Kyle Massey performing on Monday's 'Dancing with the Stars'
It’s elimination night, which is never fun, but I am very curious to see who’s going to the semifinals, or more importantly, who’s not. I’ve got to think Bristol or Kurt has gone as far as he or she can, but you never know. They don’t call Bristol bulletproof for nothing. Although I don’t know what anyone calls Kurt. Maybe Big Football Player, but that isn’t really relevant to how many votes he gets.
[Tuesday's (Nov. 9) "Dancing with the Stars" results after the break...]
First up, Len asks to see Kyle and Lacey’s jive, which I really don’t mind seeing twice. Though he may not have the skills of Brandy or Jennifer, he might be the most improved of the final bunch, and really, isn’t that the point of “DWTS”? Unless it’s a popularity contest, or maybe just a chance to turn what should be a one hour show once a week into a hugely drawn-out ordeal with a little dancing, I guess.
Kyle and Lacey are… safe! I’m glad to see Kyle is moving on in the competition, as this week he really danced his ass off.
While most of the cutesy jokes and parodies on “DWTS” fall flat, I kind of loved the SportsCenter parody with Kenny Mayne and Jerry Rice. Not only was it true to the original spots, Len appeared topless, which was impressive because he’s super fit for his age plus he has tats. Go, Len!
After the commercial, we return to DanceCenter, which is a little too much DanceCenter, as a little goes a long way. Kenny and Jerry do their snarky best with some weak material, which includes commenting on a fake grocery list tattooed onto Mark’s side, Len’s giant foam hand and a barf joke about Bristol Palin. I told you it was weak material.
Taio Cruz performs “Dynamite,” which actually lends itself to dancing. Then, after the commercial break, John Legend and the Roots perform “Wake Up Everybody,” which isn’t quite so obviously danceable, as it sounds kind of like one of those educational ditties that they used to air as part of “Schoolhouse Rock.” Not that Tony, Chelsea, Maks and Cheryl don’t boogie their butts off, though really, I think they should flick some lighters and sway gently back and forth instead.
Time for Kurt and Anna to hear their fate. I’m guessing they’re on the block. Oh, and they’re going up with Jennifer and Derek. Yeah, they’re definitely on the block.
Jennifer and Derek are… safe. Of course. Kurt and Anna are… in jeopardy.
And we get another DanceCenter parody, which is just Kenny Mayne being Kenny Mayne, which is actually funny.
Backstage, Brooke makes Maks apologize for yelling at the judges last night, which he does, though he sneaks in a snide comment before Brooke signs off, which is all kinds of awesome. Maks is an angry, angry man, isn’t he?
Then, it’s time to watch a bunch of pre-pubescent kids do the jive while another pre-pubescent kid plays piano. Tom tells us we’re going to love it, and it’s fine, but you know what I’d really love? The results, Tom, because while I’m watching a bunch of kids do the jive, I could be doing dishes. Just a thought.
We return from the commercial to see John Legend and the Roots perform “Ordinary People.” And hey, that’s Janine from “So You Think You Can Dance”! Good to see her again, even if her appearance is just one of the many things delaying the results.
And it’s time for… Dance Center. Again. We learn Brandy wears a nine and a half shoe size and is 5 foot 8. And doesn’t like brandy. And Jennifer’s favorite color is light black. And Kenny and Jerry are wearing skirts.
The next couple safe is… Bristol and Mark. What? What? Brandy and Maks are in jeopardy? What crazy upside down world am I in? Do people understand Bristol isn’t running for public office? This is a dance competition, Tea Partiers, vote accordingly!
Time to hear from the judges. Bruno says that if Kurt gets the boot, the competition will lose a real gentleman, which is a nice way of saying he’s a crappy dancer. Carrie Ann says she respects all of the pro dancers, so she hopes Maks will let it go. Well, seems like voters didn’t. Ouch.
The couple getting the boot is… Kurt and Anna. He takes it graciously, which makes sense for an athlete who knows a little something about win a few, lose a few. That leaves Bristol as the only dancer who is out of her depth and, honestly, seems to know it. Well, there’s always next week.
Do you think Kurt deserved to go? Why do you think Bristol is bulletproof? Do you think Brandy was really in the bottom two, or was that just the producers getting cute?