Before we dive back into the gooey donut competition, let's just take a moment. Can you believe Adam has stayed in the house for this long? Me, neither. Part of me is impressed by his ability to skate through without winning anything and part of me finds it depressing thinking he could win the whole thing just by being a likable oaf with a "90210" obsession.  But hey, Adam's doing pretty well in this HOH competition, so maybe he'll break his losing streak.

Adam and Rachel are, for a while at least, neck and neck. Not that anyone is moving particularly quickly through the sea of goo (which looks like Karo syrup and motor oil) the hamsters must get through. Kalia, though, is one step away from giving up. As much as she doesn't want Rachel to win HOH, the girl has all the stamina of a dying turtle when it comes to physical challenges. 
 
Meanwhile, Adam really wants to win. He knows Kalia voted to oust him, and he's coming after her. Even when Adam tries to act tough, you just want to give him a binky and a heavy metal CD. 
 
As Kalia falls further and further behind and realizes it's going to be either Rachel or Adam, she reveals that last week she was only voting how she thought Rachel and Jordan were going to vote! But she didn't know how they voted! Maybe she should have asked them. They probably wouldn't have told her, but just a thought. 
 
Jordan reveals that during the challenge, she stuck the donuts in her mouth and the sprinkles were real! So she ate a few. You can always count on Jordan to find the silver lining, can't you?
 
Rachel, who notices how much Kalia is struggling, thinks Kalia should have worked out instead of slept all summer. Ouch. Adam says he needs to prove to himself he can win big challenges when he has to. He needs to prove he's been doing something other than picking his teeth all summer, really. 
 
Of course, because Rachel is a machine and I think Adam secretly doesn't want to break his losing streak, Rachel wins HOH. As Porsche glumly puts the key around her neck, Rachel has to obnoxiously say it's for Brendon! And for Jeff! And for her and Jordan. Even though Rachel's been surprisingly low key since Brendon left the house, she's still Rachel. 
 
Rachel announces it's time to see her HOH ROOM! Because it doesn't make anyone want to throw up or anything! Kalia is the last to show up because she's sleeping. Again. As usual. How do they even get enough footage of her in a wakeful state for the show? Adam says her nickname is Koala, because koalas sleep 22 hours a day. Hands down, best nickname of the season. 
 
Oh ma GOD the HOH room has been BRENCHEL-IZED! Weirdly, all the girls get fired up about a picture of Brendon from his first season, in which he was long haired and scruffy. Jordan is quick to point out he isn't as cute as Jeff, because, uh, she's with Jeff. Oh, honey, you guys have been locked up in what amounts to a female prison with one dumpy, bald guard for a while, don't worry about it. Adam can't understand why the girls are excited about a picture and not his real, live manliness. I think he's joking, or I hope he is.
 
Time for everyone to beg at Rachel's feet. Koala (I have to use that, it's too perfect) is first to plead. And when I say plead, I'm not exaggerating. While Rachel sits, stone-faced, Koala bargains and wheedles and cries a little. Finally, Rachel realizes she should snap out of her Brendon fantasy or making wedding to-do lists in her head for a moment and at least pretend to give a crap about what Koala is saying. She asks if Koala would throw Porsche under the bus and take her and Jordan to the final two, and Koala heartily agrees. For some reason, I'm thinking Rachel isn't buying it. 
 
Rachel chats with Jordan about her driving record. And how many accidents she's had. Basically, whenever Rachel gets behind the wheel she hits someone. Usually I would never say someone should be restricted to public transportation in Los Angeles because it takes you forever to get anywhere, but Rachel should be restricted to public transportation.
 
Next in the HOH room is Porsche. Instead of giving Porsche the stony face she gave Kalia, Rachel whines a little. When did they stop being friends? It could have been the two of them to the end! Why isn't she mentioning Jordan? Anyway, Porsche tells Rachel she'll take her to the final three and won't put her on the block. Then in the interview room, Porsche reveals yeah, she'll put Rachel on the block. Well, at least she's dishonest. 
 
Adam tells Jordan that he misses his girlfriend, but she doesn't like to be called Donna Martin in bed. Blech. Then we get a montage of Adam obsessing over "90210." Is this a hint of the celebrity twist to come? I'd be really surprised if they didn't get Adam into the same room with Tori Spelling at some point this season. Although that could be dangerous for Tori Spelling. 
 
We will soon find out, because it's time for Pandora's Box! Rachel sees Tori Spelling on a video screen and reads that there will be a celebrity shopping spree if she opens the box.  She's so excited! But what if the box changes the game? Eh, who cares. Rachel opens the box. 
 
But when she enters her room, she's not with Tori Spelling. Instead, she gets a shopping spree with Jesse, Mr. Pectacular, and her reward is all the Mr. Pectacular T-shirts, cups, plates and useless crap she can carry. Rachel is crushed. 
 
But downstairs, Tori actually walks in through the front door, and while Rachel is stuck with Jesse, the real celebrity shmoozes the other houseguests. As you might expect, Adam is about to wet himself. Tori tells him that if she has a boy, she's going to name him Adam. Yeah, I don't think so, but Adam laps it up like a kitten at a bowl of sweet cream. Tori kisses Adam's inflatable duck. He swoons. Oddly, I thought Adam would get more keyed up about Tori Spelling being within spitting distance, but it's probably a good thing he controlled himself as I think he secretly wanted to toss her to the ground and eat her alive. 
 
Meanwhile, a video screen flickers to life in the Pandora's box room, and Rachel must watch everyone having a lot more fun than she's having. 
 
Tori releases the housemates to go on a shopping spree outside the house, in that they have to put on as many clothes as they can in three minutes. Rachel sees sparkly shoes! And she's SO MAD! She has stupid T-shirts! Well, that's what you get for opening Pandora's box, silly.
 
Next, it's time for Adam to talk to Rachel and Jordan. Rachel is realizing there might be some benefit in keeping a floater. Well, given your other options are Kalia (Koala) and Porsche, you'd have to be stupid not to go with a seemingly harmless floater. 
 
After Adam leaves, Jordan and Rachel talk about the nominations. Rachel is so torn! Really? Jordan points out they've already been tricked by Shelly, so they can't get tricked by other people. It's so sad to see Jordan being so cynical.
 
Time for nominations!
 
Jordan is safe.
Adam is safe. 
Kalia (Koala) and Porsche are on the block. 
 
Porsche is coming after Rachel. Kalia (Koala) seems resigned to her fate, having already mourned earlier in the HOH room. It seems pretty likely one or the other is going home, but given how "Big Brother"'s been rolling lately, there's always room for another twist. 

Who do you think is going home? What did you think of the celebrity twist? Do you think the game is rigged?