much fun to watch. Still, I guess ol' Toasty has a point – most of what makes them so engaging is Melissa's strong emotions and surprising ability to get down and funky with her ballerina self. Ade does occasionally look like he's just hanging out, or daydreaming about his hair pick, or wishing he had a sandwich.
Kayla and Kupono
Hey, the sweaty palm thing worked! Next week, expect Kayla to burp the alphabet and pick her nose on camera.
Before anyone can dance for their life, we get to see scenes from the next season of SYTYCD, which stopped off in Boston for auditions. We meet Teddy, who is "whimsical" because he wears a bowtie, but honestly he seemed pretty borderline despite the fact Toasty Oreo practically wet his pants over him.
But onto the solos.
She puts together a pretty little routine to "Stand by Me," but now that we know Nigel and the gang are sitting at the judges' table texting and checking TMZ, having made up their minds forever ago, what difference will it make?
Lots of kicking and hopping around, which looked a little stiff to me. I hope Jason can last another week, but I don't think he has much more time than that.
She looked a little nervous, but come on, she was on the hot tamale train, no way they're sending her home.
Yeah, pop and lock, whatever. I am so over this guy.
She sexed up some ballet moves, which did an excellent job of reminding us, hello, she does the same stuff everyone else does, but she can do it all in toe shoes.
Clearly, this guy is an athletic force. Great routine. But considering the main complaint from the judges was about his lines and reach, he may have wanted to slow things down and show us some less contemporary moves.
Kelly Rowland, who was cutting gospel albums not that long ago, is apparently targeting the dance club set with "When Love Takes Over," which is probably one of the few songs that's entirely appropriate for "SYTYCD," because it actually has, oh, I don't know, a dance beat.
Nigel tells us everyone's unanimous, that they're very sad and love everybody, but they want stars, dammit, stars.
Apparently the show is running short on time, because Nigel doesn't mess around, calling out Caitlin, who starts crying before he even opens his mouth, poor baby, to give her the boot. The audience freaks out a little bit, too. I expected this, but it's still sad. She definitely has a future as a dancer, though, so that's something.
Next, he asks Phillip to step forward, tells him he's great as a hip hopper, but his other dances were weak, then cuts him with lightning speed. And even though I've been wanting him gone for weeks, seeing his little face crumple up was pretty awful.
Nigel then tells both Caitlin and Phillip that he's secured places for them on the tour, which I'm sure had a lot to do with understanding Phillip had a massive fan base, then Phillip tells us that you don't need no stinkin' dance classes to achieve your dreams, although I would argue his being eliminated at this stage in the competition indicates that, well, yeah, you do need dance classes, but it's all very heartwarming and everyone hugs. Which, for a Fox show, is a nice change of pace.
What's you think of the results? Relieved to see Phillip go home? Sad to see Caitlin leave?