Recap: 'Project Runway' - 'Hard Wear'
Whoo hoo, it’s the final ten designers! Everyone’s super excited, although I would think any week you don’t get sent home is probably super exciting, but people like nice, round numbers for some reason. Mila’s sad so many women have eaten it, but she’s empowered that she hasn’t, which pretty much kills off any of the warm fuzziness I built up for Mila in the last episode.
[Full recap of Thursday's (March 4) "Project Runway" after the break...]
Anyway, let’s get to work, shall we? The challenge will be delivered by America’s Favorite Designer, and guess who that is? Michael Kors! Shocker! The challenge will entail shopping for material at a hardware store. Worse, it’s not even like a Home Depot or something, but some Mom and Pop cramped little storefront in Manhattan where everything looks rusty and not even well-labeled. Like, I wouldn’t want to have to find a gasket in this hellhole, much less two yards of dress material. But somehow, everyone grabs a pile of crap, makes their purchases and heads out with dread in their hearts.
Then, it’s back to Parsons. Wait, is it me or do all the designers now have iPads to sketch on? Nice score, “Project Runway”!
Once everyone puts their new high-tech toys aside, it’s the usual workroom silliness. Jonathan and Amy are besties. And Seth is pounding metal. Emilio doesn’t have enough washers or cords for his ill-conceived dress. And Seth is pounding metal. Jay thinks Emilio is making a stripper outfit, which I have to agree with, although that may be generous. And Seth is pounding metal. Jesse hopes someone else crashes and burns instead of him, which is probably foreshadowing. And Seth is pounding metal. I get the sense Seth is making something with metal. I guess Seth didn’t say anything cute or amusing this week, but the producers wanted to give him screen time nonetheless.
Ohh, heartfelt moment time! Jay really wants to win, because it would mean so much to his family. And he and his sisters had to fight... so... hard... for... everything when they were growing up! And then his little face crumples up. You know, I do feel bad for Jay, but you know these goopy moments only happen because the designers are so sleep deprived and stressed out their one minute away from full scale crazy, so it’s best not to get too wrapped up in them.
Tim comes to visit our pounding, bloody-fingered designers. He asks Mila how her dress is going to support itself. He says it’s very exciting, but his face is saying, mmm, crap. He tells Jesse his outfit looks like something for an elementary school play, and that he needs to watch the costume aspect. Jesse doesn’t seem particularly worried. Tim’s entire face collapses when he sees Emilio’s bad flapper dress, and he suggests Emilio might have to rock a bottomless dress, which is sure to get “Project Runway” a nasty fine from the FCC. Tim tells Anthony his look looks tortured, but he and Anthony are on the same page because Anthony hates it, too. But he loves Jay’s garbage bag leather pants. He thinks Mila’s necklace is stunning. So far, the early contender for big friggin’ mess is Emilio. Come on, Emilio! Unravel your shirt if you have to, but don’t send your model down the runway sans pants! That’s just not hygienic, my friend.
When the models come in, Jay realizes his pants are too small, and Emilio realizes he’s making a bikini. Out of washers and twine. That’s one step away from a Speedo made out of tiny lead anchor weights. Can’t wait to see that at the Olympics someday.
Anthony gives his predictions for who’s on the bottom. First up, he nominates Emilio, because he’s making his poor model look like a cheap hooker, although he says it in a slightly nicer way. He also thinks Jesse and Ben have gone the tortured route. I haven’t seen much of Ben’s look, but otherwise, I’m with Anthony here.
Finally, it’s runway time! Our judges are Michael Kors, Nina Garcia, First Lady designer Isabel Toledo and jewelry designer Stephen Webster. A jewelry designer? Okay, Mila’s winning for that key necklace.
Hey, black and white! That’s new! Mila NEVER does mod, graphic looks! She’s CERTAINLY not a one-trick pony or anything? It does look pretty cool, though. At least for someone with only one trick, it’s a good trick.
Ugh, this is a Halloween costume. It looks like she’s floating on a little metallic cloud. He’s getting slaughtered for this.
Cute little copper halter dress. Nice job, Jonathan! And he was worried he wouldn’t finish on time.
This is actually a nice little dress, but it isn’t cutting edge. It honestly looks like something you could buy at Macy’s, which is pretty much the kiss of death.
Ick. this looks like a flattened candy wrapper.
This is just wrong. It looks like a frat guy barfed up spaghetti and metal washers on a model at the beach. If I have to pick like or hate, I’m going with hate.
This is incredible. No way would I ever guess this came from a hardware store. Jay never fails to impress.
Oh, come on, Seth. Good thing you can’t go home. This looks like a tin foil Ed Wood nightmare.
I wouldn’t have believed it, but Amy made sandpaper kinda cute.
Love the jacket. I’m not as big of a fan of the necklace, but I think it’s going to be a hit.
Time for Heidi’s verdict, delivered in an ominously squeaky voice. Ben, Jonathan, Amy and Seth are safe.
First up is Mila. Why does her model look like she’s going to throw up? Everyone looooves it. Seriously, has no one noticed she keeps making and remaking the same dress? The less said about Mila, the better.
Emilio is next. Nina asks what happened. This is Emilio’s chance to confess he screwed up royally, but he just lies and says he was going for something different. Michael doesn’t care, because he thinks it’s cheesy. Heidi thinks it looks thrown on. Isabel appreciated the thought that went into it, but I think she means panic, not thought. Oh, Emilio, you should have just admitted you screwed up.
Michael thinks Anthony’s dress is a bad prom dress. Nina thinks it’s boring and misses the point. Isabel wishes he’d gone with some hardware store attitude. Anthony looks shocked.
Michael thinks Mila created a head-to-toe look. Nina thinks she showed restraint and it was the right thing to do. Heidi thinks she could see it in Marie Claire. I think I could, too, but that may be less about Mila being great and more about the fact I’ve seen all manner of weird crap in women’s magazines.
Nina thinks Jesse’s outfit looks like the Tin Man from the “Wizard of Oz.” Michael thinks she’s dressed as a Hershey’s kiss. Heidi thinks it looks like a dirty vacuum bag. I think Jesse is screwed.
On to Jay. Heidi thinks it’s amazing. Michael’s amazed it’s trash bags. I would friggin’ buy this, I swear. It’s gorgeous. And I will never look at blue painter’s tape the same way again.
Behind the scenes, everyone loves Mila (yawn), Stephen thinks Jay created a luxury product out of, well, crap, and Michael thought Mila’s necklace was the best accessory of the runway. As for the losers, Stephen thought Emilio’s bikini was a bloody disaster, but Nina didn’t think it was so bad. Everyone hates Jesse’s dirty vacuum bag dress. Oh, and Anthony was a sales rack bore. I’m guessing Jesse’s a goner. I mean, how do you recover from a dirty vacuum bag dress?
Judgment time! Maya is... in. Jay is... the winner. Yay! His outfit was the best, but even better, Mila looks like she wants to slug him. Did you know he’s a community college dropout? Neither did I! But if they’re teaching that kind of sewing and design at community college, sign me up for an extension class.
Anthony is... in. It’s down to Emilio and Jesse. Jesse is... out. Yeah, you can put together a stripper costume on “PR,” but the greater sin is always showing a lack of taste. And, even if the judges say it’s about what you did that week that counts, Emilio has otherwise been the stronger designer.
Jesse doesn’t understand why he’s going. He swears a little. He almost has an expression, but that may have been a gas bubble. It’s hard to know with Jesse. Tim can’t believe Jesse’s going home, either, but Tim is just a nice guy and wants to make loser Jesse feel better. I mean, come on, it was a Hershey’s kiss costume.
So, another week, another designer bites the dust. But I love promos, because next week something looks like a cat in a baby sling, and I’ve just got to see that!
Do you think Jesse deserved to go home? Whose design did you like the best? And do you think Emilio should have confessed to the judges that he ran out of material?