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Recap: 'Saturday Night Live' - Charles Barkley and Kelly Clarkson

Could the Round Mound of Rebound and the first Idol start 2012 off right?

By Ryan McGee Sunday, Jan 8, 2012 1:42 AM

"Saturday Night Live" host Charles Barkley

Credit: NBC

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Tonight marks the third time that Charles Barkley has hosted “Saturday Night Live.” I completely forgot that he initially hosted the show in 1993 until doing a little digging in preparation for tonight’s recap. I remember his 2010 appearance well, albeit unkindly. So I’m slightly dreading his presence tonight in this, the first “SNL” of 2012. It doesn’t help my confidence that he spent seemingly half of today inside NBC’s “Football Night in America” studio plugging his appearance rather than working on his sketches. He’s a larger-than-life personality outside of this show, but seems to shrink in this particular spotlight. Oh well. If nothing else, the original “American Idol” herself Kelly Clarkson may brighten tonight’s proceedings.

As per usual, only one way to find out. I grade each sketch, you get mad, and then we all move on with our lives. Deal? Deal.

A Message From Rick Santorum: We’re starting twenty minutes late, thanks to the aforementioned football coverage. RYAN CRANKY. Andy Samberg has to be delighted that his Santorum actually gets a cold open, since when the show last aired, it was unclear that Santorum would even be in the race at this point. (This probably explains why his impression is basically a toned down version of Samberg’s Nicolas Cage. Why work on an impression you think you’ll never have to perform for any significant length?) He pledges to visit every county in every state during his Presidential candidate, and there are times in which this sketch feels as long as that potential journey. There are some fun detours into surrealism (“If the lesbians don’t get me, the Mormon death squads probably will!”), but mostly this is an unfunny monologue that has middling jokes drawn out over overly long sentences. It’s bad that I’m actively wishing for Barkley already, right? [Grade: C-]

Monologue: Wow, Michael Jordan must have really stuck it to Barkley recently, as the host is firing round after round at Jordan in this monologue. (The line about his engagement seemed unplanned, and particularly cutting.) The rest of this was basically a commercial for Weight Watchers. The monologue’s biggest asset: it was nice and short, which didn’t give Barkley a lot of time to trip over the cue cards. Not a lot of “there” there, but at least they didn’t try to put him into a huge dance number. [Grade: C+]

Chantix: It’s “Happy Fun Ball”, but about a pill to help you quit smoking! It’s basically an excuse for Kristen Wiig to make the silly faces she does in other sketches as an unseen announcer reads increasingly dire warnings. Plus? I’m pretty sure Gilly never gave us “Robert De Niro Face,” so this pre-produced commercial brought something new to the table. [Grade: B]

Inside The NBA: Is Kenan Thompson’s Barkley impression always this good? Because it’s ON tonight. Even more surprising? Barkley’s low-key impression of Shaq isn’t exactly accurate, and he looks more like Uncle Phil from “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air” than the NBA superstar. But the deadpan attitude works within the context of the sketch. Even MORE surprising? Jay Pharoah gets a high-profile part this early in the show! Surprises abounding here. Mostly things went on at a steady if unremarkable clip, until Bill Hader punctuated the sketch by declaring, “We’re all black friends!” which sent everyone else onstage into near convulsions. For the second time, I can’t tell if that was planned or not. But it certainly made for interesting television. [Grade: B+]

White People Problems: Once a hashtag, NOW A SKETCH! Seats on airplanes, free-range chickens, vacation homes…all awkward situations. “Awkward is a word that white people can use in every situation!” Barkley helpfully reminds us. Damnit. Now I have fallen into his trap! But know what else is awkward? SNL’s cast demographic complete limits the scope of this sketch. Once Thompson and Pharoah appear again, the show is completely devoid of African-American talent. “White People Problems” would have been a recurring sketch on a modern-day version of “In Living Color,” but won’t appear on “SNL” again for the foreseeable future. It’s always weird when the show airs sketches that overtly points out its own limitations, and let’s be frank, anachronisms. It may have been decently funny, but it was also plenty problematic. [Grade: B]

ESPN Bowl Madness: We get it! There are a lot of bowls! There's no need to shame us into watching three dogs versus 100 bats in the Skechers Shape-Ups How I Met Your Mother Trojan Minis Bowl! Not even Sarah McLachlan would put us through that kind of canine terror! [Grade: C-]

Joanne: Barkley appears as Joanne, a woman that comes out as a lesbian to her shocked friends before breaking up with her boyfriend. Said boyfriend is played by Paul Brittain, who is a freakin’ Hobbit compared to Charles Barkley. It’s Lord Wyndemere of the Rings! I’m not sure there’s really a comedic premise here, other than the visual of Barkley in a dress. Joanne’s friends seem awfully willing to stand facing away from her for long periods of time, but there’s little context to the proceedings that suggest a longer history between these people. That might sound like a silly complaint, but “SNL” packs in dense history into its best sketches all the time, even stand-alone ones. Also? I’m grading on a curve here, but Barkley has been perfectly fine thus far post-monologue. [Grade: B-]

Charles Barkley’s Post Game Translator: Here’s an app that lets you cut through the mumbo-jumbo of press conferences. It’s clear which lines here came from Barkley’s own feelings and which were lines handed to him to recite. The former ones totally connect. The latter ones feel like they were written by people that don’t actually watch sports. Short and semi-sweet. It’s been a fairly consistent, if unspectacular, show since that wretched cold open. [Grade: B-]

Oh, hi Kelly Clarkson! You and your bangs are here to sing “What Doesn’t Kill You”, the latest attempt to recreate the magic of “Since U Been Gone.” It’s one of her better latter-day variations on the same theme, possibly because it involves a freakin’ keytar! There are a LOT of people onstage with her, perhaps to make up for the fact that Clarkson isn’t the most dynamic live performer. She sounds great, but other than getting the audience to clap along, she doesn’t have much in the way of stage presence in this particular performance. Maybe bigger stages yield bigger energy, but this performance is fairly perfunctory. [Grade: B-]

Weekend Update: Michele Bachmann comes on to discuss her failed campaign and announce her return to blinking. She sings Montell Jordan jams in celebration of the experience, but brings little else to the proceedings. Next, because I’m a bad person that apparently needs to be punished for my sins, Nicholas Fehn returns to read the headlines. I know many of you love Fred Armisen’s knowing send-ups of NYC performers, but I find them almost invariably smug to the point of offensiveness. After that, Bobby Moynihan makes his 2012 debut as Drunk Uncle. He’s there to make some resolutions, but instead rants about the need for women to wear hats in church instead of “Kindling their boyfriends.” Drunk Uncle is on the opposite end of the Moynihan Spectrum from Anthony Crispino. Crispino has me frantically searching for the “Mute” button, but I’d be perfectly happy to have Drunk Uncle appear with Stefon-like frequency. He saved this “Update” from being utterly forgettable. [Grade: C+]

Lord Wyndemere: God help me, I love Wyndemere as much as Jason Sudeikis’ character does.And Barkley, as his friend, gets in on the act, as enthralled by the Lord as we all should be. “I wanna hold him!” he cries out, desperately trying not to giggle on live television. This wasn’t as explosively funny as the first iteration of this sketch, which was all about the girlfriend’s father falling under Wyndemere’s spell. But I’m never going to complain about his eternal search for sweets. [Grade: B+]

The 17^th Annual Adult Video Awards: We witness an “In Memorium” tribute, which is essentially a retread of the “Underground Festival” comedic technique of “let’s just throw three hundred jokes at the screen and hope most of them land.” The adult movie stars themselves were mostly amusing for their punny names, but seeing the dorky screenwriter and the put-upon cleaning man were truly funny touches. The most notable aspect of this? Our first Nasim Pedrad sighting all night! The saddest part of this? Someone had to build that live set for 18 seconds of use. [Grade: C]

Convoluted Jerry: This might be the latest that a Digital Short has aired in-show since “Lazy Sunday” took off. (Don’t quote me on that. But anecdotally, that feels right.) Even when they are awful, “Digital Shorts” tend to have a signature style to them. Other than Samberg hamming it up, this could have been one of the show’s more traditional pre-produced bits. It’s been a pretty rough season for The Lonely Island on “SNL”. One might say brutal. And 2012 is starting off horrifically for them. [Grade: D-]

Kelly Clarkson is back, this time with “Mr. Know It All.” Confession: I may or may not sing along to this song in the car when it’s on. What can I say? I have a soft spot for Ms. Clarkson and her brand of inoffensive but completely catchy pop. I’m not sure she needs four back-up singers to help her along, but hey, I’m no expert. Maybe she appreciates the aide. The fact that she’s still popular this long after her “Idol” win is pretty incredible, given the fickle nature of the pop music world. If she needs a full chorus to keep her career going, so be bit. [Grade: B+]

Mayan Calendar: Look, I’ll be honest: it’s 1:15 am, and while this is only a quarter-hour longer than the show airs, I’m loopy. And seeing Fred Armisen wear his modern-day glasses in an ancient sketch is damaging by calm. AND NOW THE CALENDAR IS TALKING TO ME. I want my Mommy. Or, preferably, a sketch about the end of the world that didn’t hit every predictable beat possible. [Grade: C]

Best Sketch: Inside The NBA

Worst Sketch: Convoluted Jerry

Biggest Surprise: Barkley acquitted himself quite well in his third appearance. To use a sports analogy, it would be like a coach giving a limited player only a few things to focus on in order to maximize output.

Biggest Surprise, Part 2: Pretty big weeks for both Jay Pharoah and Paul Brittain, while Taran Killam and Nasim Pedrad were essentially AWOL all week.

What did you think of Barkley’s performance? Did the show use him to the best of his abilities, or were you just mad that they dipped into an unfunny well for the third time? Did the early sketches call attention to the cast demographics in a negative way for you? And might it be time for “Digital Shorts” to go the way of the dodo in 2012? Sound off below!

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John

I actually liked PornStar In Memoriam. Yeah, Convoluted Jerry was bad but I did like "Seducing Women Through Chess" Digital Short, so it has been THAT bad.
January 8, 2012 at 3:17AM EST Reply to Comment
ireneinidaho

YMMV indeed! I thought you'd be giving most of these sketches C's at best, and the flat, utterly predictable "Joanne" an F. And I'm sooo not enthralled by Little Lord Wyndemere. Overall, it was the lamest show in a long time.
January 8, 2012 at 3:28AM EST Reply to Comment
Rp

Awlful show tonite, must have had some writers on vacation & the cast didn't seem like they were even trying
January 8, 2012 at 4:17AM EST Reply to Comment
Dirty Crotch McGurt

Hey cranky Ryan, watch some goddamn football like a real man and quit being a cunt
January 8, 2012 at 4:37AM EST Reply to Comment
troopermsu

I thought Adele sounded pretty good. Wait, what?

Umm, Chuck, it was an NBA lockout, not a strike (a big difference).

I think Barkley's strength as a humorist is riffing on what goes on during the show on TNT. He isn't as strong reading cue cards. Not sure how you take advantage of that in the SNL format. Maybe it might have been funny if Charles bantered with audience members asking questions. Real audience members, not the cast members planted in the crowd.

This show has, what, 20 writers and this is the best they can do after a long layoff? Just say no, but maybe they aren't doing ENOUGH drugs. Or maybe they need to steal some people from Stewart or Colbert.

Weekend Update had 12 jokes about the news and 12 MINUTES OF STALE, UNFUNNY CHARACTERS. Yeeeeesh.

Two big problems: the writers are seemingly incapable of more than a hand full of funny lines each show. And, the cast is terribly bloated. Time to let the big names go (do Wiig and Armisen have anything left to offer other than warmed over iterations of their old stuff?) and nurture and develop the more talented of the others. I'd keep Elliott, Hader, Pedrad, Thompson, Brittain, maybe Killam unless I can find someone better. Then I'd go out and find the most talented people to try to diversify my cast adding 2, maybe 3 people keeping the total cast members at around 7 or 8. Meyers can stay on the Update desk if he sticks to the news and has NO more than one guest. Maybe I'd keep Pharoah if he can improve his acting skills to even a mildly passable level.
January 8, 2012 at 6:11AM EST Reply to Comment
- Ken from Chicago Trooper MSU, yes, SNL has been most consistently funny doing political impersonations followed by celebrity impersonations--yet they keep trying to create funny recurring characters that are mostly misses in lame attempts to recapture Mike Myers' "Wayne's World" success in the hopes of churning a movie out (as demonstrated by the zillion and one SNL character movies in the 90s and 00s that crashed commercially, and, with the exception of Stuart Smalley, critically).
  
  Altho for the love of all that's good and decent, could someone kick Fred Arminsen off the show or ban his Obama impressions and FINALLY let Jay Pharoah take over? He not only does a great impression but it's hilariously funny (not to mention other impersonations, Denzel Washington, Eddie Murphy, Stewie Griffin, like half the Family Guy cast, et al.).
  
  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KVbLQ4Ise2I
  January 8, 2012 at 6:42AM EST
- troopermsu I don't find Pharoah funny at all and I think his impressions are one-note with nothing beyond imitation of a voice inflection or a gesture. Nothing behind them at all. His Muhammad Ali sounds like Jimmy Cagney.
  January 8, 2012 at 5:30PM EST
Ken from Chicago

Ryan, you're not alone in ... gasp ... singing along with Kelly Clarkson. She's a contemporary pop rock songstress who does NOT use autotune and you CAN sing along with her because she's not singing too fast nor is her voice drowned out by the music.

Bonus: She eschews being rail thin and wearing barely-there outfits. She ... gasp ... lets the singing be the focus of the performance.

Also, yes, the NBA sketch was great, so was Kenan, totally on as Barkley and Jay as Kenny (not that I'm in any way biased that there were two "Ken"s in the sketch) and even Barkley as low-key almost asleep Shaq. It reminds me of the time Sting impersonated Billy Idol in a skit. I love those celeb mimics another celeb skits.
January 8, 2012 at 6:28AM EST Reply to Comment
James Fallon

Jay Pharoah - great mimic, terrible impressionist. The guy just doesn't do anything to make these impressions his own. He really needs to find someone to write for him.
January 8, 2012 at 1:32PM EST Reply to Comment
- klg19 That's a very clever observation.
  January 8, 2012 at 2:30PM EST
klg19

It's funny to me that you complain about Clarkson not being a dynamic performer--I'm not a fan of hers, but I found myself pathetically grateful for a musical guest who just stood there and sang, without turning the stage into the Ziegfeld Follies or proving that her success is more her producers' talent than her own.

As to the cold open...well, maybe Ryan here isn't much of a politicophile. Samberg's Santorum may have been low-key, but then dynamism isn't exactly Santorum's trademark. But if you'd followed, say, his 90-county tour of Iowa, you might have found Samberg's opening as funny as I did.
January 8, 2012 at 2:26PM EST Reply to Comment
filthyfowl

Their political stuff is uncreative and boring. It's either a talking head on a talk show or a long droning monologue that never goes anywhere.

Janet Reno dance party, Ferrell as Dubya in "palm beach" or any Hartman as Clinton in scenario stuff made these guys into characters. I know these pols are boring but isn't their job to do something with them?
January 8, 2012 at 3:56PM EST Reply to Comment
- troopermsu Reading your post just now gave me the idea of GOP Debate in a Hot Tub Time Machine. Just an idea, but something along the lines you're talking about and I think a decent writer(s) could do something with it.
  January 8, 2012 at 5:15PM EST
- filthyfowl GOP candidates getting too friendly/close with voters at their local stores/restaurants.
  
  Rick Santorum spontaneously combusting when he accidentally lands to vermont.
  
  Jon Huntsman photobombing other candidates to stay relevant.
  
  Mitt Romney on Dirty Jobs: New Hampshire.
  
  There are thousands of different ways to make the political stuff more creative, but the writers just don't seem to know/want to go beyond the standard monologue.
  January 9, 2012 at 12:36PM EST
Annie

I didn't think SNL was that bad, sure Charles B. is the best, but then he is not an actor! But Kelly Clarkson was total greatness! I love the new Stronger song and she always kills when she is live! I give her performance a solid A...sorry monkeys!
January 8, 2012 at 5:47PM EST Reply to Comment
gregel

I didn't think Inside the NBA was as funny as it should have been. Jay disappointed as Kenny. I liked White People Problems more. I do think they need new talent and writers though. I think this crew has sort of reached the end of their creative peak.
January 8, 2012 at 7:27PM EST Reply to Comment
Cory

Fred Armisen is my all-time least favorite performer this show has ever had.
January 9, 2012 at 3:09AM EST Reply to Comment
Cory

I'm convinced that Fred Armisen has footage of Lorne Michaels murdering someone. Nothing else can explain his long tenure on the show, despite being almost entirely devoid of comedic ability.
January 9, 2012 at 3:12AM EST Reply to Comment
Bryan

One of the worst SNLs I've seen in a while, which says a lot. I'd be hard-pressed to give any sketches anything above a D, if that. Overall show? Definitely an F. Bummer, seeing as just a few years ago I really thought things were on the up and up...
January 9, 2012 at 6:58AM EST Reply to Comment
Drunk Uncle saved the day. Besides that, almost everything was mediocre to just plain unfunny for me. I did really like Lord Wyndemere and Adult Video Awards. Kelly Clarkson was just okay. Never been super impressed by her, but she was alright. Charles Barkley has zero comic timing on SNL when he host IMO. Overall, one of the weaker episodes of the season.
January 14, 2012 at 6:56PM EST Reply to Comment

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Comments

Option 1

Option 2

Option 3

John I actually liked PornStar In Memoriam. Yeah, Convoluted Jerry was bad but I did like "Seducing Women Through Chess" Digital Short, so it has been THAT bad.

ireneinidaho YMMV indeed! I thought you'd be giving most of these sketches C's at best, and the flat, utterly predictable "Joanne" an F. And I'm sooo not enthralled by Little Lord Wyndemere. Overall, it was the lamest show in a long time.

Rp Awlful show tonite, must have had some writers on vacation & the cast didn't seem like they were even trying

Dirty Crotch McGurt Hey cranky Ryan, watch some goddamn football like a real man and quit being a cunt

troopermsu I don't find Pharoah funny at all and I think his impressions are one-note with nothing beyond imitation of a voice inflection or a gesture. Nothing behind them at all. His Muhammad Ali sounds like Jimmy Cagney.

James Fallon Jay Pharoah - great mimic, terrible impressionist. The guy just doesn't do anything to make these impressions his own. He really needs to find someone to write for him.

klg19 That's a very clever observation.

troopermsu Reading your post just now gave me the idea of GOP Debate in a Hot Tub Time Machine. Just an idea, but something along the lines you're talking about and I think a decent writer(s) could do something with it.

Annie I didn't think SNL was that bad, sure Charles B. is the best, but then he is not an actor! But Kelly Clarkson was total greatness! I love the new Stronger song and she always kills when she is live! I give her performance a solid A...sorry monkeys!

gregel I didn't think Inside the NBA was as funny as it should have been. Jay disappointed as Kenny. I liked White People Problems more. I do think they need new talent and writers though. I think this crew has sort of reached the end of their creative peak.

Cory Fred Armisen is my all-time least favorite performer this show has ever had.

Cory I'm convinced that Fred Armisen has footage of Lorne Michaels murdering someone. Nothing else can explain his long tenure on the show, despite being almost entirely devoid of comedic ability.

Bryan One of the worst SNLs I've seen in a while, which says a lot. I'd be hard-pressed to give any sketches anything above a D, if that. Overall show? Definitely an F. Bummer, seeing as just a few years ago I really thought things were on the up and up...

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Saturday Night Live is updated

John

I actually liked PornStar In Memoriam. Yeah, Convoluted Jerry was bad but I did like "Seducing Women Through Chess" Digital Short, so it has been THAT bad.

ireneinidaho

YMMV indeed! I thought you'd be giving most of these sketches C's at best, and the flat, utterly predictable "Joanne" an F. And I'm sooo not enthralled by Little Lord Wyndemere. Overall, it was the lamest show in a long time.

Rp

Awlful show tonite, must have had some writers on vacation & the cast didn't seem like they were even trying

Dirty Crotch McGurt

Hey cranky Ryan, watch some goddamn football like a real man and quit being a cunt

James Fallon

Jay Pharoah - great mimic, terrible impressionist. The guy just doesn't do anything to make these impressions his own. He really needs to find someone to write for him.

Annie

I didn't think SNL was that bad, sure Charles B. is the best, but then he is not an actor! But Kelly Clarkson was total greatness! I love the new Stronger song and she always kills when she is live! I give her performance a solid A...sorry monkeys!

gregel

I didn't think Inside the NBA was as funny as it should have been. Jay disappointed as Kenny. I liked White People Problems more. I do think they need new talent and writers though. I think this crew has sort of reached the end of their creative peak.

Cory

Fred Armisen is my all-time least favorite performer this show has ever had.

Cory

I'm convinced that Fred Armisen has footage of Lorne Michaels murdering someone. Nothing else can explain his long tenure on the show, despite being almost entirely devoid of comedic ability.

Bryan

One of the worst SNLs I've seen in a while, which says a lot. I'd be hard-pressed to give any sketches anything above a D, if that. Overall show? Definitely an F. Bummer, seeing as just a few years ago I really thought things were on the up and up...

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