Okay, the promos for this episode look downright delicious. I mean, come on, they’re promising a friggin’ bloodbath on the runway! Is it too much to hope someone claws Mila’s catty old eyes out? I am breathless with excitement! This could be the best “PR” ever! Or, Lifetime could be yanking my chain. But they wouldn’t do that, would they?
[Full recap of Thursday (Feb. 11) night's "Project Runway" after the break...]
Things start off on the right foot as Anthony beats Jay with a bible to get him out of bed, which is just sacrilegious enough to suggest this episode will Go There, wherever There might be. Meanwhile, Mila is pissed no one gave her praise for walking into the results room crowing “Top two! Top two!” like a bratty tweenager. She says jealousy, I say general embarrassment for her childish behavior. Tomato, tomahto. Mila sucks.
It’s off to the Hearst building, where Joanna Coles, editor-in-chief of Marie Claire, and Tim Gunn announce they’ll be designing an outfit for Heidi Klum to wear on the cover of the magazine. Which would be a big deal, if people still read magazines. But this is a cute and retro prize that’s very 2002, so everyone’s excited.
After an uneventful trip to Mood, everyone gets busy in the workroom. Except for, apparently, Seth Aaron, who is emerging as the squawky, annoying designer for the season. It wouldn’t be “PR” without at least one. If Seth Aaron lasts into next week we can probably expect him to start flapping his arms and making bird sounds, or at least admit to being a recovering meth addict.
Tim comes to visit and notices the workroom feels like a morgue. Tim is immediately worried about Anthony, who seems a little lost in Ruffle Land. He tells Mila to work, because Mila can do no wrong in the judges eyes and he probably doesn’t want to spend any more time with her than he has to. He tells Janeane not to make clown clothes. Tim is worried about Ben’s lilac metallic leather. I’m worried about Ben’s lilac metallic leather, too. Tim doesn’t seem too thrilled with Anna Marie’s outfit, either. He warns Emilio he might run out of time with the crazy-hd corseting fringe thing he’s trying to pull off. Tim apparently doesn’t say anything to anyone else, because the next thing you know, it’s model time.
You know how I kinda hate Mila? It turns out, none of the other designers are all that fond of her either. Jay thinks she’s fake. Emilio thinks she acts cocky when all she does is color blocking. I think she’s delusional, since she doesn’t see anyone on the show as real competition for her. And I don’t care if the judges loved that stupid star dress last week, I think it looked like cheap pageant crap. Wake up, judges!
So far, no blood bath. This is actually one of the duller episodes of “PR” thus far. I feel so cheated. There better be fireworks on that runway, people!
Runway time! Joanna from Marie Claire is there, as is Nina and Michael. But who cares? Let’s talk dresses!
This is an interesting dress, but what I like about it is the uneven hem. The flower on the strapless neckline might be too much for a magazine cover. I’m just imagining trying to work a cover blurb around something that looks a little bit like Technicolor puke.
Seth’s little grey suit is cute as a button, but so, so wrong for a cover. One, it doesn’t look like spring at all, and the color is drab.
I like Jesse’s dress. The basket weave is a nice detail. But I also wonder if a woman who just had a baby, even if she is a supermodel, is going to want to call attention to her belly. Also, the blue is a little dark, bordering on black. And it looks a little ill-fitting from the rear.
I don’t love this, though it is very modern. The colors are very cool and muted, and the shorts work with the rest of the outfit. But it’s kind of blousy and baggy rather than sexy and confident. I can’t see this on Heidi at all.
Finally, someone used bright colors. This is a hot little dress. I like the detailing, and the shoulder interest is solid.
Once again, the colors are just kinda blah here. Considering all the vivid colors of fabric she pulled at Mood, I’m shocked that there’s barely a hint of blue in this otherwise frumpy beige dress.
Well, if the judges love this, I’ll finally believe she’s bribing them. There is no visual interest in this dress above the waist. It’s friggin’ BEIGE. The only thing that would be more dull would be a jumbo-sized coffee filter.
This is a cute little dress, but it looks a little Valentine’s Day. But I could see it on a cover, definitely.
This dress is gorgeous. But I wonder if the empire waistline will photograph well. Also, may be too blah of a color for a cover.
This is a hot little romper. I think this would be a knockout on the cover, thanks to the sheen pumping this up from beige to gold.
This is a cute dress, but it just disappears with those muted colors.
I’d like to see this a little closer up. But it’s a feisty little dress, and the colors definitely pop. If the judges like this, I don’t see too much hope for the pale brigade.
Heidi calls Seth Aaron, Jay, Maya, Jesse, Jonathan and Amy forward, and tells them they’re safe. God, is it too much to ask that Mila end up in the bottom this week? Fingers crossed, fingers crossed!
First up, Ben. He says it’s Madame Butterfly. And no one disagrees. Hey, good sign! Michael says this would cut through the newsstand noise. Nina likes the combination of the colors. Joanna thinks it’s a real contender.
Anna Marie is next on the block. Joanna says it’s like a three ingredient dish that makes her feel nauseous. Nina points out it will look awful on Heidi. Anna Marie could be going home. Heidi thinks it’s made well, but the envelope wasn’t pushed.
Anthony finally gets a thumbs up! Michael says it’s modern, the length is great and the costume era is over for Anthony. Nina gave him props for embracing color. Heidi thought it was slimming. Anthony may win this thing. And seriously, I couldn’t be happier. Anthony is pretty much shaping up as the only reason to watch this boring ass season.
Janeane tries to convince the judges she was inspired by the sea, but they aren’t buying. Michael thinks it’s too busy for a cover. Heidi doesn’t think it’s fashion-forward. Joanna isn’t getting the beach from the dress, unless it’s a polluted beach full of plastic bottles.
Mila’s dress looks like crap close-up. And, wait for it... the judges agree! Michael thinks it looks like an ace bandage. Nina thinks the arrows seem to be pointing at her crotch. Joanna thinks it looks like it’s trying to disappear. Yay! The judges hated it!
Michael gives Emilio props for making jersey structured. Joanna thinks it would be a strong cover. Nina loves the detail, but she worries it’s too junior. Then, Michael tells Emilio to cut the straps, and it instantly looks more sophisticated.
And then, everyone’s off the runway. That was it? That was the bloodbath? Lifetime, you lie! BAD network, BAD! I will never trust you again! And I may not even watch “Snapped” anymore when there’s nothing else on, you hear me?
First up, the losers. The judges think Janeane didn’t understand Heidi’s style at all. They give Anna Marie props for well-made shorts, but don’t think the outfit’s special. As for Mila, Heidi thought she’d have to wear a lot of self-tanner to deal with what Joanna calls a “hospital food” colored dress. I think Joanna should come back every week, because man, is she good with the one liners. If Lifetime executives are smart, they’ll give this woman her own show, pronto.
Next, the winners. Michael thought Emilio’s dress had cleavage, color and a nice line. Joanna gave him props for his willingness to edit the dress on the runway. Michael thinks Ben’s dress would be eye-catching on the newsstand. Joanna thinks Anthony’s dress was charming.
There’s only a few minutes left of the show, and I have not seen blood. I am soooo disappointed.
Anthony is... the winner of the challenge. Holy crap! Go, Anthony! If you’ve got to win a challenge, this is probably the one to win. Even if no one reads anymore. But who cares? Anthony won something!
Backstage, everyone squeals and gives Anthony a hug. Someone should point this out to Mila. People like Anthony, so they congratulate him. People hate Mila, so they quietly will her to shut the hell up. Hmm.
Anyway, Emilio and Ben can leave the runway. Now, we’re left with the losers. Unfortunately, Mila is in. It’s down to Anna Marie and Janeane. And Anna Marie is... out. Huh. I would have sworn Janeane was going to go. But no big surprise either way.
Anna Marie takes it bravely on the chin. No tears. No drama. No excitement. Just like the rest of this achingly boring episode.
Unless Heidi hits the runway and starts shooting models, I am not getting my promised bloodbath.
So, next week, another challenge, something something something, but I’m not paying any attention to the promo. Because now that I know Lifetime promos are about as believable as campaign promises, well, I’m out.
Do you think Mila should have gone home? Do you think Anthony’s dress was the best cover shot? And would you watch Joanna if she had her own show?