I know, it’s time to talk fashion and the improper usage of epaulets and fringe, but first, did everyone see Tim Gunn’s video for The Trevor Project? (If you haven’t, it’s here). In it, Tim admits that he attempted suicide when he was 17, which just hurts my heart, because I cannot imagine a world without Tim Gunn in it. Or maybe I can, but it would, in a word, suck and we really don’t even want to think about it, honestly. It would be like a world without Lanvin or “Modern Family,” but even worse. Anyway, big props to Tim Gunn for reaching out and sharing in that wonderfully avuncular way he has.

[Full recap of Thursday's (Oct. 7) "Project Runway" after the break...] 

But enough about warm fuzziness, because this is “PR” and that means bitchy designers, which this season specifically means one uber bitchy designer, which means Gwetchen. What does Gwetchen do first thing in the morning? She wakes up and sighs to April about how thrilled she is that Valerie and Ivy are gone, as they giggled in the morning. God forbid someone wake up in a good mood, Gwetchen.
 
On the runway, Heidi informs the designers they must change models. I would care more about this if… actually, I have no idea what would make me care about this.
 
Anyway, Heidi informs the designers they will be creating looks for her active wear line for New Balance. To give them a taste of her designing brilliance, she shows off six of her existing designs. Heidi shouldn’t design stuff. It’s boooooring. Or, as Gwetchen likes to say “retail driven and basic.” In other words, boring.
 
Heidi comes to the workroom. She doesn’t have much to say to Christopher, but she has plenty to say to Mondo. She is not loving Mondo’s designs, and honestly, for good reason, as he’s designed a see-through tunic that won’t fit over her head. Mondo is hurt and, honestly, is kind of bitchy about it. Worse yet, he continues to be bitchy in a very spoiled brat 5-year-old kind of way. He pretends Heidi isn’t there. He doodles. He pouts. This is not a side of Mondo I’m liking, to be honest.
 
But he’s nothing compared to Gwetchen. Heidi asks Gwetchen why she’s bothering to use something other than the fabric that Heidi has stored in a warehouse and expects the entire line to be made from. Gwetchen quickly agrees to toss her cashmere for the ugly sweatshirt material. But it isn’t really what Gwetchen says, but the way she says it. “If you DON’T LIKE the fabric, let’s NOT TALK about the FABRIC. Look, I’m THROWING IT AWAY.”
 
Heidi mentions that, oh yeah, everyone will have to make not one, but three separate looks for her line. Gee, Heidi, this is a pretty good gig for you. You get credit for the line while a fleet of designers do all the heavy lifting. Actually, I think this is how all celebrities “design” collections, so no biggie, Heidi. Carry on. Oh, and all the designers will be receiving help. In other words, the losers are coming back as bitter, reluctant assistants. 
 
Um, sidebar here: Was Gwetchen wearing a handmade tag that said hater? Did I imagine that?
 
As interesting as that is (and really, it does require further inspection, “PR” producers), it’s not as interesting as what happens next. First, we see the fleet of the recently kicked off returning to the show. Mondo picks Valerie, Gwetchen picks Casanova, Christopher picks Ivy, Michael C. picks A.J., April picks Peach and Andy gets stuck with Michael D.
 
Then, we see that Michael C. is making all of his designs in Thanksgiving colors, and truthfully, his hoodie does look a little “The Village”-y when you see it in turkey brown, but this really seems to be an excuse for the outcasts to make fun of Michael C. without fear of repercussions on the runway.
 
But then it gets really exciting, as Ivy accuses Michael C. of cheating by taping his dress onto his model for the Jackie O. challenge. Then, hysterically, Ivy is absolutely shocked and deeply offended when Michael C. uses the F-bomb (I’m assuming it was the F-bomb) in her presence. He doesn’t even curse her out, mind you, he just asks why she’s f-ing with him (again, I’m assuming). Personally, I would have told her to f-off, and might have dropped some other choice words, as it’s pretty funny to watch Ivy climb all over her high horse like a 19th century duchess. Wow, Ivy, no one on the show has used bad language before! Oh, wait, I think you’ve used bad language before. Whatever.
 
Ivy then scampers around the workroom like an evil, bile-spewing little fairy, announcing to everyone that she’s “taken one for the team” and accused Michael C. of cheating. Good for you, Ivy. Nice to see you got kicked off the show and then came completely unscrewed after stewing in an unhealthy blend of resentment and an undeserved sense of entitlement.
 
You know things are bad when even Gwetchen thinks Ivy is being a bitch. But I have to hand it to the editors, who cut from Ivy announcing that she thinks Michael C. will get his someday, as she believes in karma, to her shrieking as she gets something sharp and painful in her eye. Mwahahahaha!
 
Finally, Tim Gunn arrives to address the cheating issue once and for all. He lets Ivy spew her tale of sticky tape and bitterness, then tells her to get over herself, as it isn’t a big deal. As if I needed yet another reason to think Tim Gunn is totally awesome in every way. There are few things more satisfying than seeing Ivy’s pinched little face almost disappear into itself, as if she swallowed a whole lemon and started to turn inside out from the sourness.
 
Weirdly, even though Gwetchen is hoping Michael C. gets the boot, she makes an effort to tell him to forget all the drama and keep on keeping on or something like that. But then, Gwetchen has always been the kind of evil that’s more of the backstabbing variety, whereas Ivy’s is more of the chase you around the workroom and try to take out an eyeball with a pair of scissors kind.
 
To the runway! It’s Michael, Nina and guest judge Norma Kamali. Norma Kamali wears sunglasses indoors. Or they’re tinted reading glasses. Whatever the case, it’s maybe not a fashion do, Norma.
 
Gwetchen
First look - This isn’t horrible, although, again, I will admit I cannot judge Gwetchen objectively. The color palette is actually okay, or at least it’s better than bordeaux and camel.
Second look – Meh. Very meh.
Third look – This is tres questionable. The drawstring skirt over the leggings is just too bulky to look good on anyone but a model. Plus, it looks kind of apron-y.
 
Andy
First look – Slouchy and baggy on top, slouchy and baggy on the bottom. If your model looks like a fat college freshman, you know you’re doing something wrong.
Second look – I like the hoodie. Except it appears to have a print that’s exactly like the Lululemon logo. Which would be fine, if you could buy Heidi’s line anywhere other than amazon.com.
Third look – Cute minidress. And perfect for Halloween!
 
April
First look – S’alright. Very streamlined.
Second look – Hey, look! April made something gauzy! In black! With hot pants! Wait, she does this every week!
Third look – This is interesting, but I’m not sure it will sell at retail.
 
Christopher
First look – the grey top is soooo boring. And the pants are nothing to write home about.
Second look – Oh, no. The stripes on the hoodie make the model look like a linebacker.
Third look – Hey, it’s a nightie! Oh, wait, it isn’t. Ooops.
 
Michael C.
First look – The poncho is cool. But not the orange pants.
Second look – Okay, now that this has been dubbed the Thanksgiving outfit, I can’t really see it any other way.
Third look – A basic little dress. Not something I’d wear after the gym, though.
 
Mondo
First look – Hey, Mondo got it together. I like the muted colors. This is still Mondo, but Mondo set on two instead of ten.
Second look – Nice little jacket.
Third look – Yes, a basic tunic, but very wearable. And I love his geometric headbands.
 
Heidi calls out Michael, Christopher and Gwetchen, noting they have the lowest scores. Oof! They slink off the runway. But backstage, Gwetchen complains that she did great work and Mondo kind of blew. Shut up, Gwetchen!
 
Back on the runway, Heidi calls out Mondo. Michael loves the kooky headbands (me, too!). He thinks the pants are dull, though. Nina loves that the second look’s jacket has satin. Norma thinks they’re go-to pieces.
 
Next, April. Michael loves the asymmetry on the third dress. Heidi loves the third dress, but wouldn’t wear the second look’s hot pants.
 
Heidi loves Andy’s stuff. Michael loves the chiffon with jersey. Nina likes the lightness of it, but worries it’s Halloweenish. I’d consider that a selling point, honestly. Norma thinks it’s classic.
 
Finally, it’s time for the losers.
 
Heidi points out to Michael C. that he’s added a color palette which would be a pain in the ass (she picked that grey fabric for a reason, people!). Michael thinks it’s trying too hard to be fancy. Nina didn’t like the accessorizing. Norma thinks there are some good pieces, however.
 
Michael Kors tells Christopher his clothes look cheap. Like, ten dollars cheap. Nina hates the proportions. Nina thinks he wasn’t in love with the designs.
 
Gwetchen starts talking and can’t prevent herself from digging a hole in two sentences or less. She thinks Heidi’s designs didn’t have transitional pieces. Heidi then informs Gwetchen that her third look made the model look like a sausage. Gwetchen says she has a different opinion. Actually, she says that while her body language says “I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU.” So, a slightly mixed message. Nina piles on by saying that everything Gwetchen made looks forced. Heidi thinks the grey robe looks like a bathrobe. Gwetchen disagrees politely as her body language says “YOU SUCK, YOU STUPID MODEL, YOU!”
 
The judges chat. I think Christopher is going home.
 
April is… in. Andy is… the winner. Really? I mean, they can’t keep giving it to Mondo, but I thought Andy’s first look was pretty subpar. Still, you can buy it and everything else he made for Heidi on amazon.com, as she’s appropriating it, I mean, she’s honoring him by stealing, I mean, featuring his designs as part of her collection. Andy’s thrilled. Poor Andy.
 
Gwetchen is… in. And Heidi tells her constructive criticism is not her enemy. Yeah, Heidi is gunning for her. Love that! Christopher is… out. No surprise there. Michael C. is in, of course.
 
Although all the designers cry over Christopher, I never felt like I got much of a feel for him during his time on the show, either as a personality or a designer. The only design of his I really remember is that cloud getting its period dress, which was memorable for all the wrong reasons. And even though I was kind of happy that Andy won a challenge (though I haven’t forgiven him completely for his brief journey on the Gwetchen crazy train), I wasn’t exactly wowed by his designs. But hey, what Heidi wants, Heidi gets.  
 
Do you think Michael C. cheated? Do you think Ivy was right or wrong to accuse him? And did you think Gwetchen deserved to be in the bottom this week?